Monday, November 22, 2010

The world's smallest record player... playing "Here's For The TSA Agents."

Apparently, after a hard day of turning people into amateur porno models and groping crotches for God, Mom, Apple Pie, and Freedom they go home and cry themselves to sleep because people say unkind things to them.

I swear, it's like the punchline to that awful old joke: "No, he broke his neck when he fell out of a guard tower, drunk."


dave said...

Good! It's working! Maybe they'll start refusing to do them next, or start looking for new jobs.

Bram said...

I won't be flying with the family for the forseeable future. A crack like that about my daughter would provoke a very bad reaction.

Divemedic said...

I distinctly remember telling my Republican friends that they would be sorry they gave George Bush all of those shiny new powers, just as soon as the next Democrat President began using them. At the time, I was told that we needed to grant the President those powers, so he could protect us or something.

I must be clairvoyant or something.

BobG said...

The problems with the TSA, and with the police around the country these days is starting to remind me of the Stanford Experiment, if any of you remember that bit of research. The original experiment had to do with prisons, but the results tend to apply to people in other positions of authority, in my opinion.

Dave_H said...

"I should not have to go home and cry after a day of honorably serving my country."

I LOL'ed at that so hard I couldn't breathe. Honorably serving you country? Heh. If I could talk to that person I'd tell them as much. You violate the fourth amendment hundreds of times per day. Willingly, in exchange for the illusion of security.
There is no credible argument I can see that a virtual strip search or someone searching your groin doesn't equal an unreasonable search. Of course if you think you're smarter than Ben Franklin on the subject, go right ahead.

Anonymous said...

Dave_H got there first, but in reference to his quote, if that guy wants to honorably serve his country he can join the Marines. (Or any of the other services, I just happen to pick that one first.)

The rest of it sounds an awful lot like either "I was only following orders," or something one of the Vogon guards said.


Joanna said...

The rest of it sounds an awful lot like either "I was only following orders," or something one of the Vogon guards said.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly ...

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say that Divemedic has an excellent point, though I would offer the defense that many of us "Bushies" had the same misgivings; our preference was for an El Al-type security regime, NOT for using the WoT as an excuse to trample the Constitution. BTW, where are all the libs on this matter? You know who I mean: the pro-abortion crowd who scream "keep your laws off my body!" and the anti-Bushies who ranted that his abuses of civil liberties were totally unnecessary because terrorism isn't "an existential threat" to our country.

What SHALL we do? Given that the high-speed, low-drag, super-dooper body scanners won't pick up a panty bomb, groping DOES seem to be the only way to find such devices, no? And would we be any more comfortable about the prospect of having the same blue-gloved morons who currently stick their hands in our privates sticking their dullard noses into our business with whatever preflight "interviews" DHS can devise?

chiefjaybob said...

"If something doesn’t change in the next two weeks I don’t know how much longer I can withstand this taunting. I go home and I cry. I am serving my country, I should not have to go home and cry after a day of honorably serving my country."

Hmmm. Don't know how much longer you can take it? Well, here's a tissue, jackwagon. Now, go find a job that producing something or gives a valuable service, you gink.

Tam said...


"BTW, where are all the libs on this matter?"

Are you serious? Have you not turned on the TeeWee or surfed anyplace outside of the right half of the blogosphere? This thing's pretty much fully bipartisan.

Andy said...

Thanks for that last Tam. Both sides of the divide are rife with whiners, and there's nothing like a tax funded grope to bring it out

Don't get the Auschwitz joke analogy though...

Comrade Misfit said...

Tam is correct. Docjim505 could go to any of the pasta bazillion liberal blogs; nobody is standing up for the TSA on this.

But back to Tam's post, if the TSA guys want to hear some music, may I suggest "Cry Me a River"?

Dave_H said...

I don't spend much time on the far left websites, but that is good to hear. The public proclamations of scorn for this activity need to prolonged, loud, and bipartisan.

theirritablearchitect said...

If the asshat TSA morons want to know what it's like to be, ya know,actually butthurt, I'd be more than happy to get with the program.

wv: flask

We could start with that and go from there!

