View From The Porch: When I get high, I get high on speed...

Saturday, March 09, 2013

When I get high, I get high on speed...

Well, this is a triumph of target marketing:

Ooh! Yeah!

There's actual fruit juice in there somewhere, so there are theoretically vitamins and minerals and suchlike...

30 comments:

N said...: THERE ARE ADVANTAGES TO BEING ON A MODIFIED VEGAN DIET THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM

OMIT SUGARS ARTIFICIAL EVERYTHINGS
REDUCE ACIDITY IN BLOOD WILL PROVIDE
REGIMEN ON REQUEST; 9:10 AM, March 09, 2013
Angus McThag said...: 5% Juice.

I know who a three percenter is.

Who's a five percenter?

Never mind who.

They make juice from them!?!

KICKSTART IS PEOPLE

KICKSTART IS PEOPLE

KICKSTART IS PEOPLE; 9:10 AM, March 09, 2013
Tam said...: There's nothing wrong with cannibalism, so long as the right people get cannibalized.; 9:15 AM, March 09, 2013
og said...: Now youre speaking my language.; 9:18 AM, March 09, 2013
Roberta X said...: McThag, McThag, it's so very simple: "5% Juice" is made by juicing one 3%er and two 1%ers.

Bigawd, it'll put hair on yer hair. If it don't kill you to death.; 9:18 AM, March 09, 2013
BGMiller said...: I went into arrhythmia just looking at the can.

Painkillers.
Caffeine greater than LD50.
Weapons grade snark.

Oh this can only end badly.....

BGM; 9:32 AM, March 09, 2013
AuricTech said...: I would have thought that the folks at Pepsi could finance new products without resorting to Kickstarter. Guess I was wrong...; 9:33 AM, March 09, 2013
Buzz said...: Never was a follower of Lost, the show, but the juice-based energy drink that was co-branded was good stuff.
Hard to find, probably off the market now.; 9:34 AM, March 09, 2013
Home on the Range said...: I just woke up from the most awful dream of Anita Bryant after she chugged a couple cans of this stuff.; 9:43 AM, March 09, 2013
George Groot said...: Huh, orange juice has always been an ingredient in Mountain Dew.

I wonder if the percentage is any different than regular mountain dew?; 10:05 AM, March 09, 2013
Tam said...: AM,

Sure tastes that way. Also tastes like they pumped it full of Niacin and B vitamins... Is it hot in here, or is it just me?; 10:08 AM, March 09, 2013
Ator said...: Man, just looking at that can makes me want to skydive naked.

TANTRUM!!!; 10:29 AM, March 09, 2013
greg said...: It says caffeine right on the label. You mean that's not a vitamin?; 10:46 AM, March 09, 2013
KM said...: REDUCE ACIDITY IN BLOOD

:cough: bullsit :cough:
The human body runs in a very narrow range of pH.
Respiratory and metabolic acidosis/alkalosis is constantly being monitored and changed to maintain that very narrow range.

Trying to change your pH is a fools errand and will do nothing except leave your caps key stuck.; 10:57 AM, March 09, 2013
Thomas said...: Sure tastes that way. Also tastes like they pumped it full of Niacin and B vitamins... Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

The definitive way to tell if it is just you, can anyone else in the room can hear your heartbeat?; 12:08 PM, March 09, 2013
ravenshrike said...: Or you could half and half Orangina with normal Dew and pop two of these http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/bed8/

with the same effect but tasting much better.; 12:34 PM, March 09, 2013
Jay G said...: Did Tam really just quote MOTLEY CRUE LYRICS?; 12:50 PM, March 09, 2013
Kristophr said...: Angus McThag:

Food?

No ... you can get 80 gallons of Soylent Diesel from each metric ton of dead hippie.; 1:27 PM, March 09, 2013
Buzz said...: Tam,

Those who should be cannibalized probably wouldn't taste very good.

Patchouli and something vaguely like burning leaves would make the meat gamey, while the acrid taste of self-loathing and hypocrisy would require marinating in milk to remove the bite.

The more honest among them, especially young female vegans with lots of fruit intake, might approach the sweetness of lobster.; 4:08 PM, March 09, 2013
Ancient Woodsman said...: I suppose I should go get one before Mikey B. starts to lambaste those in Washington for not doing enough to reduce the scourge of energy drinks.

Seems like all of the good things in life share that "desired to be banned by Bloomberg" connnection.; 5:02 PM, March 09, 2013
AuricTech said...: Seems like all of the good things in life share that "desired to be banned by Bloomberg" connection.

Here's hoping that Hizzoner doesn't find out that people enjoy having sex....; 7:48 PM, March 09, 2013
og said...: most carnivorous mammals (dogs, big cats) have a strange flavor, and omnivores (Bears, raccoons) are barely better. Some of the omnivorous ungulates like hogs are extra tasty,and I am told whale bacon is unspeakably toothsome, so even a wholly carniverous ungulate is good to eat.

For my money, though, herbivores are the tastiest. And the patchoili is on the outside, like the brand on a cow. That goes into making seats on expensive sports cars.; 7:58 PM, March 09, 2013
Buzz said...: I've had raw whale, but I'll need to put whale bacon as a food quest for my upcoming trip.

My mouth is already watering in anticipation of geso, shishamo, and kobukuro.; 8:12 PM, March 09, 2013
Gewehr98 said...: I bought a bunch of 'em, both the orange and fruit punch versions. Is it wrong that I can hear my own heartbeat?; 10:11 PM, March 09, 2013
Bubblehead Les. said...: Well, I LOVE Mountain Dew, that's made by Mountain Dew, so I'll give it a Try.

Besides, it looks like it would be Illegal in New York City, and anyway I can to help keep Mickey Bloomberg's Knickers in a Twist...; 12:53 AM, March 10, 2013
Micki Mahoney said...: @Tam: Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

"It's OK, I've taken something. I can see things no-one else can see. Why are you dressed like that?"; 6:40 AM, March 10, 2013
perlhaqr said...: I hope they at least licensed the song for the commercials.

Also: "Caffeine: The other Vitamin C"; 8:52 AM, March 10, 2013
Joseph said...: Jack: "This does what again, exactly?"

Egg: "HUGE BUZZ!"; 11:28 AM, March 10, 2013
Anonymous said...: Whoa, yeah! Lets rock the house!

Since I was 12-13 when I first heard that ditty, its been a game to substitute the word heart with fart in various tunes.

There are some things you wish you could forget.; 5:09 PM, March 10, 2013
Buzz said...: On your advice, I picked one up at the grocery after riding.

Less syrupy, less sweet, more fruity than Mountain Dew. I like it better.

I'm not bouncing off the walls.; 9:42 PM, March 10, 2013