Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Reboot your shoes...

Apple and Nike have announced a joint venture that will allow your shoes and your iPod to talk to each other. No, I'm not stuttering: somewhere there is actually a real, live marketing wonk who said "Hey, Bob, wouldn't it be cool if your Air Jordans could rap with your Walkman via WiFi?" And Bob said "Yeah! It would!" And a focus group was convened. And now your personal electronics can snicker about you behind your back with your sneakers and, for all we know, get together with your Blackberry and con the ATM machine into pulling your account down around your ankles while your back is turned. At what point do we just say "Stop! This is crazy! Don't put a computer there!"

I'd type about this more, but I have to go press Ctrl+Alt+Del on my toilet seat...

9 comments:

phlegmfatale said...

this is just crazy talk. Some things simply are not meant to be automated. It's a clockwork orange. Totally messed up. And people are lapping it up like holy manna. Disturbing.

Standard Mischief said...

Stupid fracking press release. Doesn't tell you how the watza thingys talk to each other. Is it wi-fi, zigbee, bluetooth, or some “works with nothing else” format?

Perhaps what they need to do is to put an acceleration meter in each shoe so it always knows where you put each foot. Then they could port over “Dance Dance Revolution”! Might become the killer app! :)

...and then instantly upload their workout information to a Nike Web site, www.nikeplus.com, where they can share the information with their friends.

Ah, Hell no! what's with this “all you workout data belongs to us” crap? Where they say “.. where they can share the information with their friends”, that's multinational corporation lingo for “where we can share your workout info with a select group of pre-screened (have enough cash) marketing partners”

Dr. StrangeGun said...

reminds me somewhat of a fable...

AdaM said...

Sheep I tell you, they are sheep.

Ben said...

"I have to go press Ctrl+Alt+Del on my toilet seat..."

Sure as hell beats using a plunger!

BobG said...

What's next, Bluetooth in your BVD's?

pax said...

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

From my quotes file: "I went to my first computer conference at the New York Hilton about 20 years ago. When somebody there predicted the market for microprocessors would eventually be in the millions, someone else said, "Where are they all going to go? It's not like you need a computer in every doorknob!" Years later, I went back to the same hotel. I noticed the room keys had been replaced by electronic cards you slide into slots in the doors. There was a computer in every doorknob." -- Danny Hillis

pax

Steve Skubinna said...

So now, when a Nigerian e-mail scam comes in, how do I prevent my shoes from running over there themselves to give up my account info?

Atul said...

As long as people keep buying, companies will keep making and pushing the limits on where computer chips go. I worry about all the wireless radiation that bombards my body on a daily basis, but what can I do? :-)