So, on the weekend of the tenth anniversary of the start of the Global War On a Noun, my fair city is unveiling, not a giant bronze equestrian statue of a Green Beret on horseback, trampling Taliban bodies 'neath his hooves, or a huge mural of a shroud-wrapped bin Laden being sent to sleep with the fishes off the fantail of the Carl Vinson, but a pair of rusty, charred beams more appropriate to an Al Qaeda Victory Monument.
Apparently, NYC's been handing these things out for the asking, and if Shelbyville has a WTC girder, then Springfield needs one, too.
And, this being America in the 21st Century, we just went ahead and erected the monument and are now shilling to pay for it, since we bought it on credit.
And, since the dedication ceremony will be taking place on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, I'm sure the local police will be at Threat Level Plaid, complete with bomb-sniffing dogs and everything. And this being postmodern America, I'm sure police K-9 handlers have all taken a one-hour block of instruction on how to not offend Muslims with their dogs, which are, after all, haraam.
And meanwhile, the networks play footage of collapsing buildings over and over and over again, as viewers are invited to wriggle in their hair shirts and remember "New York or Nairobi, Bali or Belfast, Mumbai or Manila, or Lahore or London."
It's like a giant multi-layered wedding cake of everything that's wrong right now.