Thursday, March 17, 2011

I'm going to sound like a pinko saying this...

The lights came on early at Rosehome Cottage this morning. After about five minutes of local news, I cut the TeeWee over to CNN because I wanted to see what was going on over in Japan.

I caught the last half of CNN World 1. Things were bad for the rebels in Libya, efforts were still ongoing to try and get things under control at the Fukushima plant, and rescue efforts in northern Japan were being hampered by a snowstorm that was making life miserable for the survivors. A camera crew hiked into the wreckage of a village that was cut off by the tsunami and hadn't been reached by SAR teams yet; it was eerie. The talking heads were some Indian chick out of London and a generically swarthy dude out of Abu Dhabi, both with the sort of English accent that causes my American-raised subconscious to automatically add 10 IQ points to the speaker.

The show ended, there was a commercial break, and then CNN American Morning came on. The IQ in the room dropped like the water level in a Japanese harbor at five minutes to three on Friday afternoon. The screen was instantly full of pneumatic blondes, all chattering "zomg! Teh nukes!!!1!one!" I walked off in disgust after about five minutes. I can hear the TV in the other room and, 37 minutes later, they are still on this story.

What kills me is that this is the same network, just two different shows with two different target demographics: One that gets its weather report in degrees Celcius and the other of which is apparently a herd of easily-panicked morons who like cleavage.

God help me, the older I get, the righter I think they are.

29 comments:

North said...

A close friend of mine watches BBC news in order to get news without it being all whored up with Holywood hype.

I'm warming up to the idea.

TJIC said...

> two different target demographics: One that gets its weather report in degrees Celcius and the other of which is apparently a herd of easily-panicked morons who like cleavage.

But what network is for those of us who prefer degrees Kelvin ** AND ** cleavage?

Tam said...

North,

"A close friend of mine watches BBC news in order to get news without it being all whored up with Holywood hype."

News is going to come with a pinko, anti-American slant anyway, I may as well get it delivered by someone with an above-room-temperature IQ...

North said...

That is exactly the right approach. Have the sense when watching a variety of news sources to see the news, not the political bias or "look at me" glitter that is presented.

Here is where I say something about wheat and chaff.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

My truck gets 50,000 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I like it!

You kids and your metric system. The whole world has gone to hell since they let that Elvis on the TeeVee.

McVee said...

I guess it's better than "newspeak" and no cleavage.... :)

Anonymous said...

I work for a British company and hear all the European accents on a daily basis. After a while, the "Euro/Brit Accent equals Smart" thing wears off. Faster when the speaker demonstrates the opposite is true on a regular basis.

K said...

I love cleavage, with or without the accent. Maybe it's just me...

Bram said...

I was trying to watch CNN yesterday too. The screen said "Very High Radiation in Japan". It was the equivalent of a weather forecast of "Really Warm in America."

How about you pretend I can handle a measurement of radiation at a given distance from the plant?

roland said...

I get most of my news from the dead tree magazine The Economist. Dry delivery, no hysteria.

Joseph said...

I get my news at the strip club. Sure there isn't any actual news, just like TV, but the cleavage is MUCH better.

Tam said...

Joseph,

Pending late entries, I think you may have just won the internets. :D

Anonymous said...

I like cleavage too, but log on here for the insightful snark and analysis, despite the recurring lack of obvious cleavage. That is just how good Tam is at drawing an audience.

McVee said...

Ya know, regarding Joseph's strip club comment...he may be on to something. Maybe beer goggles are apt for the 6 o clock news...
Best

Phillip said...

@Anonymous 8:35

Does that mean that if Tam gives cleavage with the snark and analysis she can start charging for it?

Oh, and I see I'm not the only one that decided to comment just to say "I LIKE cleavage".

rickn8or said...

Joseph, your logic is impeccable.

And yes I like cleavage too.

robnrun said...

I get my world news from BBC and the Economist. The latter does have publicly stated opinions on politics, but is also capable of admitting when they were wrong, and why they were wrong.

I find that those two actually report the news, whether it is good or bad for the US. I have yet to find an American news source whose politics were not immediately obvious and infecting their 'news'.

Curiously, When I lived in the UK, I found that BBC's regional, as opposed to international, coverage tended to be, or least be seen as, more agenda driven, much as the US networks are.

Money talks, in the US the networks are inextricably connected to political demographics, in the UK BBC's regional/local coverage is also done with an eye on the politics. The international issues are generally not held to be of concern for the local MP, so they might as well report them accurately. Unlike the US, where every Congressman has a public position on foreign policy.

BobG said...

I never look at TV for news; I'd rather find it on the internet, where I can compare sources and I don't have to put up with "news celebrities".

"Just the facts, ma'am.""

Anonymous said...

"But what network is for those of us who prefer degrees Kelvin ** AND ** cleavage?"

That would also be CNN American Morning -- there are no degrees Kelvin and the cleavage is quite something.

(Apologies)

Lergnom said...

Degrees Kelvin and cleavage?
Try nakednews, if they're still around.

elliot said...

I love the word cleave. It's one of the few words that also embodies its opposite. It can mean both "split" and "stick together." How can you not love a word like that?

Anonymous said...

I see no reason why it's necessary to drag cleavage into this. Are you trying to throw everyone into a panic?

Sincerely,
Mike James (moron)

CTone said...

Y'all actually turn to the news to get the news? All mass media that I'm aware of gets lumped in with Sun, Star, and Weekly World News.

"Hmmmm, they found a B1 on the moon flown by Bat Boy; and daggum, I better head back to the health and remedy isle and get me some iodine. . ."

It's all just fodder for bloggers these days.

Jim said...

I prefer google news; same story from multiple sources, which tends to balance out some of the spin. Also, convenient access to cleavage. (Or so I've heard. Yeah, that's it.)

Jim

Bubblehead Les. said...

All I know is, is this damn Japanese Disaster Crap is keeping us in the Dark about the REAL News of the Day, and that is what the heck did Charlie Sheen pick on His NCAA BasketHoop Bracket?

DaddyBear said...

If I want news with cleavage, I'll watch Telemundo while reading news sites on the InterWebs.

Anonymous said...

so, on the Libya issue.

it seems like Mufti Man is taking a page from the Kings Of France and using artillery and airpower, both of which require professionals and expensive outlays, to smash his unruly soi-distant peasants.

besides potential US intervention, is there anything the rebels can do to negate this besides trying to sucker the loyalist Libyan troops and mercs into urban combat?

honestly, I can't think of anything else.

rickn8or said...

I just appreciate Tam's sacrifice on our behalf. I mean she watches the news so we don't HAVE to.

VanderDouchen said...

"...the righter they are."

I was an early adopter of this thinking, and I believe it more and more as the years take their toll on my ancient body: Cleavage is the bestest. Yeah, cleavage!