Monday, May 01, 2006

Politics: Here's a genius law...

I wake up every morning, do my little morning rituals, then settle down in front of the massive banks of raw computing power at VFTP Command Central and scan the Errornet to see if anybody's done anything stupid recently for me to make fun of.

I'm rarely disappointed.
Salazar's legislation would make it illegal to make a false public claim to be a recipient of any military valor award, such as the Medal of Honor, a Silver Star or Purple Heart.
Now, I'm sure that Rep. Salazar's heart is in the right place with his Stolen Valor Act, and I definitely think that pathological liars who make phony claims to great deeds of heroism are complete twinks, and should be mocked, laughed at, and scorned for the pathetic Walter Mittys they are at every available opportunity. But making it a federal crime for Walter to tell his disbelieving audience at the Dixie Barr & Grill that he won three Medals of Honor in the Navy during Desert Storm? Really?

Think about that: A F E D E R A L C R I M E. Right up there with Treason and Counterfeiting and Transporting Girls Across A State Line For Immoral Purposes. Isn't this attaching a bit too much meaning to these BS claims? Isn't this giving them, in a back-handed way, the kind of attention they seek?

Further, are our federal law enforcement officers so bored, are things so quiet on the terrorism front, that we can waste time and my freaking tax dollars prosecuting a whole gun show's worth of fake SquEALs every time they open their mouth? Has anybody figured out the potential logistics of this? Folks, a meaningless, unenforceable law is worse than no law at all, but we pressure our congresscritters to "do something", and the only something they can do is pass federal laws. Think about that the next time you decide to write to your representative to complain about your neighbor's crabgrass, lest your representative propose the Aesthetically Pleasing Lawns Act of '07.

Meanwhile, come on, Mr. Salazar, don't you have anything important you could be repealing doing?

8 comments:

B&N said...

I'm of the same mind. The 'Do Something' crowd have got to grow up.

Constituents and politicians both act like petulant children at the least of concerns. Maybe they should get spanked, but that too would offend some as 'abuse' or something.

The social doomsday clock just took another tick, right?

MDL said...

It is already illegal to wear a Medal of Honor that isn't yours. I think your widow can wear it though.

BobG said...

Though I think it is reprehensible to claim a medal you have not earned, I agree that it is a little excessive to make it a federal crime. I think a better solution would be to show the culprit's face and name in the media with a description of what he had done. The public humiliation would be a fitting punishment for someone trying to get attention with false claims.
As far as using federal tax dollars to go after these cockroaches, that might be a more useful job for the characters of the BATFE.

STANDARD MISCHIEF -- REAL AMERICAN said...

I think a better solution would be to show the culprit's face and name in the media with a description of what he had done. The public humiliation would be a fitting punishment for someone trying to get attention with false claims.

Agreed, there's nothing like a little shunning or ridicule to bring the proper social behavior around.

aiina!

phlegmfatale said...

Hear! Hear! Brilliantly stated, as per usual. Repealing is right. THAT is one way I'd be delighted to see today's tax dollars at work: setting a match to reams of useless and insulting federal legislation.

Cowboy Blob said...

Sorry, but I gotta weigh in for the pencil-necked politician this time. Do you really want to reduce these awards our servicemen/women earn, sometimes at the cost of their lives or limbs, to just pretty pieces of ribbon to which the wearer may or may not be entitled...at the risk of a little public scorn for abusing them?

Tam said...

Wearing the decorations is already an offense, Blob.

Do you propose I prone out every gunshop commando that comes in the store (since they'd be committing a federal felony in my presence) and hold them 'til the cops get there just because they claim they won the CMOH three times? Or should we all just laugh at him?

Blob, we already have about twenty five pounds of federal felonies we don't need. We don't need to add "Felonious Bulshitting" to the list.

BobG said...

"Blob, we already have about twenty five pounds of federal felonies we don't need. We don't need to add "Felonious Bulshitting" to the list."

I have to agree; these people deserve contempt, not jail time. Also, anyone who gets off on bragging up something like that is going to be especially bothered by ridicule.