Friday, August 10, 2012

There's always a leopard at the watering hole...

The streets of Broad Ripple Proper, up around the strip, teem every weekend night with tipsy, fat-walleted prey, and where there is prey, there are predators.

My favorite part of the article was the idea to "enforce the curfew", like juvenile Sumdood was going to go out and stick his gat in some undergrad's face in the alley behind Chumley's and relieve him of his wallet and iPhone, but would then realize that it was after curfew hours and who would risk piling a minor ordinance violation on top of a B Felony?

Part of the city's idea to reduce this kind of crime (and, oddly enough for a tax-squandering scheme, it shockingly might actually help a bit in spite of itself,) is to build a gigando parking garage on the corner of Broad Ripple Avenue and College Avenue.

As it is, the nature of parking in Broad Ripple has cars parked for blocks along dark, quiet, tree-lined residential streets radiating out around the central brightly-lit entertainment strip. This means a fairly steady menu of inebriated targets staggering back to their cars those same three or four darkened blocks at 0300. By encouraging more people to park in a central, easily-patrolled, brightly lit area, they will no doubt cut down on the absolute number of muggings, but it's a sad symptom of the times that this is seen as an acceptable solution. Dark streets unsafe? Surrender them to the goblins...

21 comments:

Pakkinpoppa said...

True...but many of said "staggerers" are already hoping that Johnny Law is both there to save them and and also to not be there and see if they meet IMPD recruitment breathalyzer levels.

Weer'd Beard said...

Another extension of the "If Guns were as Illegal as Murder, Nobody would be Murdered with Guns!" Logic!

Bubblehead Les. said...

Here's an idea. How about MORE of the Good Citizens of Indy get their CHPs and SHOOT BACK!

I always liked Larry and Jerry's "Evolution in Action" concept.

John said...

Sounds like an excellent hunting ground for a decoy cop situation -- if it were in the hands of a Department that didn't wear clown-suits whilst waving a bottle around on duty.

Woodman said...

Put these signs about half a block from the main drag.

"It is dark, you are likely to be eaten by a Grue."

Ish said...

Clearly we need portable versions of the Force Fields that stop burgalry.

Bobby Nations said...

Are bar patrons allowed to carry up there in Indy? If so, then encouraging armed citizens might help thin out the stupid criminals over time. Otherwise, they'll be just as empty-handed as anyone else during the journey back to their car, staggering or not.

Rob K said...

Time for another open carry evening, maybe?

And Bobby Nations, yep, it's not illegal for bar patrons to carry and drink in Indiana.

perlhaqr said...

Yeah, I think you'd get popped for hunting over bait if you parked the Zed on one of those streets and went out for a night, then went stumbling back (stone sober, of course) towards it, heater a-tote.

Not to mention, it's almost certainly not worth the $100k lawyer bill just to rid the city of one lone goblin. :-/

NotClauswitz said...

The centralized parking-plaza is an excellent way to supply John Law with a target-rich environment and produce a lot of DUI revenue. Cut-out the criminal middleman efforts and go straight to the drunk-tank!

Will said...

The unintended consequence of the concentrated parking/IMPD presence:

the nightlife will migrate elsewhere, and the parking structure will sit as empty as the local businesses cash registers. Ten years from the opening, locals will wonder why that part of Indy had faded away, with buildings boarded up, etc.

Might not get that bad, but generally, gov't control of citizens actions has a bad ripple effect.

Kristopher said...

Issue hunting licenses, and set up blinds along the sidewalk.

Maybe make it a bowhunting season to avoid bystander fatalities.

Probably not as dangerous as hunting cape buffalo, even if Sumdood is packing a pistol.

I'll bet the Indiana F&G dept sells some tags.

Joseph said...

I do believe the violation for curfew also includes the parent, so I think the hope of the curfew isn't to stop some teen willing to commit murder from being out and committing murder. Rather, it is to encourage the parent to keep the goblin in the breeding pit after curfew.

The sanity of thinking that someone who's child is willing to commit armed robbery/murder/felony #34 is actually concerned enough to actually keep their spawn off the streets after curfew is questionable at best.

Ed said...

George Zimmerman, are you busy?

Time for sober people that appear to have fat wallets (actually, pocket carry) to take a late night walk.

Even lion prides know that while buffalo are very tasty and filling, getting close is risky.

Matt G said...

Not a bad way to increase revenues, though. The businesses will be happy for it, because greater convenience means more customers. Throw in a couple of public restrooms on the bottom floor, and you'll actually have fewer folks pissing in lawns, too. All boats can rise on that tide.

Steve Skubinna said...

It's just like "hate crime" laws.

"Dude, before you beat that gay guy to death, consider this: you'll be committing a HATE CRIME!"

Idiot Gov. Pataki actually said, when he signed NY's hate crime law, that such a law could have stopped the Nazis. So if I ever build a time machine, screw going back to kill Hitler. Nope, I'm going to the Weimar Republic and enact hate crime legislation.

In your face, Adolf! How's my ass taste?

Old NFO said...

+1 on Joseph's comment! And decoy ops would work too, as long as it was randomized.

Anonymous said...

Leopard? I think you mean "pack of hyenas".

Critter said...

simply installing better lighting in the surrounding areas would go a long way to curtailing much of this behavior and would be much less expensive.

Pakkinpoppa said...

Lights would just enable the leopards (or hyenas) to better surprise their prey as...where there's light, there's a shadow beyond it, after the big light in the sky goes away, and once one has had a few...adult beverages...the light is what one focuses on rather than what lurks in the shadows.

Anonymous said...

There can't be that many Sumdood's. A good approach might be decoy policemen.

A good book on how effective this can be is Surviving the Age of Fear/Life-Saving Lessons for Senior Citizens from San Francisco's Heroic Decoy Cop Who Was Mugged 256 Times

http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Life-Saving-Lessons-Citizens-Franciscos/dp/1567960138