Thursday, September 01, 2011

Meanwhile, in Lafayette...

Lafayette, Indiana, home of the low-speed riding lawnmower chase and rogue heifers that attack cops on the city streets, may be a sleepy small city on the tranquil banks of the Wabash, but it sure is good for providing the occasional story to spice up a slow news day.

The latest would be the news that the town had to cancel a planned parade for a local wounded veteran when the city fathers received the news that the police were currently giving him a parade down cell block A for having
...arrested [him] on suspicion of criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon, a Class D felony, and carrying a handgun without a permit, a Class A misdemeanor.
It seems he was involved in an argument with some dudes outside a bar (this is my shocked face) and decided to emphasize some of his debating points by discharging a handgun, first into the air and then into the ground. Something struck one of the dudes in the chest and, next thing you know, instead of riding on a float with Miss Soybean Festival 2010, our protagonist found himself riding in a Crown Vic with Officer Krupke.

Inside sources claim that the weapon in question, and I know you'll find this as surprising as I do, was a Taurus Judge. Maybe the boys from Brazil can use this in their advertising?

18 comments:

Bob said...

Hey, he ain't their judge. He's their judgment. He's their executioner.

*drops Marksman's Medal*

Sorry, read too many Donald Hamilton books when I was young.

Bram said...

PTSD!

It's our new get-out-of-jail card. I know guys who have done worse and got a slap on the wrist. After WWII the cops or Judge would make it go away quietly for a wounded combat vet - now we have to use a medical excuse.

Jim said...

Bob,

Too many Matt Helm books? Not possible. Where else can you learn that all it takes to win a World War is a badass attitude and a Colt Woodsman? :)

Jim

Bob said...

Oops, I meant Don Pendleton. Darn it.

Jim, haven't read the Matt Helms books, but saw the execrable Dean Martin movies. Travis McGee was always my go-to guy for paperback fiction, although I went through an Executioner period.

rickn8or said...

I guess timing IS everything...

Jim said...

Bob -- Casting Martin as Matt Helm should have been punished with slow and lingering death, like thinking of DeCaprio as Travis McGee.

I recommend the Hamilton novels. They're just puerile enough to take us back to our neatest adolescent fantasies. Knives, guns, real Commie villains, and seduction. Besides, Hamilton actually knew enough about weapons to get some gun magazine gigs.

Jim

RobertM said...

I lost count of the fail. It is unfortunate that a lot of people translate 'wounded veteran' to 'hell of a good guy.' Sadly, it ain't so.

Brad K. said...

@ Tam,

Golly, I hope he didn't put Ebony grips on that gun. He could be in trouble with wildlife and game for importing protected wood. Not to make a federal case (poaching by proxy, dealing in banned goods) out of it or anything.

Matt G said...

Oof. And they shall know us by our brand snobbery?

Tam said...

No, they shall know us by our making fun of those who confuse .410 shotshells with a defensive caliber. ;)

Seriously, Matt, Taurus offers a medium-frame 5-shot .45LC revolver, the Model 450, and this Judge abortion outsells it by an order of magnitude. That says nothing good about the knowledge base of the general gun-owning (note that I did not say "shooting") public.

Anonymous said...

Only shotgun Murder I've had was a .410 deer slug.

Maybe if you just stuffed your Taurus Judge with deer slugs, but then there's that embarrassment factor when all the other kids in the cell block learn what you did.

And I mean embarrassment over having a Taurus, not the shooting.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

People get killed all the time with .22s, but that doesn't make it a good choice for self-defense.

Sigivald said...

There's nothing embarrassing about a Taurus.

Just a Judge (as anything but a toy).

Kristopher said...

I wouldn't mind owning a Circuit Judge ( .410 revolver carbine ) as a neat small game harvesting tool.

But for defense? Nope.

Bram said...

Had a friend who came home last year with a Silver Star - Hit multiple parked cars after a long session in a bar. Shot a hole in his ceiling and took a swing at the cops.

Post Traumatic Stress diagnosis, buddies (some of who owe him their lives) in dress uniforms in the court room and all was forgiven.

Funny part was that everyone who knew him 20 years ago when we were deploying for the first Gulf War knows he hasn't changed a bit.

An Ordinary American said...

Bram,

What's your point other than to rail on guys who went and got shot at or got shot and who came home to a screwed up VA with little to no outprocessing in terms of readjusting back to society.

Don't know if you were around or in uniform in the 70's and 80's like some of us, but we "soldier-boys" weren't real popular with the general public. Anytime we defended ourselves, we got labeled as a "psycho vet" or "war mongerer" or something else just as pleasant.

I'll damn sure give a fellow vet a break before I will some asswipe lowlife bubba who just wants to see how tough he is by starting shit--then gets a bit surprised when he gets fucked up beyond repair.

--AOA

Anonymous said...

Somebody watched Three Kings and thought Spike Jonze was a role model?

Ted said...

My current flatmate has one of those Judge thingies, and he bought it for pretty much its intended purpose. Well, both intended purposes. When he bought it, he lived in the desert, and used to do quite a bit of high desert camping. The Judge is a decent snake popper. Now that he lives on the gulf coast, its intended purpose is firing out over the water because you like the noise.