Saturday, April 08, 2006

As cool as I wanna be.


Go to Kit's Livejournal and read this post. Now.
One day I said "I don't like who I am." I didn't like my lack of self-esteem, or how I looked, or how I behaved. And it wasn't because someone else didn't like it - I had never made any significant change in my life for another person, be it a parent, boyfriend, or friend, much less some invisible negative arch-enemy like "society." I am smart enough to know when I'm being manipulated by a covergirl at the checkout stand at the supermarket, thank you very much.

So I did something about it.
I can so identify with that. I spent the first part of my life internalizing other's judgements of me. I was shy, uncomfortable in social situations, and spent a lot of time feeling unworthy of much of anything. I can clearly remember, even though it was some seventeen years ago, my moment of epiphany; the instant I realized that adult life didn't have to be an ongoing remake of The Breakfast Club with me stuck in the Ally Sheedy role by chains of my own making. And so I set out on a deliberate course: I decided that I love me and, dammit, I'm going to act like it.

And the world became a different (and more fun) place.


freddyboomboom said...

I'm glad you did.

phlegmfatale said...

And why shouldn't you love yourself? You're fabulous!