Sunday, October 21, 2007

Blog Stuff: Gee, you're tall.

So I was at the outpost of the Vast Petroleum Conspiracy yesterday morning, when this guy fills the doorway...

Let me break off for a minute and mention that behind the counter is a raised platform about ten inches high, so add that to my five-twelve and I get plenty of "Gee, you're tall!" every day. (Actually, my favorite is "It must be nice to be tall!" To which I reply "Only when I'm not trying to buy jeans.") Anyhow...

...when this guy fills the doorway. I glance involuntarily at the height-measuring tape by the door, and it says he's close enough to seven feet as to make no nevermind. And I don't mean basketball seven feet, either; I'm talking cave troll seven feet. The dude is just flat huge.

And he glances behind the counter and there I'm standing, and seeing me has the same effect on him that seeing a pony has on a five-year-old; he just lit up. "How tall are you? Dang you've got pretty hair! What color is that? Hey, you're not wearing a wedding ring. We could make NBA babies! Lemme see how tall you are; step down here. You're real cute when you blush like that." I've never stood that close to someone who was 6'10" before; I felt downright petite. Anyhow, it made my morning.


Mudflapgypsy said...

Is 5 12 not 6 feet?

(pedantic old me)

That story made me smile, thanks.

Anonymous said...

Sounds to me that you have an admirer,he will be back or was he just passing though!

Drew UK

Anonymous said...

At 6' 3" I don't run into many men that are more than an inch or two taller than me. When I do I find it uncomfortable--kind of intimidating even if their personality isn't.

I sometimes wonder if I have the same effect on people that are several inches shorter than me.

Now women that are over 6' tall... they have pretty much the same effect on me that they did on your customer. But my wife would frown if I were to express that much interest so I don't.

Side note, can we just shorten "Vast Petroleum Conspiracy" to "VPC"? It amuses me to think, "Tam is working for the VPC now."


Roberta X said...

Kewl! Major positive buzz, no?

Yeah, the tall/proportionate ones are (oh, I'll say it) dreamy and the best ones are the guys who have become frustrated with shorties. It's a joy to encounter them.

Guys like that make me feel about fifteen and blushingly unkissed (or maybe 7 and it's time to crawl into Uncle's lap and be read stories, which either isn't all that romantic or it's a little weird if it is but oh well).

You didn't ask if he had any brothers, did you?

Zendo Deb said...

You should start a chapter of Tall International. (Minimum height for women is 5' 10")

I went to one meeting when I was in Miami - very strange feeling.

Anonymous said...

Here ya go, a little song about his plight.

Just As Long As Me

Although I prefer these videos by the same guy to songs by the same guy.

Code Monkey

re: Your Brains

Why yes, that third one is about zombies. ;)

Anonymous said...

For awhile in the '70s, until our jobs took us to different states, I dated a wonderful woman who stood 6'1" - and I'm 5'7". High heels put her over 6'3", and I usually wear loafers. Great reactions when we'd walk into a restaurant - or even Micky Dee's. Guys would drool, and wives/girfriends would smack them a shot. We both had fun with it. OldeForce [whose wife is 5'7"]

Anonymous said...

Tall folks mixing it up with tall folks of the opposite sex could explain my sons, (my 24 yr. old baby boy is 6'5") and the 14yr old, 6 ft. red headed grand daughter.


Bonnie said...

Brian P - Just as an aside, that last link is to the Code Monkey video, as well...

That's the link to the Zombie video. I love that song, and the production company I work for used it in their last film for roll-credits. It was great.

Tam, that's the cutest story. :-)

phlegmfatale said...

I'll bet he thought you were cute even when you weren't blushing. :)

Anonymous said...

How does that old tune go?

Tall and blonde and lovely, the girl from VFTP goes walking, and when she passes each one she passes goes "aahh."

Don said...

Anonymous, we just tell ourselves that our center of gravity is lower. ;)

(I always knew Matt was weird, but I didn't know he was in Georgia this week)

Anonymous said...

Whoops. I got the links for Code Monkey and re: Your Brains reversed.

Anonymous said...

It's a little known fact that Tam goes up to five twelve.

Which is like five eleven, just one louder....

Bob Hawkins said...

Oh sure you're 5 foot 12, but it's all legs.

Anonymous said...

Not that big of a deal to me. 3rd older brother is 6' 10". 2nd brother is 6' 4", and I am 6' 5".

Being tall is a pain. Hard to find clothes, hard to find jackets and jeans, sit in planes etc. If you are not tall, you don't understand that doors are a problem, and you have to duck for door closers. You can't find a normal sized beds, airline seats never fit etc.

Try to buy a sports car when you are tall. Most of the nice ones are way too small. Thus it is a land of pickups and big SUV's.

Try to find a good dancing partner. My wife (of over 20 years) is "normal" sized. Terrible to dance with as she only comes to my shoulder to the top of her head. Before we were married I used to put a beer on her head as it was the perfect resting height at a party.

My only hope is that our children wil be taller then my wife but shorter then me. 5 ft 12 inch will do just fine.

theirritablearchitect said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
theirritablearchitect said...

