Monday, November 07, 2011

Really, Taurus? Really?

I once had an idea to enhance range safety. When you saw somebody doing something gooberish at the range, you would offer them a free hat or t-shirt that said "I'm A Moron! Watch My Muzzle!"

The plan fizzled because, despite being free, nobody wanted the merchandise.

Now Taurus has figured out a way to charge hundreds of dollars for essentially the same thing, a big, shiny goober indicator, and people will gobble them up like mushrooms at a Phish concert.

(H/T to Unc.)

54 comments:

Brandoch Daha said...

Wow. They didn't just hop over the shark. They achieved escape velocity.

They had no choice but to go there and pile on, of course. It's the Judge. It has fulfilled its high and lonely destiny.

Bob said...

The BSGI special. Tam wins the internets again. Call it the "Goober Special" for short.

The Raving Prophet said...

The only way they could have trolled yet more with this thing would have been to use a polymer frame with accessory rails.

Taurus seems to issue model variations with greater regularity than Joe Biden issues silly statements. Sometimes I wonder if they make more than a half dozen of some of their guns.

It will sell, no doubt about it, so I imagine Taurus will laugh all the way to the bank.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Smith and Wesson Governor w/Zombie Green Aftermarket Grips. Look for it at a Gun Shop near you.

Guess Rare Dark Earth is now Last Season's Color, huh?

Wonder how Ruger will respond?

And will any of them cut a Deal with K-Bar to make up a "Zombie Killing Kit?"

It's all Larry Corriea's Fault, you know.

And T-Bolt's, of course.

Ed Rasimus said...

Imagine the fun of loading one round of .454 Casul among the 2.5" .410 shells and waiting for the screams of surprise from the back side of the Zombie Killer!

Keads said...

Sigh.... Somedays its not worth it to chew through the straps!

Goober said...

Hey! Easy on Goobers, there, folks. Some of us know how to be safe at the range and have good enough taste to think that this pistol is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. As Tam said, Taurus continues to offer absolutely nothing that I'd be interested in buying.

Anonymous said...

No one ever went bankrupt underestimating the intelligence of the American people.

Word Verification - pimantep - the leader of the mummy hoards which will replace Zombies in the coming year.

Tam said...

Anon 11:24,

"pimantep - the leader of the mummy hoards which will replace Zombies in the coming year."

HA! :D

Your internets is in the mail. :)

Anonymous said...

OTOH...

It does offer the ability of three different ways to get carpal tunnel in one package. Four if you count both sizes of 20 GA.

Gmac

og said...

Goes to show. Give something away, and nobody wants it. Charge top dollar for it, and they will beat down your door.

Joel said...

Y'gotta admit the glass-fronted box is a cute idea.

But yeah, I think that shark can consider itself thoroughly and definitively jumped.

WV=garbe. "No version of the Taurus Judge will ever be part of my garbe."

Tango Juliet said...

“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?” -- Rita Rudner

instinct said...

Are we sure that Taurus isn't run by a bunch of anti-gun Bloomberg people?

Fred said...

You've summed up everything my pre-coffee brain was thinking when I saw that this morning. Good gods Taurus...

Sport Pilot said...

Another something for folk's to rush out and buy so they can sell or trade it after they shoot it the first time...sigh...

Will said...

Gave me a fit of the giggles when I looked at it.
Still, it's a bangnboomer, so it has a redeeming feature.


wv: haulter. Yeah, it may take a long moment to haulter down from full stroke recoil.

dave said...

Wonder how Ruger will respond?
With the new Ruger Super Zombie! You don't have to actually fire it--just read the writing on the barrel in its entirety and the zombies will die of boredom.

Randy said...

What baffles me is they turned the gun upside down so they could show the inscription on the cylinder. It's as if they zombies already ate their brains and they couldn't figure out the writing was "up" on the other side. Maybe the zombies ate the whole right side of the gun?

RWC said...

What gun for zombie memes

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure the smart guy at Taurus realized some years back that most gunowners don't own them for shooting, or because they actually need them, they own them just because they can.
Taurus'll ride this one to the bank just like Hornady did the ammo...

Just My 2¢ said...

Pure Ninja awesomeness. It's almost as iconic as a gold-plated .50 Desert Eagle... which sold for $5,000 BTW. The URL, if you're curious: http://bit.ly/syIhgo

Anonymous said...

"The plan fizzled because, despite being free, nobody wanted the merchandise."

I don't believe you for a second. No self respecting goober ever turns down a free hat, or for that matter, purchases a hat. Hats are things people give you.

Gregg said...

