Thursday, March 14, 2013

We live in tents and buy guns to kill each other...

...and we've eaten all the birds.

North Korea tells its people to cheer up, because no matter how many sacrifices they must make to defend the revolution from wreckers and from the imperialist running dogs and lackeys to the south, at least they don't have to live in America!
The Dear Leader loves me
This I know
For he makes me coffee
With melted snow!
I remember back in the '80s, when they showed The Day After on TV, they also showed a Soviet propaganda documentary filmed in... I think it was some of the rougher areas of Kansas City? ...on how bad life in the U.S. was, and my first thought was that some poor guy on Red Banner Tractor Collective #415 was going to look at these blighted urban streets with their chain-link-fenced unkempt lawns and plywood-covered windows and think "Look at all the cars!"

37 comments:

Bram said...

I've heard that Stalin showcased "The Grapes of Wrath" in 1940. It backfired when Russian audiences were amazed that the poorest Americans had cars.

Anonymous said...

His rantings sound like a game plan off of Obozo's plan for america. He's destroying this country with the help of a bunch of blind spineless liberals and I'm fed up. We're North Korea in the making if we don't do something to stop Obozo.

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck let the North Koreans into Detroit?

Oh, wait, she said Republican candidate from Oregon, so the thing was shot in Portland. This all makes sense now.

Shootin' Buddy

Stuart the Viking said...

This sort of thing always makes me wonder if all that we hear of places like China, North Korea, Cuba, etc. are really real, or if we live in the same kind of misinformation bubble and are just to stupid to know it.

Yes, my mind drifts to the absurd sometimes. However, there is probably some boy sitting somewhere in North Korea having the same thoughts, and also considering them absurd....

damnit... let me off this mental marry-go-round. It's just as bad as the "if I was insane... how would I know" one.

s

sepulvedasrevenge said...

I usually get up at 5:00 am anyway but this morning I'll have a few cups of coffee and go get in line at WalMart hoping some .22lr and .45acp arrived with the ammo shipment last night. People do this here every Thursday morning and buy up everything in an hr.

Like I've said before, at least we're not running short of bacon or toilet paper yet.

docjim505 said...

Wait... is this North Korean propaganda, or a democrat campaign commercial from '04 or '08?

Anonymous said...

According to the Youtube version, this video is by a group called North Korea Comedy Show, i.e. satire. (h/t sweasel.com )

AliceH

perlhaqr said...

I loved the line "The American Red Cross provides curtains for walls made with materials from North Korea".

I mean, does North Korea make anything? (Other than grinding poverty and the corollary to massive malnutrition: really short people.)

Bram said...

Stuart the Viking - I've had that same thought - then I traveled and saw some real dumps.

Turk Turon said...

The typical North Koreans are going to look at that footage of homeless Americans and say, "Look at those COATS!"

Joanna said...

Reminds me of the anecdote I read about how the Soviets told their people that Americans were so poor and degenerate, the elderly were reduced to eating cat food. To which their people replied, "They can afford to have food made specifically for cats?"

Boat Guy said...

"Look at all the cars!" Not a single Lada or Trabant in the mix - even the Chevette beat all but the Politburo cars...
and yeah "look at all the coats" might also be "Look at all the fat!"

Tam said...

AliceH,

"According to the Youtube version, this video is by a group called North Korea Comedy Show, i.e. satire. (h/t sweasel.com )"

Still, it seems truthy, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Tam: "Still, it seems truthy, doesn't it?"

Yes. Yes, it does. :)

AliceH

Anonymous said...

Ah, you had snow coffee eh?
Well we couldn't afford snow coffee because we were poor.

Oue coffee was made from air and it was always cold, bitterly cold, even in the heat of summer.

You children of capitalist pig dogs don't know how easy you have it these days.

Gerry

mikee said...

You had air for your coffee? You lucky rich person!

We had to use the frozen vacuum of space for our coffee, and it was an uphill walk to get it, and an even steeper uphill walk getting it home.

And we were so poor we only knew about capitalists, not capitalist pigs.

Anonymous said...

What we would have given for a hill. We dreamed of a hill. All we had was a black void, an endless black void.

Try walking in an endless black void with no shoes then you'll know what poor is.

Gerry

Bubblehead Les. said...