"If you are not tall, you don't understand that doors are a problem...normal sized beds, airline seats never fit...sports car are way too small"

I don't see how you truly big people get around.

I'm 5'10" and I still have some of the troubles that you mentioned. Getting in and out of my wife's late model Eclipse is almost like watching some sort of twisted sport, an uncoordinated geriatric attempting to perform gymnastics or something. Once in, moving to seat back to its rear most position still leaves my forehead almost touching the windshield crossbar at the roof.

I'm convinced that stuff gets designed for and around the use of midgets, and having some professional experience at this gives at least a modicum of credence to my suppositions, I think.

Oh, and I hate blogger too. Effing word verification.

Anonymous said...

At 6'7", I feel for the guy. You have no idea, you shorter guys, what a treat it is to have a conversation with a women you don't have bend down to hear.

There's not many tall women, and all the short guys are poaching.

As to sporty cars, I've been shopping recently, and "Mini Cooper S" w/o the @#$@#$ Sunroof works for me. The rear seats are pointless in that car (unless you really short inthe front) but they fold down and then you have a nice zippy 2 seater 6 speed tranny with a decent 24 cubic feet cargo compartment.
BMW Z's, Honda, and all the rest are just hopeless. So is _every_ modern sedan I've tried that has a sunroof.

Anonymous said...

Penn Jillette (six-six) used to say that the sweetest sound on earth was a woman's voice saying "Ooh, I could wear heels with you."

Anonymous said...

I'll bet Labrat knows something about how this works, in light of genetic discoveries: short women can bear tall sons (presumably could bear tall daughters, if they only cared enough); tall fathers regularly sire short daughters. What gene is attached where? WHY?

I can't comment further. It's just too painful.

Anonymous said...

I don't know this for sure, I'm just making a most-sense guess, but it's probably that mothers have more genetic influence over the stature of their offspring than fathers do.

Forget the "war between the sexes" that is romance, the real war goes on in the womb. Fathers contribute genes that encourage the developing infant to suck down more of the mother's resources and grow larger and more robust at her expense, mothers contribute genes that stunt the baby a bit to give Mom more room to breathe, and that's just the beginning. It's pretty murky at the moment, mostly because it's a new field, mostly because it had only recently occurred to anyone that a mother and her fetus could actually be at odds.

It's probably just one area where female biology currently has the "upper hand".

Rabbit said...

My cousin is 6'4 and wears a size 58 sport coat. His sister is 6'1. Their father, my blood kin, was my height; their mother is 6 feet even.

I'm just glad that I'm 'normal sized', even if I do have to hunt for jeans in my waist size with a 36 inch inseam.

So, Tam, when are you going out with Godzilla?


Anonymous said...

Tamara blushes?

Who knew?

(Yes, I like tall wimmens too!)

daddyquatro said...

As I'm apparently the only small person in the room, allow me to say (quietly) that if I see another commercial for "Big and Tall" I'm gonna puke.
The biggening of America has made it next to impossible to find a pair of jeans with a 30 inch waist.
I'm 5'6" my wife is 4'10"
A match made in heaven.
Good luck, Tam.

Strings said...

She couldn't have blushed. Just no way. I won't believe it without photographic proof... :P

You should see the International Pres of BACA: 6'7"+, and proportioned as a biker (I'd say WELL over 300#, and solid). watched him sit on a chair at a restaurant (gently), and when he turned a bit, the chair started to twist apart. we call him "Tree" because one day he'll grow up...

phlegmfatale said...

"It's pretty murky at the moment, mostly because it's a new field, mostly because it had only recently occurred to anyone that a mother and her fetus could actually be at odds."

That's funny to me, because I always thought the fetus' status was that of parasite.

breda said...

this all fits in beautifully with my "Tam is not quite human" theory.

Anonymous said...

Your point being? What do you think we're all doing here?

(Coppola, on the set:) "I said, 'scares hell out of the gooks, not the geeks'..."

Short people, pink guns (mumble mumble)

breda said...

Comatus - the word is "petite", thankyouverymuch. =P

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I'm glad to see someone else uses the 5'12" joke. Two of my sisters do as well, I find it very amusing.

LBJ said...

My Mom was 6'1. My daughter is 6'1. My brother is 6' 4".

I'm getting pretty tired at 5'8" of being "the shrimp" in the family.

Anonymous said...

My spine must be compressing. I'm 5'11" now. Once 6'0".

Friends of mine are 5'6" with 29" legs. My legs are 29".

Doctor I work with is 6'9" and our eyes are even when sitting in identical chairs.

Reckon Tam can blush, but I've never seen it.

Anonymous said...

daddyquatro, come to Northern Kentucky. I can find pants with a 30 inch waist any day of the week.

Problem is, I need pants with a 46 inch waist, and a 34 inch inseam. Apparently, around here, fat people aren't supposed to be tall, because all the 34 inch inseams have waistbands under 38 inches. And the Big & Tall stores typically start at 36 inch inseams. Weird.