Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Since I hate using good material at away games...

So, Alec Balswin... swear to god that was an honest typo, so I'm leaving it... anyway, Alec Baldwin was... well, I was going to say "showing his ass again", but the word "again" would imply that there were intervals of non-ass-showingness in the life of a man whose trousers are pretty much perpetually around his ankles as he walks ass-first through the world...

Like I said, anyway, Alec Baldwin was having a typical day, spouting insults and belittling people he thought were beneath his own barely-polysyllabic self, and one of them had a tape recorder, so some of Baldwin's filth accidentally splashed back on his Guccis, resulting in an investigation by the NYPD.

One of the commenters at asked how what Baldwin did could be construed as an actual, you know, crime-type crime, with cops and charges and whatnot, to which I replied
Dude, it's New York City. They can get busted for salt shakers and 32oz. styrofoam cups. Who the hell knows what else is a crime there?

It's like the gulag, but with Broadway musicals and overpriced restaurants.


Angus McThag said...

In NYFC's defense, the price of food is a lot cheaper than getting it in a gulag.

Joseph said...

I'm still waiting for someone to arrest this prick for portraying Jimmy Doolittle in that crapfest Pearl Harbor. In fact, the entire cast and crew should be imprisoned.

staghounds said...

"It's not what it sounds like!!"

Plus, he's an active Democrat. Can't we just move on?

staghounds said...

And in his defense, when you accost someone and ask him personal questions and take his picture on the public street, I don't think you can claim to have been "targeted" for anything other than being a jackass.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Wish they'd hurry up and build that wall around Manhattan.

And throw Bloomberg off it INTO Battery Park.

Anonymous said...

He'll just claim he was under the infuence of a a Big Gulp and a donut made with trans-fat.


og said...

I keep trying to get Zazzle to print 64 oz drink cups that say "Suck on this, Bloomie!" So far no luck. Seems a target rich environment.

Jeffrey Deutsch said...

Staghounds, just like you said this is a public street -- people have a right to accost anyone and take their picture. (On the other hand, continuing to accost them after they ask you to leave, or publishing their [identifiable] picture without their consent, is another matter. On yet a third hand, he is a public figure, and that matters.)

Not to mention that if he did call a black man a "coon" to his face, that's fighting words. Where I'm sitting -- hundreds of miles from the Big Apple -- he'd be guilty of at least two criminal offenses. (And contributory negligence here means that if the retired detective had slugged him, Baldwin could probably forget about any damages.)

Last but not least, this is the second decade of the 21st century. Pretty much everywhere, you're potentially on Candid Camera 2.0. Conduct yourself accordingly.

Jeff Deutsch

Goober said...

Mr. Deutcsh;

I'm very interested to hear a complete list of crimes he committed in your opinion. Where I'm from we can call people racial slurs all we want and there are no legal or civil ramifications whatsoever.

The place I'm from is called America. Where is it that you're from?

As an aside, in most areas if you are enough of a douchebag to actually call someone a racial slur the authorities will unofficially consider any asswhoopin that you are on the receiving end of as a result to be well and truly deserved. And rightfully so.

taylor said...

Its amazing the difference you get between and Alec and an Adam, isnt it?

global village idiot said...

I disagree with the gulag idea. Once you're in the gulag, things are pretty straightforward.

NYFC is the Lubyanka.


NotClauswitz said...

I'm pretty sure it smells like the Gulag too.

Jeffrey Deutsch said...

Good morning Goober,

Here in Virginia, Mr. Baldwin's remarks could be punished as:

Swearing in public - Class 4 misdemeanor

Curse and abuse - Class 3 misdemeanor

Keep in mind that here in America, laws vary quite a bit from state to state. I will say that up in Gotham, such remarks might be considered Aggravated Harassment in the First Degree, a felony. (Gotham takes bias offenses very seriously.)

As for any resulting asswhooping being well and truly deserved, contributory negligence* is a part of it. Not to mention that if you use "fighting words" or similar provocation and the other person hits you first, you hit back to defend yourself and you get arrested for assault and battery, your self-defense claim will look pretty thin since you contributed to the situation in the first place.

[*] Contributory negligence means that if you want to sue someone, you need squeaky-clean hands or you don't get a dime. The courts aren't allowed to weigh and balance respective degrees of fault. A few U.S. jurisdictions, including Virginia, have kept contributory negligence.

Comparative negligence, which is the law in most of the U.S., still means that the plaintiff can lose some recovery if s/he was somewhat at fault.


Jeff Deutsch