Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Since Mohammed couldn't swing the airfare to the mountain...

In eastern Ohio some dude had an exotic game preserve on his little suburban ranch, with lions and tigers and cheetahs and bears and wolves, and he was found dead last night, but that's not the important part. The important part is that someone or someones unknown opened all the cages.

SWAT teams have been deployed, four school districts have been closed, residents have been warned to stay inside and, for all I know, the Ohio state legislature is rushing into an emergency session to ban something or other.

I know, I know... If you're like me, your first reaction was to hit your knees, exclaim "Praise Jesus! I knew I bought the safari-grade .375 Holland & Holland Magnum for a reason!" and rush out and buy a baby goat to tether in front of your blind, but take a moment to double check Ohio's laws for transporting long guns before you run out the front door.

Also remember that the Buckeye State's a little fussy about whose toter's permits they honor. However, there's probably no ODNR-established season or bag limit on Bengal tiger.

Meanwhile, you know that internet gun fora across the nation are pondering the important question raised by this event: "Is this a good reason to CCW a .44 magnum? "

42 comments:

Marty said...

"It's comin right for us!!"

Stuart the Viking said...

Hmmm... CCW a .44 mag huh?

I've done that. Mostly as a "because I can". I hand sew leather holsters as a hobby and on a lark I made an IWB for my 5 1/2" bisley. SO, you know, I HAD to try it out to see how well it worked (it did, surprisingly well).

Only problem is, that evening was one of the few times when I was faced with a situation where I might have actually had to USE the gun that I've been toting around for the last yaer or so. Murphy, or whoever is such a bitch. There I was watching a potentially deadly situation escalate while trying to figure out where to stand so that if I had to shoot I would have a rather substantial backstop.

Lucky for me, the BG was drunk enough that he basically forgot what he was doing right in the middle and walked... well, stumbled, away. We all had a good laugh about it later.

s

Robert said...

I'd almost be willing to bet that the perps behind this have the initials "EF".

Tam said...

Stuart the Viking,

Yeah, I've CCW'ed my 3" 629 before, albeit with 240gr Hydra-Shoks.

A reasonably heavy-for-caliber expanding bullet at right at about 1100fps is theoretically about all you can expect from a pistol. Too bad it only held six of 'em and sounded like a grenade going off...

ZerCool said...

Is there ever a *bad* reason to CCW a .44Mag?

Andy said...

And suddenly my pursuit to acquire a Ruger Alaskan doesn't seem so unreasonable.

Bubblehead Les. said...

My Buddy the Cop is a Reserve Officer in a small town down there, and from what he tells me, the guy who owned the Animals never caused his Dept. any trouble. That Said, according to the Press Release, the County Sheriff loaded up his Pickup full of Deputies and Assault Rifles, went out to the place, and started blasting critters standing by their Cages waiting to be put back, like most Zoo Animals seem to react, all the while knowing that the Columbus Zoo was sending out people with Trank Guns and Capture Gear to end the situation peaceably.

Rednecks on Safari comes to mind.

fast richard said...

I can't tell from the story whether this is a particularly lurid suicide, or an attack by animal rights nutjobs. Either seems possible.

When we're talking Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, even .44 Magnun seems less than ideal.

Weer'd Beard said...

Heh, you were the first person I thought of when I heard this story.

Time for an Ohio Safari!

Jambo!

Anonymous said...

It has to be enviro nutjobs. This morning on the MSM they brushed over the fact the owner was dead. Then the MSM rolled right into "oh the po kiddos" theme. I bet the nut jobs were trying to release the animals, the owner caught them and they whacked him.

Steve

Staurt the Viking said...

Tam,

My excursion with the .44 was a little less well thought out than yours (oh what a surprise that). All I had on hand for .44 fodder were some 240 gr soft points (at, I believe around 1200fps). If I were to decide to carry that gun again I would make sure to have some .44 Special hollow points which would probably work just as well on such thin skinned game as drunken asshole without as much worry with over penetration.

As for only having 6 shots before (in my case) an incredibly slow reload, I guess I could see that might be a problem, but really, I carry more "because I can" than any worry that I might be attacked. That doesn't mean that I won't defend myself mind you. It just means I will use the tool I like, not the one I find most effective.

s

alcade said...

Remember that alligator they found in the Iroquois River by Rensselaer, IN a year or two ago? The sheriff noted the boys who shot the thing couldn't get into trouble because there were no game laws regarding alligators in IN.

