Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Breaking News: Was it a conspiracy?

Who really destroyed the Death Star?
8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?
This was obviously all an excuse to drum up fear in imperial subjects so they'd support seizing the Ewok territories on the forest moon of Endor for their valuable granola mines and teddy bear factories.

10 comments:

T.Stahl said...

Now I know what to tell the next person who claims that the Twin Towers weren't brought down by the planes or who claims it wasn't LHO who killed JFK. ;-)

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

if your speculation about motives is correct, the plot went badly, badly wrong.

Anonymous said...

Do you know how much explosives it would take to blow up the Death Star? Stormtroopers would be tripping over them constantly, not to mention seeing lots of techs bringing in the explosives and miles of det cord.

However, I'm pretty sure that whatever did happen was the fault of the JOOOOOS!!!!

Brass

Jeff the Baptist said...

You know you're too much of a sci-fi fanboy when you read:

The Twin Towers weren't brought down down by the planes...

And you immediately think:

Of course not, it was all the work of those hobbits.

alpineman said...

I think it's a conspiracy that you've made ALGORE TV! Yikes!

http://www.current.tv/google/GC02636

Vogrin said...

It's not like they didn't have plenty of space inside to hide the conspiracy...

http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/109.html

B&N said...

Look what I found rolling around in the gutter Obi-Wan, it's Loose Change!

Alcibiades said...

Ha, shows what you know! There were two proton torpedoes that destroyed that Death Star!

Now the question is: Who fired that second torpedo? Was it Bothan rebels? Was it Chewbacca on the grassy knoll?

Anonymous said...

Actually, it was a number of Gore-bots among the stormtroopers. Just trying to prevent gore-ball warming. OldeForce

Sean_Galt said...

Get real. This is NOT a conspiracy theory, any more than the events surrounding Endor!
Everyone knows that it wasn't a SuperStarDestroyer that slammed into the surface of the second Death Star-
it was a giant missile the Empire fired at it themselves.
I simply cannot believe the amount of propaganda some people are willing to swallow...next, you will probably hear people blaming the Emperor's demise on Lord Vader. Geesh.