Watch This

I'm not really what you'd call a watch person. I have a few wristwatches, sure. There's Clifford the Big Red Watch, which I bought for the altimeter because I thought that would be cool on trips out west. I have a murdered-out Citizen Eco-Drive I bought because I thought it looked really cool. Oh, and the orange and black Bertucci that I bought as kind of an homage to ToddG, since those were his colors and he was definitely a watch person.

Some concatenation of circumstances caused the internet to waft this past my eyes the other day.

I will not deny that it is super-cool looking, but a watch from the Braves gift shop that costs three hundo is something I need like I need a hole in my head, and there's a simple reason behind that lack of need.

It's because the truth of the matter is that the Apple watch is the only one I usually wear, because it's nice to be able to reject phone calls without actually pulling my phone out of my pocket. Sending text messages by talking to my wrist is pretty Futurama, too, not gonna lie. It nags me about my calorie burning, or lack thereof. I use the Apple watch, whereas I just wear the others and occasionally consult them regarding the time.

I get that watches are a hobby some people really enjoy, but it's one I don't entirely understand.

This puts me in the same boat as Mike at TOP:

"Unless the rest of your life is not just prosperous but downright rich, everyone would assume you're wearing a fake Rolex even if you're wearing a real Rolex. No way would I ever wear a real Rolex, because it would shame me! Anyone would assume it's fake. And a fake Rolex? How gauche. Poor taste.

It would shame me, though, only to those who noticed what I was wearing at all. That's another problem...no one cares what watch you wear. Maybe one person in 50 would notice it said "Rolex" on your watch, even if you took pains to wave it around under their noses. There are so many near-copies of Rolexes in the world—most companies have Rolex lookalikes for different distinct Rolex models, even—that most people, at a glance, would just assume you're wearing one of those.

So Rolexes don't actually work as jewelry for status display. At least not unless you're already someone who people would assume would wear a real Rolex. In which case you don't need to wear a real Rolex.

Am I conveying my flummoxification?"