Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Urk.

Sorry about the lack of content, still feeling ooky. Lots of words in my head, but a serious lack of willpower when it comes to getting them out my fingertips. I want to talk about guns in pockets, slings on long guns, hooks in bathrooms, and pants on monkeys... Actually, that last part might just be fever hallucinations.

I'm wearing thermal underwear under my jeans, wool socks, and both a short- and long-sleeved tee under a fleece pullover, and I'm still chilled, despite the thermostat reading 67°F in the office here. It's cozy under the covers, though, which is where I'll be again after a bowl of that famous sovereign cure, Chicken Noodle Soup.

You want to know a swell book to read when you're drifting in and out of awareness in the bed on a sick day? This Will Kill You: A Guide to the Ways in Which We Go. It lists, in loving detail, dozens of ways that we check out, describes exactly what happens during each one, and rates them for lethality, horror factor, and kills per annum. Plus it's packed with fascinating marginalia and trivial tidbits: The strange fate of Gary Hoy, and the lenient jail sentence of Issei Sagawa, for examples.

And especially why you should keep a stick handy in Guinea worm country...

32 comments:

Joseph said...

Here's hoping you feel better, Tam.

Anonymous said...

Good thing you don't have a real job or anything!

Anonymous said...

I actually lived in conakry guinea, for a little over a year. The briefings on those things were enough to make me wear a kevlar sock every single damn day.

Anonymous said...

You would think the eco-weenies would be protesting the fact that the parasitic worm isn't on the endangered species list.

North said...

I hope you recover soon.

Anonymous said...

Well, here's an interesting link for y'all; Save the Guinea Worm Foundation.

Hope that link works.

-Kresh

Anonymous said...

It didn't work. Here's the url: http://www.deadlysins.com/guineaworm/index.htm

Sorry for the double post.

-Kresh

Darrell said...

Good chicken soup is easy to make... if you must have canned, Tam, try Progresso instead of that Campbell's junk.

Keads said...

I hope you get better soon. The disturbance in the snark was felt!

Robbie said...

Thanks! I just put a reserve on the book through the library where I work!

Brad K. said...

Tam,

Don't count on the chicken soup to be much more than comfort food.

It turns out that the chicken fat is the key element, and most canned soups are lacking in native, comes-with-the-meat fats.

See, the chicken fat irritates the sinuses, causing them to flush, which cleanses and carries away the infecting viruses and guck.

It just tastes better than a neti wash (pour a cup of warmish salt water up your nose so it runs out the other nostril. Do it again, tilting your head so it runs out your mouth. Repeat on the other side. Note, this procedure is comfortably done over the bathroom sink, very seldom in public, say, at the Wal-Mart deli.

Or you can try saline nasal mist; unmedicated, it won't interfere with the chicken soup or other remedies or medicines; my doctors have all encouraged it's use.

Of course, Alka-Selzer Plus works pretty good, even if it is non-recreational (like Vicks Nyquil). Metamucil/psyllium husk can be a comfort in the lower tract, if you know what I mean.

Celestial Seasonings makes an herbal tea, Honey Lemon Ginseng, that makes a good beverage. I add a good dollop of honey.

In a pinch, hot water, even hot tap water, is a comfort food. Though I think toast, graham crackers, popcorn, or pork and beans with ground beef and diced potatoes cooked together are pretty good, too.

Stay hydrated, and maybe grab something lighter to read, like Wen Spencer's "A Brothers Price" or Sharon Lee and Steve Miller's "A Conflict of Honors", "Scout's Progress", or "Balance of Trade".

Blessed be!

North said...

Have some chicken soup with a shot of cayenne. That tends to make me less lethargic and gets the juices flowing. I hope it does the same for you.

DirtCrashr said...

Just finished The Adventurer's Handbook and the Guinea Worm sounds a bit like the Candiru.
Stay well and be warm.

Eric said...

So you go to Blogorado and now you're sick? Does your body miss the area that much?

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better.

The links to the Guinea Worm and the post about the bombing of Boise City OK would be enough for most blogs. But no, you want to do more.

VFTP is a big reason why the intenet is for the cool kids.

The Jack said...

Well wishes, and it's perfectly fine to have some morbid reading while sick.

Worse case you'll get some freaky dreams to toss into the free-icecream machine.

Hope you get better.

Duke said...

Where do you dig up some of your reading material, I think I could find better bedtime stories.

cobalt-60 said...

Here's hoping you get better soon, Tam.

Tam said...

TheJack,

"Worse case you'll get some freaky dreams to toss into the free-icecream machine."

Actually, there was this incredibly detailed dream last night involving an action pistol match shot against zombie targets while wearing Black Watch pattern kilts, but that's neither here nor there...

Stretch said...

Tam ... kilt ... knee socks ...

Stretch goes to his happy place.

The Jack said...

Hmm, yeah that's almost par for you.

My last weird dream was me OCing in New York and I had to go into a pharmacy. However, no one, no one noticed.

Hat Trick said...

I hope you get well soon.

aaron said...

I suppose that sort of title selection is one way to ensure you stay at Google's #1 for "horrible screaming death"...

Anonymous said...

Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach, is a laugh- a-minute for the morbidly inclined. Beyond Body Farm and Med school practice, and organ donor, one might serve as a crash test dummy, ammo test target, among many other uses for unwanted human bodies.

Roach also has written another favorite, Packing For Mars.

og said...

Bad tome not to feel well, especially when one of your hoped-for scenarios is playing out in Zanesville Ohio

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/19/exotic-animals-on-loose-in-ohio-after-park-owner-found-dead/

Tam said...

Og,

Heh. Great minds obviously think alike. :)

Lewis said...

I had an ex-MOD Black Watch kilt for a while, although it was ridiculously tiny. Man, that 22 ounce wool is an entirely different beast than the flippy little 12 and 13 ounce wools a lot of kilts are made of. Dang near bulletproof.

Tam said...

Anon 4:12,

"Good thing you don't have a real job or anything!"

Jealous much?

Brad K. said...

Anon 4:12,

"Good thing you don't have a real job or anything!"

Wow. Going to work with an infectious disease. Thanks for the public health awareness. I bet your employer really thanks you for the increased absence of the work force.

Do you even wash your hands? (This turns out to be a key element of stopping the spread of many diseases, along with coughing/sneezing into your arm pit. And, please don't shake hands when the flu is passing around.)

Tam said...

Brad K.,

Yeah, when I was working at the SKB flight dept., I had to get my Puritan work ethic regarding coming into work sick lectured out of me (it's made all the worse by the fact that I have a relatively robust immune system, and so often ignored relatively serious flu strains as "just a cold".)

As my boss explained to me, we only had two backup pilots, either of which might be unavailable at any given time, and coming into work sick could Typhoid Mary the flight department bad enough to need to hire a charter flight or two, so the company would really appreciate it if my sick arse would stay home and save them a few thousand dollars, rather than try to cowgirl up and infect my coworkers.

Fargazer said...

I have to second the recommendation for "Stiffs". Interesting and funny, in a morbid sort of way. I'm not sure you should read it until you are feeling better - I seem to remember some references to chicken soup in the chapter on the Body Farm.

Jim said...

Here's your "get well" wishes.

http://www.mamapop.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/far-side-chicken-soup.gif

It's a classic Gary Larsen Far Side panel, of course. Good for what ails ya!


Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX