Wednesday, January 30, 2008

This isn't funny.

My birthday was, what? Fifteen minutes ago? And I wake up this morning to discover that I... um... how to put this delicately? I will be shopping for food high in fiber content today, which is something I've never really done before. (Payback, no doubt, for all the times I made fun of bran-muffin-eating codgers and codgerettes.) Also, it's cold in here and the joints in my right elbow and wrist have this weird, kinda stiff, slightly hurtie feeling when I move them suddenly. I expect that from the various extremities held together with baling wire, but none of the breaks to my right wing have involved joints.

I'm not liking this at all.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Getting old but creaky sure beats the heck out of the alternative of NOT getting older...

Bryan said...

I blame it on the election. It takes a lot of physical effort to not completely go mad. I mean if you didn't have the salt to withstand this wave of malarky we'd find you cooking up shaving cream to pine trees all to fight excessive blinking. Its good to have you in the world of sanity but I still can't explain why Al Gore was right beside you.

Breda said...

pears. eat them. will help.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

Okra. I take mine of the pickled variety.

Breda said...

and maybe lay off the Neurofuel. It's go so much crap in it, it's bound to clog up the works.

James said...

Happy Birthday, young one. Really now, you are way too young to be feeling such age..but then, as in my case, it might be the hard miles...
Yesterday was the first time I had seen your blog. Where have you been hiding? Love your words..

Ben said...

Wait till you try lifting something or polishing the car and your shoulder makes noises like gravel moving in a slurry. Then again, I'm on the express train toward 50 so mebbe you've got a few years.

You aren't on a statin are you? That'll make a clogger every time.

bumper sticker philosopher said...

Like a car warranty once the odometer rolls past that magic number beyond which it is no longer guaranteed, shit starts breaking and falling off.

Welcome to the downhill slope...

Ace said...

Happy birthday, Tam.

I'm told more servings of fruits and vegetables in helpful in loosening up the works. All that good roughage and such.

the doctor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Accccccccctiiiiiiviiiiia!

http://www.dannonactivia.com/

ITOLDYOU!

OA said...

I rolled over thirty three months ago. The day after my birthday I lost my keys...twice, inside of four minutes. I didn't like what it portends...

People tend to drink far less water than they need when it's cold. Oh, and nuts tend to do that job better than bran, as well as taste a hell of a lot better. Sunflower seeds are cheap, too.

Ac-freakin'-tivia. God all mighty I'm sick of commercials like that. Apparently women can't shit on their own without cheese and yogurt, remain "fresh" without a litany of ointments and suppositories, have a period without cheerleading or dancing, suffer the company of men without getting verbally or physically abusive, need deodorant that makes them feel empowered, smell a candle or drink flavored water without twirling around, or suffer any minor inconvenience without popping prescription medication. Advertising for women is apparently based on the idea that women are helpless lunatics with odor problems.

ajdshootist said...

Im one hell of a lot older than you Tam and used to take a lot of pain killers to help with the arthritis but my Doc said try Glucosamine+Chondroitin Tablets and after three days i started to get relief from the pain by a week all fine and now as long as i take one in the morning and one in the evening everthing is OK if i leave of taking them the pain comes back after three days. Drew in UK

Kevin said...

When I hit 40, it hit back. Mostly in my knees.

I recently saw a cute comment: "Anybody notice that '40' in Roman numerals is 'XL'?"

I turn 46 in a couple of months.

"Hill? What hill? I don't remember any hill...."

B&N said...

It's called A-R-T-H-R-I-T-I-S.

Family history? Injuries sustained in motorcycle accidents?

Count on it.

Me, I'm somewhat your junior and I can attest to a serious psychological predisposition toward hard physical competitions in my 'yute for my knees, ankles, shoulders and elbows.

We all get old and creaky at some point. Be glad you had some fun in those ways while you could.

Earl said...

I would go with the statin guess, sounds to me like doctor prescribed degeneration, about the joints. The other seems like a decided lack of raw or gently heated fruits and vegetables. An apple a day was a great idea for lots of reasons.

Roberta X said...

oa, we love yo, too. So much.

Tam: um, could at least some of these symptoms be perchance related to the previous post about "space food sticks?" Just askin'.

OA said...

We? You an advertiser?

phlegmfatale said...

