Friday, June 20, 2008

It's only missing a primered '79 Camaro...

Trailer park? Check.

Registered sex offender? Check.

Woman known by her neighbors as "Angry Tammy"? Check.

Living with unmarried boyfriend in singlewide? Check.

Louisville Slugger? Check.

Jail time? Check.

This is ABC After School Special material right here, folks.

21 comments:

Turk Turon said...

No mention of a "Red Man" baseball cap, either. But I'll bet if the boys down in the crime lab disassemble that Camaro like in "The French Connection", they'll find it under the rocker panels,

OA said...

Doghouse?

Weetabix said...

Just...wow.

I always thought that kind of thing was some kind of elitist stereotype.

Rob K said...

"Great Moments in the History of White Trash" There's gotta' be a car on blocks in there somewhere.

This is too good - the CAPTCHA: batwdj

staghounds said...

"I can't believe that he was allowed in our neighborhood", said Gibson.

What, there's an entrance exam?

Gibson said she often saw the 7 feet 3 inches tall Baldwin talking with her 10-year-old daughter.

Here's a crime tip, if you are the tallest man in the county, pick a crime that doesn't involve being seen beside children.

And if you're a convicted child molester, RUN AWAY from ten year old girls. Even if that's an "older woman" to you.

To the pervert's credit, he does SAY the right things.

John B said...

Ironically, I think I met the lady in question, here in Spokane.

Idn't it wunnerful when an acquaintence makes the noos?

Tennessee Budd said...

The girlfirend & I have #4 covered. My '81 Caprice isn't primered, though--it's closer to factory condition. Guess I'll have to try harder if I want to be famous.

Tam said...

Yes, but have you ever been called "Angry Tammy"?

The only thing on that list I've never done is beat down some perv with a bat and go to jail for it.

But it's barely after noon here...

Matt G said...

That's some goooooooood dubya tee, raght there.

We are, however, missing some double-negatives in the colloquial quotes, such as "Ain't never gonna touch nobodody again..." or "Can't nobody do nothin'..."

But you can just feel the crabgrass tickling the ankles of flip-flop-clad feet, can't you?

Tam said...

I can't make too much fun of rednecks, having actually stood in my front yard of a Friday night with a beer and a Marlboro watching auto-fellating livestock.

OA said...

Tam said...
The only thing on that list I've never done is beat down some perv with a bat and go to jail for it.
12:36 PM, June 20, 2008


Yeah, you've really got to have enough sense to do it where there are no witnesses.


Think she said "Get my bra, I'm gonna go kick his ass!"?


Ten bucks says the 10 year old's rebellion isn't going to be pretty.

OA said...

Uppity cigarettes, Tam. Hell, I bet the beer wasn't a PBR, either.

jimbob86 said...

I just finished rereading "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"..... I'm thinking this whole episode would have been prevented by swift application of loonie style justice after the perv's first mistake, provided the 5 YO's parents could figure out how to operate the airlock w/o eliminating themselves in the process............

Anonymous said...

"The only thing on that list I've never done is beat down some perv with a bat and go to jail for it."

"I can't make too much fun of rednecks, having actually stood in my front yard of a Friday night with a beer and a Marlboro watching auto-fellating livestock."

I'm thinking same episode, and the farmer gave you the beer and cigaratte as thanks.

Rick C said...

Jimbob86, where are they going to GET an airlock?

Did anyone else catch the mention that the sex offender is currently in jail, but the lack of mention as to why?

Gregg said...

Rick,
It either stated, or at least implied, that he was in jail for having failed to register within the time frame allotted. He had lived in that trailer park for several months prior to informing the State.

Anonymous said...

Most giant sex offenders can be found in the NBA...

Anonymous said...

In high school I knew a guy. He was a normal, regular guy. Or so I thought. Last time I saw him was about 10 years ago. Then we lost touch.

Recently I learned from another friend from high school that the guy is now a registered sex offender in Washington State. He's on their web page.

Seems he drugged and raped a girl from when she was 6 years old to 13 years old.

That's pretty damn disgusting. It gets worse.

I know who the girl was. She was the daughter of somebody else I know from back then. He divorced his wife, and she moved with the daughter into pervert's home.

Damn. It gets worse.

He only spent 11 months in prison. Seems the DA got "sick" and the assistant DA that replaced him cut a deal for the 11 months instead of 20 years. Damn.

This person is now free. It gets worse.

I knew this person was well off. His parents were pretty rich. His mother died a few years before his conviction and left him 10 million.

Sometimes the bad guys get all the breaks.

This women deserves a metal for at least trying to do something constructive.

bumper sticker philosopher said...

What's with all the Camaro hatin?

I've seen exactly 2 late 1970's Camaros in the last year. They were all fixed up and in mint condition. 30 year old "sports car" and all that...

I can attest that the primered shit-boxen that you see in front of trailers these days are 15 year old primered Honda Civics with fart can mufflers, stolen Acura engines and cracked, poorly attached ground effects.

Did I mention that I own a Camaro and live in a trailer?

captcha wysjo

Adrian K said...

Dang!

Puyallup's just down the road from me. Drive through there all the time.

The only thing about this that would shock me is if she got anything more than time served, since Puyallup might as well be annexed by Fort Lewis.

Not sure anybody would notice if it did happen.

Tam said...

"Did I mention that I own a Camaro and live in a trailer?"

My last F-body was an '84 Trans Am in black & gold & rust with leaky T-tops. Infinitely classier than any old Camaro. ;)