Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Too bad you can't synthesize common sense.

Unc notes that there's a push to ban some kind of "bath salts" (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) that are really just a sort of snortable upper that isn't on any controlled substance list yet, kind of like the "incense" that also happens to mimic the effects of smoking a bowl that is the current bĂȘte noire of county commissions and state governments across our fair land.

The problem with this approach is this: There is a lot of money in selling people a buzz. That will never change. They can synthesize new intoxicating substances faster than you can synthesize new laws, plus the old stuff is still being sold and is now more profitable than ever. The money that flows through the hands of the dope cartels is measured in numbers not usually used outside of astronomical observatories or Bill Gates' accountant's office.

This whole Political-Narcotic complex does nothing but buy machine guns for police departments, encourage idiots to do riskier and riskier things in an attempt to get high, line the pockets of defense attorneys, and make it harder for me to get better when I catch a cold.

Cut it the heck out, already.

23 comments:

DaveFla said...

When first passed, I hadn't much of an opinion of the (original) USA Patriot Act, not having paid much attention. Then I happened to meet my best friend over dinner, where he explained that pseudo-ephedrine was now to be found behind the counter and sold only after the recording of one's state ID. Apparently the terrorists had been running meth labs everywhere, eh? Fortunately, I seem to have less need of decongestants these days.

Anonymous said...

I have an idea. Let's have a state sponsored high. Find a drug that gives you an unbelievably good feeling that is 100% lethal. Give it free to everyone stupid to trade their life for one really good trip.
It would be a lot more efficient than the current situation where they kill themselves over a few years, it would make things a lot safer for the rest of us, and it would improve society.

Living in Babylon said...

To me, the best solution the bath salt gap is to send squads of heavily armed police into those bawdy "spa houses" and "Bed, Bath & Beyond" joints to murder the peddlers of this dangerous, slightly dangerous filth.

Preceded by flashbangs of course. You never know when those fiendish swedish massage therapists are going to try some shit.

Living in Babylon said...

Hee hee hee. Dangerous, slightly dangerous filth.

I blame substances.

Divemedic said...

Outlawing safer, less problematic drugs like marijuana increases their price and makes the synthesis of the more dangerous ones more lucrative. If getting high using safer alternatives were possible, the more expensive and more dangerous synthetics would not be needed.

Joshkie said...

I wish we could distil commonsense down to an elixir of duh.

Oh wait that would get band to.

Sigh....
Josh :-(

Anonymous said...

"line the pockets of defense attorneys"

I object! Ummm, er, no comment.

Shootin' Buddy

og said...

I wish they'd ban flatulence. The black market would make me a millionaire.

before anyone comments on there not being a demand, explain to me why we've put up with the stench of our political system for all these years, hmmm?

WV: Fookerse Them fookerse are too damned stupid to understand this.

Anonymous said...

My favorite are the fools who huff paint. If I knew someone who did that, I'd buy the paint for them. Self correcting problem....

Al T.

Montie said...

Saw a news article on one of the local TV stations about the bath salts problem just last night. Let's see, this week they have so far covered State legistative efforts to ban smoking jimson weed, a kid's overdose on "fake pot". The arrest of a stepfather who provided said "fake pot", and a list of already banned "fake pot" substances, of which this wasn't one.

We (law enforcement) have got enough to worry about without adding this stuff into the mix. there will always be someone stupid enough to be the first one to try something and if it turns out to be intoxicating & not TOO deadly, word spreads quickly.

staghounds said...

Divemedic-

Which is why the outlawing of wine caused the developement of gin, illegal gin led to opium, and the ban on opium gave us heroin?

Anonymous said...

If my company was contracted to discharge the duties of Maximum Citizen Shareholder Engineer for the greater North American Freehold of Textennassota Amalgamated's properties, I'd change company policy to allow rental homestead dwellers to consume recreational mood-altering green toxins like tobacco and various coca/hemp byproducts in the comfort of their units pending payment of a reasonable socioeconomic consequence deposit (don't worry, If you've paid your rent you'll get your deposit back). Of course to remain profitable our various security departments would have to coordinate and tighten up on the late payment lifestyle vote...That should, in short order, dissuade the unproductive employees and division heads from continuing to insisting that survival of the laziest and/or the blessed science of 'freeshitology', are lucrative departmental mission statements for the North American Freehold of Textennassota Amalgamated family of companies.