Ruger hit the market first with their Zombie Slayer LCP.

http://www.impactguns.com/ruger-lcp-zombie-slayer-380-acp-3721.aspx

Dwight Brown said...

I misremembered the name as "Zombie Destroyer". And before I was able to relive myself of that, I started writing the screenplay for "Zombie Destroyer".

You see, it is 1919, and a disgraced former German naval officer has to fight off a horde of zombie sailors who have taken over captured German battleships and are planning to shell British targets in an attempt to restart WWI...

(I'll leave the climax of the screenplay as an exercise for the reader.)

Mister_V said...

I honestly would not have a problem with zombie-themed guns if they just weren't so bad at it. Why yes, a bulky, inaccurate, low-capacity handgun that's hard to find ammo for and weighs more than some AR-15's is the perfect weapon to see you through the zombie apocalypse! They ought to switch out the "zombie responder" cylinder with one that says "full retard," it'd be more honest.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Jesus wept. No shotguns for zombies. ESPECIALLY no .410 revolver shotguns for zombies.

Joe in PNG said...

Hey, that gives me an idea for when I need to sell off any seldom used guns in the safe to get other guns. Spray paint them bright green and write "ZOMBIE SLAYER DELUX" on them.

Ancient Woodsman said...

And here I thought that "Big, shiny goober indicator" was Air Force One.

docjim505 said...

OK, it's ugly. It has no real-world utility. It may be of dubious quality. It's an outright stupid concept.

BUT...

There's a facet of the shooting sports called "fun". This can be had by carefully putting bullet after bullet through a single hole at very long range; by putting several bullets into a small target while racing the clock; or by putting shot or bullets into various animals from a freezing-cold blind or stand at oh-dark-thirty in the morning.

Fun may ALSO be had by blasting tin cans, sporting clays, old cars, or boxes filled with explosives; by seeing just how fast one can empty the magazine and to hell with actually hitting anything; or by seeing just how much BOOM one can tolerate ("Lemme try that!").

It may also be had by purchasing a firearm with little or no real-world utility or collector value.

If Taurus gets a few people to think - and VOTE - that "you can have my Zombie Responder when you pry it from my cold, (un)dead fingers", then I'd say they've done all us RKBA types a real service.

And who knows? Some of these goobers, after trying a few shots with that cannon, might develop a taste for the shooting sports, leading them to buy a 1911, 686, M&P, AR-15, etc., to... um... keep the hand cannon company.

DirtCrashr said...

If you "rack it" by banging the cylinder shut, will the zombies run away in fright?
If not, then how will you deal with the black-hoodie zombies of the Black Bloc? They'll surround you, laughing.

global village idiot said...

A few people here get it - those that recognize that Ruger is "laughing all the way to the bank."

Tam, of all people - YOU! You who worked in the retail business! Have you forgot how much every for-profit enterprise...not just firearms but EVERYONE...depends on those with more money than sense?

We slag the well-heeled morons of the world at our peril.

If I worked for Taurus I'd make guns that looked like vegetables if I thought they'd sell.

And where are you with your idea? That disposable, non-reloadable thingamajig? It's an idea whose time has just about come. After all, if anything belonged in a yellow "In Case of Zombies Break Glass" case it'd be your idea.

gvi

Buzz said...

Sorry, Tam, but that's funny right there.
Not singing rubber fish stupid or chia pet stupid, but funny.

I'm with docjim505 on this one.

Tam said...

gvi,

And if I were running a gun company, this post would be singing a different tune.

If I can't bitch on my private blog, where can I bitch? ;)

docjim505 said...

Dwight Brown,

Interesting idea for a screenplay, but "1919", Kaiserliche Marineand "scantily-clad female lead" just don't go together!

Although... Hmmm... Upon further reflection, Emma Stone might look good in a jumper and bell-bottom trousers. Then again, Emma Stone would look good in anything short of a burqa.

OK, I take back what I wrote: full speed ahead with your screenplay!

;-)

Buzz,

Thanks.

Gewehr98 said...

Cool. But can I get it in pink?

(Saw a pink 1911 on American Guns last night, so that Taurus is somewhat blase' now...)

tanksoldier said...

The problem isn't what the gun chambers, what it looks like or what's written on it. The PROBLEM is that, with zombies, you by definition are dealing with HORDES.

Individually zombies are soft targets but there are usually zillions of them. You don't NEED the power a .454 Casull, you need large magazine capacity. This gun is all wrong for that.

Now, if the threat were gargoyles or something that would be different.

Jeffro said...