My doglet turned 16 on Halloween, and for about the last 3.5 years, she can't really function well without her daily Glucosamine/MSM chew treats. By "can't function" I mean she literally can't stand up in the morning, and groans painfully if picked up. I think back to the youngling Jack Russell terrorista she was, jumping straight up 5 feet one moment or *busted* jumping off the refrigerator when mom came into the room. Anyhoo, now her old ass is paying the check her young, bounding joints wrote. Payback's a bitch. Anyway, the glucosamine is a wonder pill, and just like with Drew, if she doesn't have it for a few days, she gets stoved-up all over again. Oh, and they make it for peoples, too. Doesn't just make the pain go away, but also reduces swelling in things like old sprained ankles.

Carteach0 said...

Tam, I read that and wanted to offer all kinds of great advice.

Nope... nothing I can tell you will fix the problems. Others are better at it than me.

I will say this.... for all your creaks, groans, and....ah..... plumbing problems, I am sure glad you woke up this morning to start with. Makes the world a better place.

Thanks.

LabRat said...

I'll second what others have said: fruits, vegetables, nuts.

Not only do they work, they are WAAAAAY more comfortable than the bottom-blasters recommended in the eighties and nineties, like oat bran. In general, eating large quantities of something that qualifies as fiber because you can't digest a bit of it is going to be way rougher on you than eating something with water, assorted nutrients, and soluble fibers that have a generally normalizing effect.

OA said...

Omega-3 works well for joints as well. Inexpensive, too.

Ritchie said...

You'll always be the younger woman to me (8^)) It could be worse.
Here's how-you could be living in a tipi-at the base of the Rocky Mountains-in January. How did they manage it.

Tim said...

Congratulations on the anniversary of your natal event!

Wild Bill said...

It isn’t the age Tam … it’s the miles.
As a fledgling member of the codger brigade you need to memorize the primary rules;
a) growing old isn’t an option - growing up is
b) Citrucel is your friend.
Hang in there.
Once you make the adjustment it gets easier.
Cheers

Gregg said...

Activia????

Heck, just drink more bottle conditioned beer. If you have some clogged pipes, pour that yeasty slurry in the bottom into your glass. OTOH, if your pipes aren't clogged, well all things in moderation. Yes, I know it's more of a danger with homebrew. Ass you get to the bottom of the bottling bucket you can get bottles with a good concentration of the little buggers...

les said...

Old is in your mind... What are a few aches and pains on the path to glory!?

If Randy Couture can kick ass, you can kick ass!

I'm back to doing one leg'd squats on my previously-mangled right leg.

Matt G said...

Mmm... I just ate a quarter pound of muenster cheese on some of those new Town House Flipside Pretzel Crackers, and I've never felt better!!

Neener neener from the mid-thirties.

Roberta X said...

Matt: Dude, you're gonna explode.

oa: Nope, I carry a white mouse in my sweatshirt pocket and it agrees with everything I say. hence, "we." Okay? Or does the mouse have ta get tough? ;)

Verudification word: "gpumk." Same to ya, Blogger.

Anonymous said...

So Tam......Did you make p00pies yet?

Randolph said...

From an olde codger:

Bananas are your friend!
Fiber & Potassium.

Oatmeal Banana Raisin Nut cookies!
Lots of fiber! Tasty too!

Celery!
Lots of fiber!

Bean burritos or Beans & Ham.
Lots of fiber!

Still, waking up, even somewhat clogged up is preferable to the alternative!
As was said of W. C. Fields: that he wanted his grave marker to read "On the whole, I would rather be in Philadelphia,"

Matt G said...

...blog's taken on a whole new damned perspective that I wasn't prepared to see...

davera said...

Happy birthday Tam, one day before mine. Let's hear it for Aquarius!

My lovely wife blogged me over on
http://pictureperfectbycandy.blogspot.com
and more pictures at
http://davidavera.spaces.live.com/default.aspx

Anonymous said...

Do NOT buy any gentle female stool softeners. I took 1/2 the recommended dose, and I'm a pudgy guy, and they tore me up like they were made out of jalapeno-stuffed bran muffins.

You may want to try Colon Blow cereal.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Happy Birthday! I don't know how old you are, but your pictures say you're hot with two T's. In a totally flattering, non-stalker way.

Breda said...

gregg - "Ass you get to the bottom of the bottling bucket you can get bottles with a good concentration of the little buggers..."

that has to be the best typo/freudian slip ever!