"Mall Ninja" has jumped the shark, attached by MOLLE fasteners, paracord braid, velcro, fastex buckles, and 100-mph tape to the tactical vest of the zombie.
If "zombie" jumped the shark when Hornady started selling Z-Max anti-zombie ammunition, then "mall ninja" jumped the shark when you could actually pick up the phone and hire you some. (Assuming you can't afford a classy outfit like Dog the Bounty Hunter's.)
Please let it be an elaborate hoax. It hits every trope, from dual-wielding to Hi-Points to fake badges; it has to be a Gecko_45 for a new decade. Right?
Which triggers a sobering thought: Kids that were in first or second grade when the original mall ninja thread happened at GlockTalk are old enough to be in college now. Or Afghanistan. Or hiring themselves out as tactical bodyguard security operator special consultant contractors in Montgomery, AL.