Friday, November 09, 2007

Be careful where you buy your Khlav-khalash...

Via Michael Silence, I learned that the Feebs had their computers crunching through California grocer's receipts looking for unusual sales spikes in falafel purchases, because anywhere that a lot of falafel is getting bought, there are sure to be some islamist tangos, right?

This leaves me all at sea. I don't know whether I think it's absolute genius, because the tangos aren't eating pulled pork BBQ, right? They're eating something chickpea-based based for sure, 'cause that's what them heathen foreigners do, and obviously they put their correct address on their Kroger Plus Card form. Or do I get a vaguely queasy feeling and run my thumb down my pocket Bill O' Rights to find the one that says that the unconstitutional National Police Force can't rummage through the customer tracking data from my local greengrocer's without what must be a very amusing warrant to read?

Obviously, word of this getting out is going to drive Mediterranean food product purchases underground into the black market, or at least to the corner ethnic food store...

17 comments:

LawDog said...

Ooo ... I feel the need to stock up on falafel. I wonder if the local ethnic store sells it in 25 pound bags?

LawDog said...

I do note in that story that the Great Falafel Tracking Caper was sunk out of the starting gate by the boss as being "ridiculous and possible illegal" -- which goes a long way towards moving this story from irritating to amusing.

BobG said...

Hell, garbanzo beans (chickpeas) are extremely common in Italian cooking; you think maybe they're trying to smoke out the Mafia also? {/sarcasm}

triticale said...

I buy my chick peas at the Mexican grocery, which means that whoever's card I found in the parking lot of the major chain has nothing to worry about.

Anonymous said...

Or, it could just be a dry run exercise to see how the coding algothrithms works.

That's what I'd be doing to test my work.

"Pick a product, let's see what the filters haul back"

Anonymous said...

I've read of this before where the some local incarnation of the Keystone Kops were looking for "outlying" bulk buyers of plastic baggies to lead them to evil and dastardly marajahoochie sellers ...

DirtCrashr said...

And here we go and try to influence Wal-Mart with a National Ammo Day, and get bupkis...

Standard Mischief said...

RE: walmart and ammo day

Last time the salesdroid wanted to see my ID, I countered "is it not obvious I'm over 21?" He wanted to make sure I was not a DC resident. I would not let him have it, but i let him see my address. Then I paid cash.

RE: chickpeas

The Jewish people and the people of Palestine do agree on one thing, They both call the dish Falafel.

Personally, I make my hummus with chickpeas from the local Latino market that is owned by Koreans. I use kosher salt, key limes, California virgin olive oil and tahini from the Indian grocery. It goes great with hot chili oil (a Chinese condiment), guacamole, and Cool Ranch Doritos

RE: data mining for bad guys

I, for one, welcome our new black-budget Total Information Awareness Overlords.

I’d like to remind them that as a trusted blogger of the intarw3bs, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in the underground data mines.

Ben said...

Psst, hey Ahkmed. I've got falafel. Best in the city. What you need my man, a dime, a quarter?

Lergnom said...

Many, many moons ago, Al Capp ran a strip on the outlawing of beans, the stated reason escapes me.
Fearless Fosdick was then sent out to bust those in the business of illicitly selling beans to the public. The places he raided were called 'beaneasys'.

TBeck said...

Well, the cunning tango will just fill out the paperwork associated with the key chain tag as "Elvis Presley" or "Ozzie Osbourne" just like the rest of us do.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

To wash this down you have Crab Juice and Mountain Dew?

EEEEEEYYEEEEWWWWWWWwwwwwww!!!

I'll try the Crab Juice.

Tam said...

"No bowl. Stick. Stick!"

:D

Anonymous said...

Krogers in cali? Silly Girl.

What might be a mildly smart investigative technique using public records certainly turns into buffoonery when published.

TC

Anonymous said...

Every now and again someone will propose a data-mining scheme such as this one. According to security guru Bruce Schneier, not only do they infringe, potentially, on rights, but they typically encounter such a bad signal/noise rate that they don't work either.

Les Jones said...

This is why I only buy falafel with cash at gunshows from guys walking around in the parking lot.

Anonymous said...

Pay cash. Refuse the discount card, or get one that doesn't point at you.