Wade said...

It's such a shame that the government forces people to do these jobs. Oh wait...

global village idiot said...

This story has merit as far as gauging when something's gonna "give" - either a passenger or a TSA gate-rapist has enough of the situation and does something everyone will later regret - and the whole situation goes all Moon Is A Harsh Mistress-like.

My money is this weekend.

If someone's trying to get me to feel sympathy for the gropers, though, it fails utterly.

No one drafted these people who are "just doing a job." So they feel bad about the abuse they're getting? Serves 'em right. I stopped having any sympathy for them after the stories I failed to hear about TSA workers resigning over their ethical/moral/legal misgivings.

The fact that they still come to work tells me either of two things:
1) TSA management purposely hires people unwilling or unable to exercise sound moral reasoning
2) They value their jobs more than their consciences.

Not sure at all which is worse.

wv: excoma - the state the sheep of America seem to find themselves in all of a sudden.


Anonymous said...

GVI, actually the mass exodus was in 2002/2003 or so. Literally every decent person I knew who worked for the TSA (mainly retired .mil or older types who saw an opportunity to help) quit in disgust. The mouth breathers I had to deal with at ATL made McDonalds workers look efficient.

Al T.

Anonymous said...

TSA pat downs put me in mind of the Chuck Berry song. My ding a ling, my ding a ling, they want to play with my ding a ling....Or not.

bluesun said...

"Don't start none, won't be none."

Anonymous said...

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. John Adams.
I think the most disturbing aspect of all this is 200 years ago we had Adams, Washington, Jefferson, Monroe, ETC.. Now we have Carter, Clinton, Bush,Obama and God forbid maybe Clinton II or Palin.
I did witness a TSA agent at ORD who changed from the ID checker station to the groper station when a young boy went through. All excited and everything. Right there in front of God and everybody. Thought about making a stink but figured I'd be the one in trouble.
Love to get that guy alone for a few minutes. Come the revolution - he's mine.

Tam said...


"Don't get the Auschwitz joke analogy though..."

The imaginary dead granddad elicits about the same amount of sympathy from my as the whining jumped-up mall cops of the TSA.

Cybrludite said...


"Actually, my grandfather died at Auschwitz."
What, they gassed him?"
"Nah, he was drinking on duty, and fell out the guard tower..."

Joseph said...

No. You know what? Fuck you. You don't get to bitch about the fact that you choose to become employed by an agency that requires you to commit Federal felonies (see 18 U.S.C. § 241), and the people you are committing those crimes against dislike it. You can resign in protest, or you can go shove your head in a crack-house's toilet until you drown, you syphilitic ponce. "Honorably serving," my ass.

Mr.Wolf said...

O.K. I wasn't going to post here again, but this is too important to sit around sulking in a tent.

If someone commits a crime, what do you do? A) Don't provoke them, they might get really nasty. B) Show how really cool you are by making a smart remark as they walk off, smirking, with your wallet. C) YELL FOR A COP. (We'll ignore 'D' for now, you are in a crowded area with cops everywhere.)

Wasn't hard, was it?

This is your Spartacus moment, America. Where you show that you still have what we all admire you for. How many perverts can there be in one airport? Pervert One commits a sexual assault upon Passenger One. Passenger One screams for a cop, and keeps screaming until the cop arrives. Passenger One identifies Pervert One, and makes official complaint of sexual assault. Cop pulls out victim and offender, and starts the paperwork.

Pervert Two moves forward, assaults Passenger Two, who screams for cop.
Repeat as long as necessary. How long would it be before all perverts had fifty court cases to defend? How long would it be before they all decided to stop assaulting people?

You are Americans. Free people. You are many, and they are few. Do you have ANY IDEA how pathetic this whole thing seems to the rest of us?
They are, you say, sexually assaulting you. And you are taking it. Not while chained in dark cellars in secret police prisons, but in the light of day, with law officers within call.
Brave Americans of the past, who risked death rather than bow their heads to injustice, are watching you from the shadows. Exactly how proud do you think they are of you today?