Upon completion of the contract I'd give every sitting member who voted "yeah" for my company on the Sacred Cow Demolitions Association Board, three wookie suit grade hippie scalps and a sack of genuine pre 1964 dimes.

Anonymous said...

@anon 10:10...

Can we give your new one-way-trip concoction to those "state sponsors" instead?

Talk about improving society and making things safer for the rest of us...

AT

DaddyBear said...

Could be worse. Jigsaw did a post about how certain areas of Australia are off limits to normal gasoline. Seems the aboriginal population learned to huff gasoline from GI's in WWII, and it became an endemic problem. Non-huffable gasoline was developed and mandated for these areas, to the point of making visitors publicly empty their gas tanks and fill up with the non-huffable stuff.

Government can always find another reason to be stupid.

Anonymous said...

can we just make 'stupid' a death penalty offense?

Anonymous said...

I thought we'd have learned something from Prohibition, but alas, no. Well; the government learned that there is money and power to be had from keeping a popular substance illegal. So someone did learn something after all. Which is nice. -- Lyle

Anonymous said...

First they came for ...

Then...

Then...

Then they came for my bath salts.
_________________________________

If this keeps up, next they will try to get my Schweppes.

Schweppes makes me feel all Britishish and imperialistish and maddogtistic.

They'll take it from my CDH's.

Anonymous said...

K2, K3, K4, bath salts, etc, just make them all illegal if they are synthesized in any way.
Then just legalize pot, regulate it like tobacco, collect billions in taxes, support more pot smoking welfare cases with those tax dollars, who use welfare money to buy more pot, collect more taxes, repeat ad nauseam (plus it would support more pot farmers, btw I've always wanted to be a farmer...). Sounds like the greatest perpetual motion machine ever known to man. Come'on, let's get this machine started!!!

Joshkie said...

Anon 3:25 -

Huh... Give me 3 hours and a dictionary and I'll see if I can come up with a response.
;-)

Anon 4:47 -

Sometimes it already is.

Josh

docjim505 said...

Tam - This whole Political-Narcotic complex does nothing but buy machine guns for police departments, encourage idiots to do riskier and riskier things in an attempt to get high, line the pockets of defense attorneys, and make it harder for me to get better when I catch a cold.

No, no, NO! See, people do foolish things that harm themselves and may harm others, especially women and children. So, we've GOT to pass laws to stop them doing those things! It's all so simple:

STUPID PEOPLE + ALTRUISTIC LAWS + (MORE HEAVILY-ARMED POLICE x (MORE JAILS + MORE COURTROOMS + MORE LAWYERS) ^ MORE ALTRUISTIC LAWS) = PARADISE ON EARTH

Geez, it's bad enough that I have to explain this to people, but some of them refuse to believe it!

;-)

Lewis said...

Yeah those damn druggies, I said, sipping on my third cup of good stout coffee.

Weak willed dope fiends, I said, as I lit my first of the day, lawfully purchased after assessment of state and federal duties and the display of state photographic i.d. to comply with state and federal regulations.

Hippie scum, I said, as I poured a couple fingers of Glenlivet and added just a splash of branch water, to open up the bouquet.

Can't get by without their high, I said, as I took my Paxil for anxiety, my Nexium for my heartburn, my Metamucil for my indigestion and my Cialis for wimpy Willie

Justthisguy said...

Unfortunately, I have to live in the county in which the jenkem scare was first promulgated, by our wonderful Sheriff's office.

Michael Z. Williamson has a lot of bad things to say about our deppities on his web site, and I believe him. He has exempted me from being chipped when he accedes to his rightful dictatorship.

I think he will require me to act as throttle-man on the chipper when we run the Florida voters and Florida LEOs through it.

Robert said...

Lewis @ 1020: Man, you really know how to live! Have you considered making a how-to DVD? I'd like to pre-order one, thank you.