Monday, March 25, 2013

How To Live In Broad Ripple, Part 1 of a Series...

People who live in Broad Ripple generally like to do so because of all the nice places to which you can walk. It is easy to walk to these nice places because of the nice sidewalks.

When it snows, here's what you should do: Early in the morning, after you've run the freshly-ground organic fair trade coffee through the French press, grab your snow shovel and go get that white stuff off your walks. If you're out there before your neighbors, shovel five or ten feet of their walk, too, which will not only be neighborly, but will also let you feel a little smug! It doesn't need to be perfect if you're in a hurry for your Pilates class or something; just clear room enough for people to walk safely. (If you have a corner lot, don't forget that little bit of sidewalk that runs through the Devil's strip to the curb!)

Right. (-5pts for failure to clear curb cut.)

Failure to do this will make your Broad Riparian neighbors cuss as they slog through half a foot or more of snow where the sidewalk should be while on their way to 20 Tap to get a Powerhouse Diesel Oil Milk Stout and a delicious roast beef 'n' swiss sandwich au jus for lunch. No matter how prettily your lawn is landscaped during the summer, failure to clear your walks in the winter will make people think you are kind of a giant douchecanoe.

The sandwich in question.


Scott J said...

This is why I could never live someplace like that.

Most mornings I'm rushing out like my hair is on fire because I'm leaving for work later than I want to.

I wouldn't have time to shovel walks.

Douglas2 said...

When I lived in a place with sidewalks, I would always shovel from the driveway of my neighbor to the left to the driveway of my neighbor to the right.

I figured my little bit of clear sidewalk might get a bit more use if people could get to it from the street, because otherwise they would have to traverse many yards of uncleared walk, and often mounds of plowed or shoveled snow on either side of the driveways.

When I was walking to work and school, what bugged me the most was the mansions that would clear their 100ft of frontage only to leave a giant mound of the stuff at the property line -- talk about obeying the letter of the law and missing the entire ***king point!

Gerry N. said...

Or one could live in the Puget Sound basin where snow falls and sticks about one week out of fifty two in a year(sixty in Fauxbumbler's world.) And there are no regulations requiring any frozen precipitation to be removed from any sidewalks.

If some ijit wants to walk snow free on my sidewalk, he/she is free to remove it.

Steve Skubinna said...

Crap, I followed the link to 20 Tap.

Damn damn damn. And I live in the Pacific Northwest, where there's no shortage of local brews and terrific grub.

Up to now the only reason I was willing to accept that Indiana didn't suck was Tam moved there. But maybe there are other reasons.

T.Stahl said...

I think people should just wear proper boots and gaiters. :-)

Netpackrat said...

I think if people want the walk shoveled, they should shovel it themselves.

Justthisguy said...

Heh. I mind the time in A'lanna when I was staying with the woman with the broken shoulders, etc. We had a bit of a snowfall, and she decided to break out her snowshoes and see if they still worked. They didn't. The lacing, being not leather, but old crumbly plastic, crumbled.

She was right upset, seeing that her snowshoes were of the finest kind, bought from Eddie Bauer, made of the best aluminum alloy and latest plastic.

Now, this was back in maybe the ninety-third year of the previous century, but even then, Eddie Bauer had turned into a chick-boutique clothing firm, instead of an outfitter. I tried to break it to her gently that she would likely get no satisfaction from E. B. if she bitched about the snowshoes.

That reminds me of what happened to Abercrombie and Fitch. I thought they sold shootin' and fishin' stuff. Not any more, just bad clothing for bad people who wear such a demeanor that you have to restrain yerself from walking over and slapping them

Tam said...

"I think if people want the walk shoveled, they should shovel it themselves."

I like that!

Does that mean if I want the that dog to shut up, I should shut it up myself? Or if I want the neighbor's trash cans out of the street, I should set them on the trunk of her Accord myself?

This will be awesome!

Tam said...

T. Stahl,

People were.

Just because I'm wearing waterproof boots doesn't make it okay for my neighbor to piss on them. :)

(NB: While there is a city ordinance on the books requiring the clearing of walks, I disagree with it being a matter of law. One can shun inconsiderate jerks without resorting to the legal code. However, should somebody slip and bust their tailbone on an un-cleared walk past noon or so, I would happily sit on that civil court jury. :) )

Tam said...

"And there are no regulations requiring..."

There shouldn't be.

There shouldn't be regulations requiring you to mow your lawn, or not keep vehicles up on blocks in the lawn, or take a dump your front porch, or say 'please', and 'thank you'.

People should be allowed to be as uncouth as they want to be. Conversely, they shouldn't get a case of the butthurt when others call them on their boorish inconsideration of others.