Gerry, YOU had FEET? Why, I remember being so poor when I lived in the Hamptons that we used to eat our Feet just to have something to Snack on in the back of the BMWs on our way to shop at Saks Mid-Town!

Anonymous said...

perlhaqr -
Several South Korean and Chinese companies have manufacturing facilities in North Korea. They get cheap labor, and the North Korean government gets valuable foreign currency and a reduction in the unemployment rate.

Anonymous said...

Bah! Luxury! We not only ate our feet, we had to eat our legs, just to have the enrgy to crawl to the snow coffee line, to get the leftovers of the birds that the rich poor people had eaten. It was uphill, in 2 feet of snow, even in the summer, and then we'd crawl home to the portion of old paper towel we lived under by a bush in the forest.

Andy in San Diego and Elsewhere said...

There are some serious questions about the legitimacy of the video. First off, was it even filmed in the US? Some spots definitely were, but some...not so much. Also the "translation/voice over" doesn't seem to be legit. It's fun, in any case.

Stuart the Viking said...

Bram - How can I believe you? You could be "in on it". Are you even a person or are you one of the AI's THEY use to control the peopl... perhaps, I have said too much.

s

~Katherine~ said...

Shootin' Buddy:

"Who the fuck let the North Koreans into Detroit?"

My sister lives 30 minutes from Detroit. From everything she's said about any time she's had to drive into Detroit for one reason or another, the North Koreans are welcome to Detroit. Divinity-of-choice knows that no one else, including Michigan, wants it.

Anonymous said...

A bush? We had to cut down all the bushes to make paper towels for the rich people to live under.

It was hard work with only a half cup of bitterly cold air coffee as food for the week.

Gerry

PoppaJ said...

We got evicted from our bush and had to go live in a lake. We would get up at 4am every day and clean the lake then crawl on our footless stumps to get in line for our air-coffee and a bit of gravel to eat.

Stretch said...

The thing East European Cold War defectors found most incredible were our grocery stores.
"Where do the proletariat shop?" they'd ask after walking through a D.C. area store.
A road trip to rural America usually convinced them. They all LOVED Amish country and Amish family style restaurants.

Tam said...

Andy,

"There are some serious questions about the legitimacy of the video."

It's almost certainly bogus. But still plenty truthy. :)

Shrimp said...

Darn, I didn't get my DPRK doughnut. What the hell? That's what I get for buying guns to shoot the birds. I missed out on the free goodies from North Korea.

Shrimp said...

At least you had a lake. Our lake was drained to make way for a new coffee cup factory. We had to crawl on bloody stumps from our dry lake bed to the factory where all 193 of us children worked for 28 hours each day. Then we'd come home, go to bed without anything to eat, have to get up the next morning before we went to bed and do it all over again. And we we're glad to do it.

Kristophr said...

OK then.

Americans have guns. They can shoot people that attack them.

If it snows, and they have no home, they are provided with tents and corridors to live in, and can line up for food.

If they are really destitute, they can shoot birds and eat them.


I don't think the party apparatchiks in North Korea realize how attractive they are making America to the North Koreans who are not party members.

Kristophr said...

It's satire?

Damned. Looked like real NORK propaganda to me.

Oh well.

NotClauswitz said...

After "We live in tents and buy guns to kill each other...and we've eaten all the birds." I was going to say, "So You've been to Hollywood then?" But Detroit seems more apropos.

Oleg Volk said...

"This sort of thing always makes me wonder if all that we hear of places like China, North Korea, Cuba, etc. are really real, or if we live in the same kind of misinformation bubble and are just to stupid to know it."

North Korea is covered quite a bit by travelers from Russia...their summary is "like Russian in the late 1940s...at best."

kishnevi said...

"at least they have cars"

At least the truth comes out from a simple slip of the keyboard. It was Tam who wrote Hunt for Red October, not Tom Clancy.

(Remember the scene from the book in which the Russian sub crew is purposefully driven through the slums of Washington DC?)

Anonymous said...

This comment section is so full of win.

jf

Don M said...

Soviet Propaganda: "In US, old people are so poor, they must eat catfood."

Soviet subject: "In US they have a special food for cats? What kind of place is that?"

Don M said...

"Why does Trabant have rear window defroster?"

"So you can keep your hands warm when you push!"