Thursday, November 22, 2007

Are your cats bothering you?

Empirical research has just determined that the pipes and drums of the Chicago PD's Emerald Society playing "Scotland The Brave" and "Danny Boy" at 110dB will chase any felines in the house under the nearest piece of furniture.

If you'll excuse me now, I have to go kill some Sassenach, whatever those are. I'm not sure why.

26 comments:

Eilthireach said...

That's "Sasannach" - "Sasannaich" for more than one...

Jeffro said...

Glad I'm Irish.

Jenny said...

nothing like hearing "Scotland the Brave" to make ya start lookin' for burly men in kilts. yum. :)

Ben said...

Sounds like the cats must have a case of Johnnie Cope syndrome.

The Tannahill Weavers' version of "Johnnie Cope" is one of the best if you'd like to try it out on them to make sure.

Makes the Scot in me come right out when I hear it. I just want to drink and fight and dance and carry on and generally have a good time while killing the English.

Roberta X said...

It means "lowlander," "Saxon" or "Englishman." More or less. Them as can't abide in the high places nor drink the usquebaugh, who understand not the rocks or the wind.

Y'r a-makin' me tear up now. I may forget the family grant of arms holds but a single naturally-colored rose on an argent background...

The poor moggies are innocent victims of a kittenhood spent amongst the wrong sort of folk, who don't play the pipes. Happens to human folk as well. 'Tis why the Crown classed the instrument as a weapon of war.

comatus said...

There are civilised pipes, made for playing in the parlour, but we coona have that now.

One legend has it that pipes were invented in Ireland, and given to the Scots. As revenge.

Cybrludite said...

Good thing my cow-orker ducked out early. This post has me listening to the bagpipe version of "March of Cambreadth" at top volume.

Jenny said...

good ol' Heather.

So long as there's pipes and blades, that gal will never be forgotten. :)

El Capitan said...

I had 'Scotland The Brave' as a cellphone ringtone for a while, but I got so very tired of numerous amadáns asking me why my phone kept playing the theme from those old Irish Spring soap commercials...

Hunter said...

Hey jeffro, the current World Pipe Band champions are the Field Marshall Montgomery Pipe Band of Ireland.

I use my GHBs to call our exterior guard cats to supper. Neighbors are not to pleased for some reason, but what the hey, it keeps the cats out of their yards.

Don Gwinn said...

When I played for the Fighting Scots, we used to come out to Scotland the Brave (Monmouth didn't have full-ride scholarships for sports, but they did have them for pipers and drummers.) You couldn't march out to that and not be in a frenzy, Scottish or no.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I have the opposite reaction when I hear the pipes and think.

" Ahhh, pipes. Excellent. Saddle up lads, time to go smite the heathen highlanders and teach them the finer points of mayhem and music.

phlegmfatale said...

anonymous - I couldn't help but notice how bravely you stepped up to the plate here to serve attitude. Funny you didn't mention the forn parts whence you hail.

[didja SEE that, comatus? It learns! It learns!]

Breda said...

uisce beatha - "water of life", also invented by the Irish, as revenge (of sorts).

Rabbit said...

Oh! Oh! Can I play too? My ancestors made a cottage industry out of killing English and stealing their cattle and women. I do so hate to miss out on all the fun.

Regards,
Rabbit.

comatus said...

Anon, you'd best get yourself a name and nationality, and ram home a charge. You have just been challenged by a duellist of the first water. It's not, you know, too late to apologize. And live.

Now a few of us may sail under false colors: The Scots-Irish are not half of each, but rather Scots lowlanders who camped for a generation after The Enclosure in Ireland before finding the Ozarks. Their Indian-fighting skills were whetted by fighting the Irish, who had at that time approximately the same level of civil discourse. I take this as a compliment to the Scots, the Irish, and the Choctaws. Cherokees may be miffed.

You have to wonder, when some wag called the Sikhs "the Scots of India," which of those two he didn't think would kick his arse for it?

Rabbit lad, it's cattle and horses. Never admit to stealing an Englishwoman.

Breda said...

I'm glad you said it, comatus, so I didn't have to.

over here behind breda said...

You are here on a matter of honour.
I am here to assure you settle it honourably.
There will be no backstabbing.

Phlegm? Anon? Your seconds attend.

Rabbit said...

Comatus, I've found it best to be somewhat selective between the two, horses or Englishwomen, and to steal that which has the better teeth by comparison.

Sometimes it's a stretch on either side.

Regards,
Rabbit.

comatus said...

I've heard it said--mind you, it's not really my own opinion, I'm just reporting--that, just judging by teeth, it takes the very hell of a stable hand to tell the difference.

Kristopher said...

Bag pipes. Weapon of war?

No ... weapon of torture. Whenever the pipers start up at rendezvous, you can always hear the dogs in camp starting to howl.

Anonymous said...

Anon here:

Danish - Norman if you must know, and you scots better pipe down, (as it were) the Anglo-Saxons fell first, and the Scots got what was coming later.

THAT question is good and settled, you all lost.

But fair is fair, you made decent infantry and entreprising colonists once given a bit of direction and a veneer of civilization and order.

comatus said...

phlegm,

You took that...from a Frisian?
--Charlton Heston, 1965.

'Danish/Norman.' That's an awful lot like 'Scots-Irish.'

Ian Argent said...

Sadly (or not so sadly) - Scotland the Brave has been replaced in the concert in my head by "Scotland Depraved" by the Tartan Terrors - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uWEpKWxMmI
Lyrics found at http://www.blackfryars.com/songLyrics.asp?FILE=Scotland%20Depraved%20(Tartan%20Terrors).txt

phlegmfatale said...

comatus - I took nothing: since my prior post, I've been in the Ozarks - holidays and such.

aNormanous - At least my Skye-cum-hillbilly heritage is celebrated with fine beer and festivals featuring proper manly exhibitions and the like, whereas your culture is remembered most fondly when we ponder the coiffure of Princess Leia.

comatus said...

And, it's on...