Thursday, January 03, 2008

Oh. My. Gawd!

So that's why On*Star is so damned popular!

OnStar: Hello, OnStar.
Customer: Hi, I have a problem.
OnStar: How can I help, sir?
Customer: I’m…umm…27, and still a virgin.
OnStar: How old are you really, sir?
Customer: Twenty-nine?
OnStar: Sir?
Customer: Thirty-six.
OnStar: [partially off mike] Holy shit!
Customer: [muffled crying]
OnStar: OK, sir, I need you to stay with me and listen very closely. I’m going to ask you some diagnostic questions to pinpoint the problem. Do you own action figures?
Customer: Yes.
OnStar: And if your Grakthorian Troll with +12 charisma and 170 hit points were to be attacked by a gelatinous cube, what would you do?
Customer: I would don my cloak of invisibility and bypass the cube to enter the dungeons of Dalagdon.
OnStar: I think I know the answer to the next one...


I don't care who you are, that's funny!

(H/T to Dustbury.)

14 comments:

rickn8or said...

I don't care; I still don't want it in my vee-hickle!

Oh, come on now! Word verificaton: zquudyna

Who is..... Carteach0? said...

First, I despise On-Star for what it is...

But, Damn that is FUNNY!

phlegmfatale said...

Instant classic!

Anonymous said...

carteach0--

Ya said it better than me again.

Yes, it was funny!

Rustmeister said...

No wonder he's still a virgin.

Gelatinous Cubes can see invisible.

What a loser.

BobG said...

I think I used to work with that guy...

kbarrett said...

Put down the dice and the junk food.

Go find some girls.

Try talking to them. Many will tell you to get lost. Keep trying with others.

When you find one that makes suggestions, obey them.

Anonymous said...

On-Star is one of the major symptoms of what is wrong with America.

avenger29 said...

You do realize what I see in the lobby where I hang out between classes? That's right, losers playing Dungeons and Dragons, or something like that...

They are usually severely overweight, greasy hair, smell bad, and sound worse...and they are playing a role-playing board game. Well, when you've hit rock bottom...

Tam said...

Did you know that I've been known to play D&D?

Maybe that's why I have a hard time getting dates. :)

Who is..... Carteach0? said...

Tam, if you have a hard time getting dates, you are surrounded by fools.
The problem is NOT you......

Trust me on this....

Tam said...

I was being somewhat sardonic. ;)

Who is..... Carteach0? said...

And I was being somewhat thick headed.

Gender trait I suspect.

Still mean what I said.

Tam said...

Well... *blush*