Now, you know I'm pretty ambivalent on the death penalty. On the one hand, there are definitely some crimes from which there's no coming back and being allowed to join society's reindeer games ("Yes, your honor, I killed and ate those kids, but I was feeling a little bipolar that day and I'm all better now...") On the other hand, it depends on us having the right guy, 'cause you don't get any do-overs with capital punishment, and you know as well as I do that the government couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.
But there's no question in this case that the government has fingered the correct dude. I mean, he shot his soon-to-be-ex-wife and his about-to-be-former-brother-in-law right there in the courtroom and was found in the courthouse's basement with his baby daughter in his arms and a deputy's bullet in his chitterlings. It doesn't get much more red-handed than that.
So, anyway, dude's on death row and, like most guys facing the big sleep, he's taken a new-found interest in that ol'-time religion, which in his case means Islam, and he wants halal meals. And I'm thinking "Okay, what's the big deal? They've got kosher meals for Jewish murderers and vegetarian meals for killer hippies, so why not? We tend to go out of our way to recognize religious foibles of convicts, short of providing virgins and obsidian knives on the Solstice. I'm sure they have Mass for the mackerel snappers."
Apparently my opinion is an uncommon one among people who I guess are theoretically, nominally my kinda-sorta allies.
I decided to risk a few IQ points and read some comments. I was not disappointed. Or rather I was, but I wasn't surprised to be.
"james" suggests we:
"Feed him sawdust mixed with pig entrails and blood."There's the love of Christ shining through for you. Meanwhile "Nat's daughter" suggests:
"You can't make this shit up! The nerve of this POS. Charles M. you are sooo right, they are laughing at us and who can blame them? I say we put him on a hunger strike and for his last meal, have a Rabbi serve him a BLT. Then we soak a bullet in pig blood and have a female soldier pull the trigger and put him out of our misery."Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, young lady? Jeffery Dahmer didn't spend that much time and effort planning his dinner dates; I'm sure Nat is proud of you.
Finally, I read the comment signed "Florida Infidel", who offered the following
"Oh, good Lord, enough!! Notice how the savage is not worried one whit that he won't go to heaven for murdering his wife and brother in law, only for eating non-halal meals! That's rich! I guess when you are in service to Satan, double murder is just no big deal, but making sure innocent animals suffer the maximum amount possible while being killed for meat is a great way to earn those heavenly brownie points/gold stars!! The only reward this unrepentant double-murderer is getting is a one way ticket to hell, and I say no more coddling of him while he still here as a disgusting parasite on the taxpayers of Ohio! It's enough that he is obviously very well-fed on vegetarian and non-pork meals. Screw him and his demands!"That was the end of my comment-reading experiment. If I had my way, people who didn't make use of paragraph breaks would burn in hell for all eternity, because they are obviously in service to Satan. Also, we should ration exclamation points.
You know, these are the people I'm going to have to shoot in the back the day after the revolution...