It's also a good excuse for when the wife asks "Why are you carrying a gun out in the yard?"

"Worried 'bout them gators."

Anonymous said...

I knew I needed that .500 Smith; baby o baby - daddy's coming

docjim505 said...

An excuse to CCW a .44 Magnum? HAH! This is an excuse to CCW a .500 Magnum!

/ sarc

Tam - [F]or all I know, the Ohio state legislature is rushing into an emergency session to ban something or other.

Yeah, there'll probably be a half-dozen bills presented in the next few days banning the private ownership of "dangerous" animals, all of which will be so poorly written and overly broad that people who own anything larger and more ferocious than a hungry Yorkie will suddenly become felons.

And maybe police departments across the land can get DHS grants for tranq guns, nets, etc., in case of a terrorist attack involving suicide tigers or elephants.

global village idiot said...

My first thought on hearing the blurb that the owner was found dead was that "dead" was a linguistically-accurate euphemism for "eaten."

This is the opposite end of the same spectrum that gave Phlegmmy her "Monkey Moment."

gvi

Chas S. Clifton said...

The sheriff says it was suicide, not animal rightists at work.

Ironically, the animals' owner had done federal time on firearms violations. And his wife had had enough and moved out.

Key line from a local vet, "'He was far from [a rescue operation],' Hostetler said. 'He was more of an animal collector.'"

Ask anyone you know in the animal-welfare field. "Collector" means "self-righteous nut job who thinks that only she or he can properly rescue these critters."

They range from the classic "cat lady" to people like Mr. Thompson.

Tam said...

Chas,

"He did say the body was "bothered" by the animals."

OMG, there's your understatement of the week, right there. I LOL'ed so hard.

Packin' Papa said...

Here in Ohioland we can't tote longblasters in our vehicles.
And it's a "CHL" as in, Concealed Handgun License. Not useful for "weapons". Open carry is technically legal but is a good way to get detained by the authorities for a while.

cj said...

And for the next decade, we will be putting up with people pointing to this incident asking, "There's a game preserve near me with X's, Y's, and Z's [fill in large animal featured in movies as the greatest threat to all manking]...what caliber would work for those in case they escape?"

Anyway, heck with the kiddos, think of the poor animals! Ripped out of their cushy life where their daily food was dropped into their cages, now loose in an unfamiliar environment of people carrying rifles instead of yummy treats.

Tam said...

cj,

Hey, it let me rationalize a .405 Winchester barrel for my Encore! :D

Bubblehead Les. said...

Tam, under Ohio Revised Code Section 2923.16, (B) and (C), one CAN carry Longuns as long as they are either A) in a closed box/case/etc; B) in a manner that someone has to leave the vehicle to get them (open the Trunk, but NO Minivans, SUVs, etc, the old "Passenger can reach it" rule); and C) A Rack in PLAIN View with the Action open. If it doesn't have a Hold Open, it needs to be in PLAIN view or "Stripped". The Driver must be Legal to have a Gun in Ohio in the first place and no Ammo in them. So take your .405 Contender barrel off and help hunt some Grizz!

FWIW, they just had the Law Change that CHL Permit Holders can carry their Handgun however they want to in the Car. Went into effect on 30 Sept. Guess someone got in trouble for putting it in the Glovebox, and not on their Body, and they won in Court. Of course, that pissed off the Antis, because a non-CHL Passenger can now just grab it and start mowing down Nuns and Orphans when they go Nuts or something...

BTW, I checked with MY Buddy the Cop again, and he said his Dept. never had any trouble with that guy, but his Dept IS on the other end of the County. But all the cops in the area knew that there might be trouble down the road, so Plan A was to Mount up and bring the Firepower, just in case. Still don't like the fact that those Critters had to have their lives ended that way because their owner was a jerk, though.

Ken said...

What caliber for Deinonychus?

"Uh...they're flocking this way."

Anonymous said...

Deinonychus: .577 Nitro Express or 50 Cal BMG

Ulises from CA

Anonymous said...

"He did say the body was "bothered" by the animals.""

Please don't tell me this poor guy had monkey spanking monkeys.

The horror.

Gerry

Windy Wilson said...