Oh, I dunno. This is more a logical extension to marketing pink .22 Crickets to little girls, or colored plastic fantastic handguns, or a DeWalt AR15, Hello Kitty guns and so on. Just because it has no real use doesn't make it not cool for certain people. You wouldn't want to drive a race ready jet powered or a fuelly car to work every day, but having one around to play with would be a blast.

One of my best friends went through a learning curve when he bought a Beretta 92 because he was a fan of the Lethal Weapon movies and that was what Riggs used. He learned later that gun was a poor choice for his preferences, but it got him started.

I wouldn't want one, and I'd rather see Taurus invest a lot more in QC than coming out with toys like this, but it's not The End of the World As We Know It. My biggest problem with their concept is if they capture a new customer to the shooting sports and it doesn't work right, they might be discouraged and leave us. Otherwise more power to 'em.

Dwight Brown said...

docjim505:

" Emma Stone might look good in a jumper and bell-bottom trousers."

She'll look even better when that jumper and bell-bottom trousers get soaking wet at the end of the movie, after she and her love interest (the disgraced former captain) finish scuttiling all the German battleships in Scapa Flow to stop the zombie destroyer attack.

See, I had a reason for picking 1919...

the pawnbroker said...

They can paint it pink and chamber it for lawn darts, but as long as it doesn't come with a frickin' ignition key thingie ("you damn hordes hang on while I find my damn KEY!")...then it's an improvement for El Toro.

montieth said...

So Tam,

you could always sell some View From the Porch Tam Branded Zombie Hunter hats....

wrm said...

Think one can ream that cylinder a little and load 45-70?

And yea, I don't think Taurus is stupid, or have jumped the shark... I think they're brilliant, and laughing all the way to the bank.

But they do owe Larry some royalties.

Justthisguy said...

There was a Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comic strip on just this subject, many years ago. I do wish Gilbert Shelton would license it for free distribution. That might save some lives.

Free-Wheelin Franklin:

Hey, motherfucker, don't point that thing at me!

Fat Freddy:

Aw, it ain't loaded!

Shotgun:

BANG!

Justthisguy said...

P.s. Y'all should read my earliest significant blog post, in which I marvelled at how many bullet holes there were in that place which were not anywhere near where the targets were. I am so glad the Sweety and I had the range to ourselves.

Public ranges frighten me. (except maybe if there is a really scary badass range safety officer there, who is well-armed)

docjim505 said...

Dwight Brown,

As intriguing as I find the mental image of your idea, I confess to having some trouble with the concept of a German hero. Too many World War II movies as a child, I suppose...

Justin said...

[Gob BLuth]C'mon![/Gob Bluth]

This thing's not even chambered in any of the cartridges available in Hornady's Zombie Max lineup.

How am I supposed to use it to slay zombies when it doesn't even take the right kind of ammunition?

It's little things like this that will cause us to lose World War Z.

Anonymous said...

I could have done without seeing that. I mean, pearl-handled revolvers are bad enough, but really? How do you carve notches into that thing? Granted, you'd have to go one notch per horde, but still.

I'll stick with old faithful Taurus - large enough to be a challenge to conceal on my person and light enough to bite when I don't pay attention. And all in a tasteful, subdued brown.

LittleRed1

Brian said...

I would love to disagree but, oddly enough I can't! The whole Zombie thing is just embarrassing. And I like Zombie movies and games.

Unknown said...

well the .454 round would be good for a tank maybe, or taking down a witch with one shot. but against say a hunter or smoker, or even just the plain horde of zombies? Overkill.

Anonymous said...

I'd buy one only if it came with a barrett m82 muzzle brake as a factory option. Heh.

Gewehr98 said...

Hmmm...

Now I have a hankerin' to find one for some quality time with a caliper. Maybe it could be reamed out to .45-70, non-green grips installed, and sit in the safe next to the BFR. (My other Zombie/Brinks gun!)

Not so stupid after all!

Tennessee Budd said...

It's official. I'm giving up being a small-"l" libertarian. I'm going Heinleinian. One should be able to kill anyone carrying one of those & confiscate their weapons & supplies for one's own use.
Sound harsh? Well, the post-apocalyptic Earth is a harsh mistress. Deal with it.

Peter said...

I wish I understood this zombie craze. Since I don't I'll just hope that Taurus makes enough money on these things so they can keep makinging those nice Winchester '92 clones. they took over from Rossi. I have one of the old Rossis in .45 Colt with a 24 inch Oct. barrel and would simply love to have a matching saddle ring carbine in the same chambering.

Justthisguy said...

The Freak Brothers reference seemed to go right past everybody without the slightest friction.

Kids, these days...