Monday, March 04, 2013

I am irrationally angered by this.

Vandals broke into the garage at a Monroe home on Sunday, possibly looking for money. When they didn't find any, they poured paint and oil everywhere, including all over boxes of Girl Scout cookies.
Okay, thievery is bad enough, and so is vandalism, but what kind of giant douchecanoe destroys Girl Scout cookies? What did those thin mints ever do to you?

Hurting little kids' feelings and destroying cookies; that's some real class there, man. I'll bet that earns you tons of respect and street cred.

37 comments:

mikee said...

I recall an episode (way back) of Hill Street Blues where a B&E of the Captain's home included the deposit of turds on the living room rug. The Captain was worried this was some form of cryptic threat to his family, until he was reassured that the sort of people who do break-ins have a mentality close to feral dogs.

If they can't steal it, despoiling it runs a close second best, and means absolutely nothing other than identifying the perpetrators as lowlife scum.

Boat Guy said...

We're not looking for higher-order thought and consideration in low-rents who break into a garage "looking for money" - are we?

Robert said...

Maybe they heard about that guy that had millions in gold in his garage and thought it was typical...

Erin Palette said...

What kind of idiot destroys Thin Mints when they are ripe for the eating?

The only cookie destroying I do is with my tummy.

Carteach said...

You are NOT irrationally angered by their actions.

Good manners are a species survival trait, and what those cretins did is a step backwards in the survivability of the human race, albeit a small and common one.

They were raised as spoiled valueless brats who learned to get what they want by taking it, or throwing fits till it was given them. These are NOT species survival traits.... not even with baboons.

Phillip said...

Our Cub Scout meeting got cancelled last weekend because the church daycare we meet in had been broken into and vandalized. Unpleasant for the church to deal with, aggravating for us to not have our CS meeting, and just a generally crappy thing to do.

I imagine if they had tried doing it with the Cub Scouts there, they might not have made it back out in one piece. And that's just the leaders, let alone giving them to some of the feral boys in the pack. :-)

rickn8or said...

As I've said before, "Every time I think humanity has hit absolute rock bottom, they start with the pickaxes in the sub-basement."

Thin Mints??

Get a rope.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Rope's too good for them. Toss 'em off a cliff. Or into an active volcano. Or out of that dude's Red Bull capsule without a space suit or a parachute.

Justin said...

Am I missing something? Why didn't they just TAKE the Thin Mints?? That would have been wrong, but at least it would have been comprehensible. But destroying the Thin Mints!!??!...that's...that's just...[brain sizzles and halts]

Anonymous said...

"Get a rope."

Overkill. I was thinking of the Singapore Caning myself.

Gerry

Joseph said...

Call me a cynic, but I think it was an inside job by girl scouts who was tired of selling cookies.

Aesop said...

Remember this the next time some lib-tard or their elected braindead lap puppies start yapping about how they only want to release "non-violent" felons early.

In my utopia, early release means unchaining you from the oar because they can't find a pulse, the body is starting to smell bad enough to offend the other rowers, and its affecting the speed of the galley.

Anonymous said...

I think Aesop has it about right, along with the rest of the commenters.

There comes a point where attempting to deal with certain perpetrators at a rational level is a complete waste of time. I have it on good authority that almost all major metropolitan areas in America are equipped with dumpsters of varying sizes and large plastic bags are not in short supply.

Jennifer said...

I will never understand vandalism. And ruining girl scout cookies?
That's just...
I don't even.

Anonymous said...

The act was all about violation. Often house breakers in California will defecate on the carpet to mark their violation of your space after burglarizing you.

Jay G said...

In Joe Biden's world it would be perfectly legal to shoot someone that did this.

As long as you did it through a door...

Bram said...

Justin, I'm with you. I'm no thief, but I would love a Thin Mint right now.

Jim said...

An apt punishment would be to make the bastards actually EAT all the thin mints that they'd despoiled.