Some monkeys are unfit to live too close to the watering hole; they keep getting their poop in it.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

They can take my porch terlet when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

Also, it allows me to recycle junk mail, as the porcelain is close to my mailbox.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

There was a big hooroar in Indy about three or four years ago when the local code enforcement jerks started citing businesses for not clearing their walks after a big snow. I remember the manager of our local Pizza Hut telling us that they came in and threatened to cite her if the sidewalk wasn't cleared by noon. Notwithstanding the fact that the sidewalk was piled with snow because the city snowplows had put it there.

Haven't heard much about it since.

LCB said...

The only thing wrong with this is the word SHOVEL!!! Us'ns with challenged backs don't shovel...we press the little button that starts the snow blower. Turns the whole "SHOVEL" thingy in to loads of fun!!! :-)

Brandon said...

What kind of case do you have on your iThingy there? Looks nice and unobtrusive.

perlhaqr said...

Forget the sandwich, I want that beer! That sounds right up my alley. Yowza.

perlhaqr said...

Oh, my, lord. I just followed the link. If I ever happen to be out there for one of y'all's monthly meetings, can we go there?

Anonymous said...

Even though there is no implied duty to clear the walks here-abouts after a snow, I had another reason to shove fat water out of the way. My neighbors were in their 80's, and the way to the parking area from our condo buildings was through the patio. After a snow storm, it could bet to be 3+ feet deep in between the patio fences. Before they both passed, they always expressed their thanks and the wife's smile through the glass door would warm a man up no matter what the wind chill. I put it down as being neighborly.


LCB said...

One of my self justifications for getting a blower (besides my two back surgeries) was that I'd be able to help out an older neighbor.

But what do you do when he complains about it...that your not throwing the snow the right way? It had to be toward the street you see...not in to his yard.

Thankfully...the neighbor in between us got his own blower and started doing it for him.

LCB said...

Ummm...Tam...I don't think the codes are working correctly. I just posted with only typing in 1/2 of the two keys.

JustSomeGuy said...


shove fat water out of the way

Fat water. I find my fancy tickled.

And you were being downright neighborly. The sort of neighborly I'd welcome as my neighbor.


LCB said...

oh...maybe it's because I'm authenticating with my Gmail account. I'll submit this one without typing in anything...see what happens.

That didn't work...I tried just number...that didn't work...just the word...that didn't the word is in second place...let me see if it works with just the word now...

Netpackrat said...

"Does that mean if I want the that dog to shut up, I should shut it up myself? Or if I want the neighbor's trash cans out of the street, I should set them on the trunk of her Accord myself?"

A friend of mine did just that with a neighbor's dog. Got out of bed, got dressed, went out and untied the dog, and dropped the tailgate on his pickup truck. The dog hopped on in, for his final road trip. Problem solved, and nothing was ever said about the missing dog.

The neighbor's garbage cans in the street don't particularly bother me, but it also doesn't particularly bother me if somebody comes along and decides to play bumper cars with them.

Law or not, I don't understand why, if the city decides to build a sidewalk across the easement on my property, it is somehow considered rude of me not to maintain it at my own expense. Chances are good I didn't want it there in the first place.

Kristophr said...

Netpackrat: [i]Chances are good I didn't want it there in the first place.[/i]

Perhaps we could borrow a page from Australia. If you are jobless and on the dole long enough there, they put you to work doing menial chores for the State, like sweeping sidewalks.

T.Stahl said...

Yes, madam.
Of course I recognize that not everybody is able or inclined to wear Lowa Combat Boots or any equivalent throughout winter.
There are people who depend on a cleared and sanded sidewalk to get from A to B.

BTW, I Germany you can sue the owner of the property the sidewalk belongs to if you fall and hurt yourself because it wasn't cleared properly.

Anonymous said...

Anyone can sue anyone. You can indict a ham sandwich as they say. That doesn't mean you can collect, or that your lawyer won't be disbarred for frivolous law suits.

Kristophr said...

Anonymous 9:11 PM:

If the rest of the neighborhood has cleared their sidewalks, and the mailman breaks his leg slipping on your uncleared sidewalk, trust me ... the lawsuit will not be frivolous.

It will be expensive.

Spud said...

Some of still do such things just to be good neighbors, it don't always have to be all about me. Or because the snow Nazi's make ya do it.

Ed said...

When I had my first apartment in an urban neighborhood in a four family building, I needed to park in the street on the side opposite from my building. The elderly couple that lived on that side of the street in a single family home always smiled and waved to me, and the husband was not in the best of health. The first serious snow storm, after shoveling the walk in front of my building and the snow around my car, I shoveled the walk across the street, their front steps and continued on to their driveway, making sure that they could get to their car. The wife came out to thank me and offered me money for my efforts. I refused, saying I was just returning the good neighbor favor. She returned with a bottle of good whiskey and a shot glass on a tray and explained that her husband insisted. It was 10 AM. I do not and did not ordinarily drink alcohol that early in the day. I accepted the offered good neighbor favor. You have to be adaptable sometimes.