Sunday, June 15, 2008

419 Scammers usually amuse me...

If I recognize the title of an email in my spam folder as a 419 scam, I'll even occasionally open it and read it for some yuks.

This guy, however, has gone beyond the pale. This guy I would cheerfully beat to a paste with a claw hammer. And smile while doing it.
Dear Sir,
My name is Sgt .Anthony Hill; I am an American soldier with Swiss background, serving in the military with the army's 3rd infantry division. With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your kind assistance to move the sum of (US$14,600,000.000) Fourteen Million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here, this is no stolen money,and there is no danger involved.

Source of money:
Some money in various currencies was discovered in barrels at a farmhouse near one of Saddam's old palaces in Tikrit-Iraq during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by staff Sgt Kenneth buff and I that some part of this money be shared among both of us before informing anybody about it since both of us saw the money first. This was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risk we have taken with our lives in this hell hole. Of which my brother in-law was killed by a road side bomb last week. You will find the story of this money on the web address below;
The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British contact working here and his office enjoy some immunity, I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. he does not know the real contents of the package, and believes that it belongs to a British / American medical doctor who died in a raid here in Iraq, and before giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his family in united states.

I have now found a much secured way of getting the package out of Iraq to your country for you to pick up, and I will discuss this with you when I am sure that you are willing to assist me. I want you to tell me how much you will take from this money for the assistance you will give to me. One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody, should you have reasons to reject this offer, please and please destroy this message as any leakage of this information will be too bad for us soldier's here in Iraq. I do not know how long we will remain here, and I have been shot, wounded and survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other reasons I will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help, I honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately, please contact me as soon as possible my only way of communication is email. you get back to

I look forward to hear from you
Sgt. Anthony Hill

Nice, M'butu. The "" adds just the touch of authenticity to convince Aunt Edna to help out one of our boys overseas... What was wrong with pretending to be the widow of the "Finances Minister" of Zimbabwe or the son of millionaire missionaries eaten by cannibals? No, now you want to tug some gullible codger's patriotic heartstrings just in time for the Fourth of July by pretending to be an American soldier in Iraq. I hope you die of some virulent and painful tropical crotch rot.


Brian J. said...

I have called it the We Three Kings gambit.

This is the first time you've received it? Maybe you ought to do what I do and send them a dollar. That subscription will keep you up to date on the latest scams.

breda said...

"I hope you die of some virulent and painful tropical crotch rot."

Statistically, chances are good. Just sayin'.

ToAsTy! said...

Actually the address does work due to AntiTrust laws in europe. The cool thing is if you use all the time, you can put on undesirable sites and enable a filter on to filter into certain folders. Tricky eh?
Theres a few other gmail address tricks here:
Digital Inspirations 2 gmail article

Still though, i wouldn't go for the silly 419 scam. I like their whacky amounts that they find. How does one actually smuggle 14.6 million without others seeing or stealing it?

Anonymous said...

Just. Go. Read.

Somerled said...

It is "very bad" when those wordy e-mail-writing, "soldier's" are shot and wounded versus being unshot and wounded or shot and unwounded in their creative writing classes over there in the sandpit.

There must be some deviation in the laws of physics for Sgt. Anthony. May he be drawn into a large blackhole in another galaxy.

Anonymous said...

Pretending to be a corrupt American soldier in Iraq. The only reason not to kill it is that death is too quick and clean.

On the subject of 419 scammers in general, I've received a few lately that actually showed a tinge of originality: they claim to be from a senior Nigerian government official who is trying to arrange to return money that people lost in 419 scams.

Anonymous said...

Tam, I have a few sledgehammers that you can take your pick of... they'll make his kneecaps into paste even quicker.

Hell, I'll help.

John B said...

I live for the day I can formally introduce you!

Tam, this is Anthony Hill, who may have been formerly a Sergeant in the US Army.

Tony this is Tamara K, one of the people you sent that unimaginative 419 scam letter.

Tam, this is my Eight Pound Stanley Framing Hammer, and those are his kneecaps. Please refrain from harming his skull, after the beetles get through with it, I'll be selling it on eBay to help with my incidental expenses.....

Anonymous said...

You need to send this one over Nicki at "The Liberty Zone". She has an immense amount of fun playing these fools.