Now, all those pore innocent animals didn't need to be put down, als the violent thuggish gun loving death dealers needed to do was sing "Can't give you any thing but love baby," and they'd all quiet down and go back into their cages quietly and peacefully. I saw it in a documentary made by Katherine Hepburn once
(I dunno what the appropriate smiley icon would be for this).

Goober said...

Cats are notoriously hard to kill. Even little alley cats can take a bunch of killing (please don't ask me how i know this).

The PH that I'm acquinted with who hunts leopard over in Africa can tell you first hand that they take a lot of killing and are very, very vindictive when you wound them. They don't run away. They come after your ass. Look up the history of the old "buck 'n'ball" Howdah pistols for a quick lesson on how dangerous tiger hunting is, even when you're mounted 12 or 15 feet up on an elephant.

What I'm trying to say is that your .44 magnum idea will likely do nothing more than piss it off. And a .375 H&H is the BARE-ASS MINIMUM round for shooting a tiger.

williamthecoroner said...

The folks that I knew in zoos who had the rirearms for dealing with large cats carried .375 mag S&W wheelguns. With the 6" barrels. Backed up with a 12 ga. with slugs.
I'm just sayin'

Anonymous said...

Uh, I think you got a little lysdexic there, williamthecoroner; could it be .357 Mag. S&W's?

roland said...

While the correct answer to "roland old trout, what's that 3" 629 for?" is "bear defense when in parts of Alaska that aren't very bear-y, when in fo-real bear country I use a .338", I usually just indicate that if Bigfoot comes after my stamp collection I've got something for his ass.

Matthew said...

Recent local events have convinced me that a 12 gauge with #7 steel shot is sufficient for North America's largest predator.

http://www.alaskadispatch.com/article/girdwood-duck-hunter-recounts-unbelievable-grizzly-attack

Can't see why it wouldn't work on lions. ;)

The Freeholder said...

I'm amazed at the level of bloodlust your post engendered. I've got no problem with killing an animal for food or self defense, and I'm even good with the concept of killing in order to protect crops. But this is a case of a bunch of cops with too much ignorance and too little training barging into a situation they have no experience with--which directly lead to the killing of 18 members of an endangered species.

And you folks are just dancing in the blood. Way to give the Gun Culture a good public image. You're making us sound like the bunch of kill-happy yahoos the anit-gunners keep saying we are.

the pawnbroker said...

Maybe I'm not "endangered", freeholder, but I can tell you what those animals can't but probably would if they could; I'd rather be dead than live in your fucking cage.

And dude, if you can't see the difference between humorous virtual "what gun for?" exercises as opposed to literally carrying them out, you're really hanging around the wrong place.

Robin said...

Freeholder, first of all I don't see any bloodlust in the thread at all.

Second, I'm not happy that 49 (at last count) animals were put down, and if indeed most of them were hanging around their cage waiting to be returned to it, that's a shame.

But a police department with more than four dozen wild animals of varying degrees of dangerousness can't just stand around and watch those animals mill around. Manpower alone wasn't there to corral them, much less the expertise or equipment. The cops on scene had to do their best to get control as fast as possible and I don't think I'd have taken a different tack myself. And I've no particular desire to shoot every zoo kept tiger I see.

Jayson said...

Robin, the expertise of Jack Hanna was there, and the sheriff IGNORED it. He shot a fucking GIRAFFE. That sheriff needs 3 shades of shit beaten out of him.

Anonymous said...

@Jayson - they're just practicing for shooting the dog on SWAT raids

Robin said...

Well, Jayson, I agree that shooting a giraffe is a sign of a moron. They are utterly harmless creatures. Is there a link to a story that includes that?

Robin said...

Jayson, you know that the CNN story accounts for each animal killed and there is no giraffe listed.

Gnarly Sheen said...

Q: What gun for giraffe?

A: Anything with a cartridge that has been necked up.

/so sorry

Andy said...

And you folks are just dancing in the blood.

Damn it! I just cleaned my boots.

Newbius said...

I wonder if those local yokels will be brought up on Federal charges of harming endangered species? It wasn't as if they were, oh I don't know, walking through a backyard where the kids were playing, or anything like that. Besides, Tigers are way more cuddly than grizzly bears...

Kristopher said...

Jayson: You can shoot giraffes in Tanzania.

You can also shoot bambi in North America.

So what is your point?

How do you feel about my habit of murdering and eating sea-kittens?

RipRip said...

Ever seen a giraffe get pissed lions don't even mess with them!