Friday, November 26, 2010

Speaking of completely overreacting...

Jay G links to a tale of a Massachusetts schoolteacher who feels so threatened by the weaponization potential of the basic No. 2 pencil that pupils are cautioned to leave them at home on pain of suspension.

That's right: If you need a writing stick at school, one will be provided for you, Junior Citizen.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that if pencils give you the shizzling drits, you should perhaps seek work someplace other than a schoolroom.

Just to help the more easily confused, here's a quick study guide...

Eberhard Faber Mongol Pencils:

Genghis Khan, Mongol conqueror of Asia:

The latter is the one known for causing disruptions in the classroom...


Steve Skubinna said...

Maybe that teacher is a graduate of Faber College?

NotClauswitz said...

People are always complaining about how we can ZOMG *!DESTROY ALL life on EARTH!* - *cough* or at least Human life anyhow, and mainly at least the ones you don't like who aren't in the special Vegan Book Club. Well it's been tried before, dozens of times, and Mongol Joe was one of those who made the effort - but it's hard stacking up the skulls in pyramids and a guy's arms get tired.

Anonymous said...

I do wish I had a hard time believing this.


OrangeNeck said...

Yeah, but they're both yellow-skinned, and that makes them dangerous (oooooh). LOL

Eck! said...

Wow, when I went to school if you could not produce two pencils and a working pen you were deemed unequipped and given a zero for the class.

Now they commend you for diligence and give you one!

The stupid will truly inherit the earth as those will be the only ones left.


Mark Alger said...

As I see it, the central reason we must suffer these people among us is that they have not been chased from the public square with whips of the scorn they so rightfully deserve.


Crotalus (Don't Tread on Me) said...

Seriously? This teacher is freaked out over the word "mongol" on a PENCIL????

And she's still teaching our kids????

Damn! Just... Damn!

Justthisguy said...

Does anyone here have a copy of the audio of G.Gordon Liddy describing how to kill a man with a sharp pencil? I think G. Gordon would have you come up from below: Ms'self, I would go through the eye socket, and wave it around in there. Your victim might live, but he'd never think again.

Not that the little kids are likely to know about that kind of stuff; the schoolteachers are just scared of sharp pointy things, with no actual knowledge of how sharp pointy things can be effectively wielded.

McVee said...

What Mark said.

Also, it's got teh lead and the ePA say teh lead is bad.

(yeah I know most modern pencils don't have, but it fits the narrative) :)

Living in Babylon said...

Someone needs to send her a link to some of those neato "assault pens" made by Cold Steel and the like.

John said...

The Frightened People of the United Sates want to give back the Declaration, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights and Common Sense. It's just too damn scary being a free citizen.

the general class of Educator appears to be both a philosophical leader with a herd of followers towards this political inclination.

while I know some righteous brethern and sisters among the Profession, they are a minority, As well, the material and curriculum with which they are saddled is pre-channeled well to the Left.

It's no wonder that the conservatively oriented private school sector appears to be successfully competing with the Left Wing Brainwashers.

Frightened people are only comfortable with other frightened people,and apparently feel the need to extend fright as far as possible in the population.

No, I don't have any solution,or at least any that are unutterable or publishable.

"erpuckle" -- close enough to my sentiments

Don said...

1. Wait . . . is Crotalus serious? I can't always tell who's being ironical anymore. Just to be safe, I'll point out that the Mongol thing was Tamara's joke, not the teacher's.

2. What's the matter with you people, none of you saw Batman Begins?

3. I have to be quiet now, because I work in a school where pencils are allowed in the classroom, but not in the halls or the bathrooms, and it's precisely because they got tired of kids threatening to gank each other with them.
But my school is . . . special. The technical term is "alternative," as in "the law says we have to provide an alternative to permanent expulsion and/or jail."

Tam said...


"The technical term is "alternative," as in "the law says we have to provide an alternative to permanent expulsion and/or jail.""

I LOL'ed. :D

Stretch said...

The hardest job in the world? Writer for The Onion.
How can you parody this culture? What is satire in The Onion one day is official school/state/federal policy the next.

w/v= "nounts" A sentence must have nounts and verbals.

Crotalus (Don't Tread on Me) said...

Sorry, Don; I was serious. I didn't realize that it was satire at the first.

Tam said...


"Sorry, Don; I was serious. I didn't realize that it was satire at the first."

That what was satire?

This isn't satire; pencils were actually banned because they could be used as weapons.

OrangeNeck said...

Next thing you know, they'll ban shoes with laces, because, you know, they could be used to strangle someone to death. Velcro for everyone!!

Joseph said...

Let me guess. The teacher moonlights as a TSA inspector.

theirritablearchitect said...

Isn't it pleasant, watching Rome burn, folks?

Hoffsoft said...

I too ordered a S&W M&P "Tactical Pen" just because I can. The M&P seems to be a bit longer than their "standard model tactical pen", and I want to p*ss them off with as much tacticalness as possible.

Rome is indeed burning, but I firmly believe it's only the blue states (such as the one that produced this idiocy) where the flames will destroy every last trace of their existence. Red states will do fine on their own.