Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Chuck Schumer to outlaw Jack & Coke!

Because the whole point of getting elected is so you can get your knickers in a twist about dumb stuff, certain .gov hirelings are apparently directing the FDA to take a break from their current ceaseless hounding of niccers and go after the evil people putting caffeine in alcoholic beverages:
Schumer said in the release that the ruling, when it occurs, "should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous toxic drinks."
And by "toxic drinks", he means "drinks that contain both alcohol and caffeine". You know, like that senatorial favorite, the Bacardi & Coke, or the Bailey's & coffee I enjoyed on the flight from Philly to Indianapolis...

Nothing personal, Chuck, but I hope you and everybody at the FDA die in a fire. Screaming.

I'd rather deal with jihadis than the TSA, and I'd rather deal with trichinosis than the FDA. This whole damned government is way the hell out of control.

35 comments:

Ancient Woodsman said...

With that kind of "savior" water will be his target if/when he finds out about hyponatremia - and that one can indeed die from drinking too much H2O. Rare, but possible.

Hey, Chuck: keep your laws out of my fridge.

og said...

As a onetime (and still, sometime) smoker, I can safely say that if a giant clown with an AK-47 stood between me and buying a pack of smokes, the clown is toast.

If you are a smoker, and you go to bed, and half asleep realize you don't have a wake-up butt, you will slip a pair of drawers on over your bathrobe and trudge through the most miserable of weather down to the closest smokeshop so you do have a wake up butt.

As for alcohol, I never saw the point, but I'm damned if I can find anything wrong with any adult enjoying an adult beverage or nine in a responsible manner.

We're never going to vote ourselves free of this bs. When will we start hoisting these fools by their own petards?

Apocalypso said...

Now, now. You know full well the .gov
has only your best interests in mind. And further more to disagree with our legally elected representatives is treasonous behaviour.

Oh!
And Think Of The Children!!!!!!

Cemetery's Gun Blob said...

When you read these articles, all you need is to replace and mentions of drinks, with guns, and it's the same script.

Anonymous said...

Remember, Chuckie told the newspapers that he had a "passion to legislate."

Behold the face of soft tyranny!

I, for one, do not welcome our lizard-faced overlord.

Shootin' Buddy

Greg in Allston said...

Viva la Cuba Libre! Viva la Revolucion!

Joanna said...

I only ever invented one drink, and that's a thermos of holiday spice coffee with two shots of Kahlua. I call it "Christmas Morning With The Folks." Guess that's going to be outlawed now.

Eh. I wasn't going to Christmas, anyway.

DirtCrashr said...

Rum and Coke - the nations of Cuba, Jamaica, Trinidad, the rest of the Caribbean - and Australia should demand a UN resolution against him.

Phssthpok said...

http://www.moviewavs.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=WAVS&type=Movies&movie=Star_Wars&quote=wookie.txt&file=wookie.wav

rick said...

The creation of Irish Coffee at the Buena Vista in San Francisco (!!) in 1952 was recently celebrated on November 10th.

See http://thebuenavista.com/irishcoffee.html

Back off, Chuckie.

TJIC said...

> Nothing personal, Chuck, but I hope you and everybody at the FDA die in a fire. Screaming.

Personally, I think politicians should be gagged before they're lit on fire.

I dislike noise pollution

Jay G said...

And, naturally, "Four Loko" is on the block to be banned in the Volksrepublik of MA.

Massachusetts: The birthplace, and graveyard, of liberty...

docjim505 said...

Caffeine to be declared an unsafe food additive???

No more morning coffee????

WTF????

Anonymous said...

I wonder which one Chucky would pick:
Death by hanging or a lifetime ban on giving interviews.

Gerry

Joanna said...

No more morning coffee????

Now that would have the proles up in arms quicker than anything, provided they could haul themselves out of bed in time. (It's hard to shout revolutionary slogans through a caffeine withdrawl headache.)

theirritablearchitect said...

Next on the list, the sugar-addicts.

Gotta prevent that adult onset diabetes, ya know.

Yeah, fuck 'em. Every last one of the do-gooders.

wv: fookee

GunRights4US said...

May the fleas of a thousand camels invest Chuck Schumer's most private parts!

DirtCrashr said...

Can't ban coffee, coffee has a lot of anti-oxidants and is good for you.

McVee said...

So is it caffeine, the combination of caffeine and alcohol or just the C&A drinks listed?

You know, between the TSA crap, the Chi-town BATF director prospect, Rangel* and his rules for thee but not for Me and now this Shite... are they trying to pick a fight?

*Though I'm so using the magna carta defense the next time I get pulled over.

Tango Juliet said...

Lotta people burning in fire, screaming today isn't there?

Ah well, who is John Galt?

Tango Juliet said...

And furthermore:

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. --
William Pitt

Take that Chucky!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.....despite the conflict it presents with the Constitution, there have been instances, or at least an instance, in which a state or states seceded from the union. Since the union took umbrage at that, some time later they were forcibly rejoined.

But has there been an instance in which the union rejected a state, and forced it to withdraw from the union? I suspect that may come under discussion as California's drain circling velocity decreases and it inevitably gets closer to the outlet, if only as a financial self-protection measure for the rest of the states, but why wait? We could practice the maneuver on New York right now. It would ruin Chuckie's day, not being part of the Senate anymore, and requiring him to get a passport to go to Jersey, but it'd be fun to watch.

Anonymous said...

Consider this another opportunity. Now you can make money trafficking in energy drinks, or something.

I wonder who this energy drink/alcoholic beverage manufacturer pissed off at the federal level. Did they fail to contribute to Chuck's campaign fund? Did they say something bad about communists? Inquiring minds want to know. -- Lyle

Just P said...

Anyone want to join the Loko Cartel?

Standard Mischief said...

The fucked up part is, for everything else that contains caffeine, the FDA completely looks the other way, classifying caffeine not as a psychoactive substance, but as a food additive that is "generally recognized as safe"

That and the fact that we can blame congress for all this alco-pop trend anyway. Remember wine coolers? Remember when they all suddenly turned into beer coolers (a/k/a "flavored malt beverages")? Remember fucking Zima?

That was Congress. They started the whole ball rolling when they went and raised the federal excise tax on wine to $1.07 a gallon back in 1991.

the pistolero said...

I, for one, do not welcome our lizard-faced overlord.

...at least not if he has a D by his name.

Ken said...

rrraaannngggh ahhrroooooogh wuuunngh

(brandishes bowcaster)

George said...

Once again, that fearful battle cry:

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."

Regards.

rickn8or said...

Chuckie may have "a passion for legislating", but he's stopped legislating and started meddling.

And I want to be there the first time someone tells this red-headed lawyer friend of mine she can't have a Red Bull & vodka. "Blood, guts & feathers" I'm thinkin'.

Mulliga said...

I'd call it Orwellian, but even the Party allowed the Proles to stay liquored up with Victory Gin and cheap beer.

Cybrludite said...

(Bleep)Chuck Schumer(D-NY) (Bleep) him up the (bleep) with a burning supertanker. Sideways. Without lube.

Jeffersonian said...

Has anyone here *not* read Unintended Consequences?

I feel Ross' treatment had artistic merit. That it showed real creativity.

Stretch said...

I'd like a tox screen on all 535 congresscritters before they're allowed to vote on this measure.

w/v = "horde" Them what carries torches and pitchforks.

Bruce H. said...

No more morning coffee????

The caffeine in coffee is not an additive. It growed there.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

Schumer's out to protect our precious bodily fluids. If PGA and rainwater is good enough for him, it ought to be good enough for anyone, right?

capcha is 'terselog'. Wow.