Monday, September 17, 2012

But it wasn't a dream. It was a place! And you, and you, and you, and you were there!

Long and insanely detailed dream last night...

Bobbi and I were living in a house in Tennessee, in some area that reminded me of the west side of Chattanooga, with lots of vertical topography. It was a '60s ranch, something of a fixer-upper, hugely rambling, with a pool, and overlooking some interstate from the back yard and thus crazy reasonably-priced.

The ground shook like an earthquake, and Bobbi looked on her iPhone (this should have been the 'This is all a dream' alert for me, right there) to see what happened, and I ran out in the back yard and looked across the interstate to see that the very tall sign for the truck stop/gas station half a mile down the road was a twisted ball of wreckage on the ground, and all the roads around it were lined with the flashing blue and red strobes of emergency vehicles.

Apparently there was now a huge fire and hillsides were burning and Bobbi wanted to go take pictures, and so we piled into her little Hyundai Accent (now inexplicably right-hand drive) and set off.

We're driving up this one-lane elevated on-ramp towards the part of the interstate that is wreathed in smoke and I'm peering out the windshield, worried about stopped cars ahead when suddenly there's a grizzly bear rearing up on its hind legs in the middle of the road! I look over at Bobbi and she's asleep! I shake her awake and she swerves around the bear.

But then the concrete chute ahead of us is full of bears! And moose! And bears fighting moose! Obviously they have fled the forest fires in the surrounding hills for the safety of the elevated freeway. I wake Bobbi again to steer us through the slalom of battling woodland monsters, and as I do, I see this Chewbacca-looking thing go running the other way down the shoulder! "Did you see that? Was that a Sasquatch?"

And then we get to the parking lot of the local medical school/research hospital/Umbrella Corp. laboratories, and go inside and run into LabRat and Stingray and the four of us wind up running up and down deserted corridors with Beretta 92s, shooting up the weird ghost kids from The Shining and cleaver-wielding lab-coated mad doctors like a first-person shooter.

And we get to a more populated part of the place and we're trying to act all nonchalant in this lobby, waiting for an elevator alongside a bunch of people wearing scrubs, one of whom is pushing this kid in a wheelchair who is wearing a gingham dress like Dorothy and staring at me with these big creepy unnatural china doll eyes like painted glass ping pong balls. Three of them. Eyes, that is. Three big creepy eyes.

We ducked into a storage room, hoping to boost some scrubs ourselves so we could blend in better with the locals, but there weren't any in there except for a few odds and ends that would have been too small on Hervé Villechaize or would have hung off André the Giant like a circus tent. The last thing I remember before I woke up, we were looting the deserted campus bookstore for anything that might be of use...

20 comments:

staghounds said...

Or maybe this is a dream, one of the moose antlers knocked you out...

PhilaBOR said...

Picture yourself in a boat on a river...

Ambulance Driver said...

Meh. At my house, we call that "Tuesdays."

RevolverRob said...

That was definitely more intense than the dream I had last night where I was in a prolonged knife/cleaver fight with a GIANT man. And that one was intense.

At least you had a gun though. All I had were two kitchen knives and a lot of will power.

-Rob

Anonymous said...

No more spicy food for dinner!

Erik in Colo.

Anonymous said...

Up late playing Half-Life?

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

So.... Are you quitting smoking too?

Don said...

In faux Austrian accent:

Lie on zee couch und tell me when ju first started hating jur Mudder.

Anonymous said...

movie rights. I wants them.

BobG said...

Sounds like you should put together a video game.

NotClauswitz said...

Occupy the Campus! With Moose and Bear - not Squirrel.

global village idiot said...

I think I'm gonna win today's "Where's Chewie" contest...

tc in tx said...

Wow! What did you have for dinner last night?

Stingray said...

"and the four of us wind up running up and down deserted corridors with Beretta 92s, shooting up the weird ghost kids from The Shining and cleaver-wielding lab-coated mad doctors like a first-person shooter."

Ah, the ol' "Trick the blogger who goes to gun school a lot into thinking you're *not* the HMF(s)IC and weed out the annoying co-workers and failed experiments" gambit works every time. :D

Ken said...

Little early to be making the rounds of the haunted-house circuit, innit? ;-)

KM said...

NJT..
So.... Are you quitting smoking too?


Chantix dreams are incredible!

I had preposterous dreams of insanely hot women wanting to do nasty things to my body - free of charge!
And then I would realize that I was married and all was forbidden.
THAT is a true a nightmare!

RM1(SS) (ret) said...

So - you have the basic plot. Now you just need to find a scriptwriter and a producer....

Let me know when it hits the theatres - I'll go see it!

(Any recommendations as to who should play Tam and Bobbi?)

Kristophr said...

Lay off smoking the Jimson weed before bedtime.

Will said...

" (now inexplicably right-hand drive)"

Perhaps you are remembering it in mirror image? My memory sometimes does that to me.

angrymike said...

Definitely a nightmare, if Mooshell was in it.....