Every last one of them. Every crumb.

I don't care how sick they got, or even if the contaminants were deadly.

Make sure all the other prisoners watch the festivities, too.

Other convicted burglars can be assigned the clean-up detail. Only fitting that they get to deal with the mess that their bros made in their cellblock!



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Ted N said...

Yet another offense added to the list of things that earn you a spot in the special hell.

Rotten damned animals. I don't care if they're people shaped, they should be put down anyway.

LCB said...

Probably done by a Girl Scout momma that wanted her precious child to sell the most cookies in her troop...bragging rights, yah know...

Ohhh kayy...I hope my cynicism is wrong here...not real proud of that thought...

Joel said...

A line from a movie comes to mind:

"Your mother must be so proud of you."

Kristophr said...

Why do the Vandals always get the bad press?

What about the Visi-Goths and the Lombards?

Anonymous said...

@Ted N - "Rotten damned animals. I don't care if they're people shaped,"

"People shaped" - I am SO stealing that.....

Richard_R

CMonster said...

I am very upset by the wanton waste of perfectly good cookies, but other than that, scumbags are scumbags and I cannot fathom their reasons for doing anything. Same thing about people who shoot signs, dump their trash on public lands, throw beer cans out the window, paint gang sign on my mother's toolshed, and so on.

--Cookie

Bubblehead Les. said...

Shows you how stupid those scumbags are. Do you know how much you could get SELLING those Thin Mints on the Street?

And you KNOW there would be people to buy them.

Just more proof that we live in a Declining Civilization.

BobG said...

Not only thieves, but assholes, too.

Anonymous said...

@ Les
"Selling" seems a lot like work. These creatures would work very hard at not working.

Drang said...

It was the Campfire Girls.

Brad K. said...

Every once in a while, an SF author will attempt to define evil. The one that works for me is that evil will destroy something that it cannot possess, rather than let someone else own it.

In this case, the evildoers were bound and determined to *hurt* the home they invaded. They chose a home to rob, and went on to cause more damage than just removing cherished and valued possessions.

Girl scout cookies, now, I have an issue with -- this is a deliberate commercial exploitation of young people, pawning off cookies as "fund raisers", shamelessly deceiving the Girl Scouts involved that they are benefitting their community by selling cookies in excess of what the community wants and needs.

As for the Girl Scout Cookies in the home invasion? That is sick -- a deliberate attack, intending hurt, on symbols of community growth (however abusive and deceptive they might be in the lives of the community), that is only available at a particular season.

This whole home invasion thing is disrespect run amok. Evil. And not about theft, really, except as a way to harm others.

Buzz said...

I've always thought vandalism to be as bad or worse than theft.
At least with theft, there's possibility of recovery.

Bob said...

Look who got name-checked by Massad Ayoob!

Aesop said...

BTW Tam,

What makes you think that your anger over this is irrational?

staghounds said...

I think the "irrational" comes from the fact that the previous story in the same newspaper was about two teenagers being shot, the one before that was two men found shot to death in a car, yet damaged cookies is what gets the anger.

Aesop said...

Nothing irrational there.
The universe winnows out humans with the profligacy of dandelions sowing seeds on a windy day. And we've all been angry enough to think the thought about adding to the tally, even if not to do the deed.

Whereas the only time I vandalized Girl Scout cookies was as an adolescent when I selflessly hurled myself on an entire unopened box of Thin Mints to save my brother from their chocolatey terrors. He failed to see it that way, but that's gratitude for you.

Stretch said...

The veneer of civilization is worn through in places and peeled off in others.
The Crazy Years have begun.
It wont get better anytime soon.
Off to sort tumbled brass.

Justthisguy said...

Girl Scout cookies? They ruined Girl Scout cookies?

When we catch them, it's no quarter and no mercy for them.

They deserve an Horrible Screaming Death.

John B said...

If they did it here, I'd find them and hurt them! Hurt them really bad.


And the cops saw nuttin!