I had this dream last night that whipsawed between nightmare and trivia and farce...
I was working at this convenience store located in Typical Tamara Dream Territory, which looks very much like the coastal Pacific Northwet, for some reason.
Anyhow, this kid we had just hired came in and stuck the place up. Gruesomely. Shot the manager and the other cashier. And when the cops arrived, it turned out that the other kid loitering in the parking lot was his accomplice, because he ambushed both the arriving officers. And then they fled.
And just then this "Mall Security Co." van pulls up, and the sliding door slides open, and these mall cops hop out, but the holdup guy and his accomplice (who look like Coolio and Jason Mewes from Clerks, respectively,) were in the van with them, having apparently paused in their getaway to hijack this van full of armed security guards, which they then executed right there in the parking lot for no reason or anything. And then they fled again.
At this point I was all wigged out, and decided to go home and drink to steady my nerves, but the only thing left in the coolers at the store were margarita- and fuzzy navel-flavored wine coolers, so I bought a bunch.
And I was back at the house, and Bobbi was telling me that my 9mm ammo can was missing, and the new hiree must have stolen it (apparently he'd been over to the house or I'd given him a ride to work once or something,) and I was all "No, no, maybe I just left it in so-and-so's trunk last time we went to the range." She was really agitated about it, but I was convinced it was no big deal. Which is odd for me, because the sudden absence of 500 rounds of 9mm is a very big deal to me, I can assure you, especially if one of the suspects in its absence is a dude who shot up the town right in front of me.
And so I went walking to the neighbor's house to see if I'd left it in the trunk of their car, and it started sprinkling rain, and then hailing; hailstones as big as a baby's fist. And it was at that point that a bunch of familiar-looking dudes in Elizabethan garb walked past, marveling at the hail, and I wondered what William Shakespeare and Sir Francis Drake were doing in my yard, and then I woke up.