Monday, April 19, 2010

An explosion of guilt.

So, how long before the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull is, like the Haitian earthquake, pinned by some tapioca-brained celebrity on the decadent, Gaia-hatin' lifestyle of the West?

They'd probably indict us for the recent earthquake in Qinghai, too, but it's harder to get news crews out to the ass end of nowhere in China and the hotels in Reykjavik are a lot nicer.


EDIT: It has been pointed out to me that I spoke way too damn soon. Look, when the Laurentide ice sheet melted, it may have affected the continent below it and triggered serious seismic activity. The scenic little glacier in some mountain valley in Banff? Not so much. (If you had to look up "Laurentide ice sheet", you are recused from offering an opinion, hippie.)

28 comments:

rickn8or said...

George Bush's fault.

Anonymous said...

Because of global warming, the air, ummm, goes up more and doesn't push on the ground as much, so it makes the land lighter and it floats more on the magma juices which makes more volcanos.
QED.

Joanna said...

According to one of Iran's top clerics, earthquakes are caused by provocatively dressed women engaging in extramarital sex. Which is news to me, because everyone knows it's just the giant turtle shifting.

Also, everyone who had 2010 or 2011 in the "Year Without A Summer" pool, pick up your winnings at the front window ...

BobG said...

Why don't we help send Phelps and his bunch over to the volcano to protest?

Anonymous said...

Ya mean Danny Glover hasn't?

Gmac

Bram said...

I thought it was Iceland's revenge for their currecy going worthless against the Euro. It was this or Viking raiders.

Marja said...

Somebody already has.

http://environment.about.com/od/globalwarming/a/earthquakes.htm

'Fire and Ice: Melting Glaciers Trigger Earthquakes, Tsunamis and Volcanos'

Right...

staghounds said...

Now is the time to get out all that "global cooling" stuff you saved from back in the eighties!

Hypnagogue said...

How long? Three days ago.

Anonymous said...

Oh, there's plenty of back-door blame...see, the volcano is natural and beautiful, and worship-worthy...and vengeful.

And as punishment for that decadent, Gaia-hatin' lifestyle of the West, She has put the kibosh to all that jettin' around of those rich, pompous, wasteful ozone-killin' capitalists!

Wait, what? You mean Billl and Jimmah and Bono are grounded too? WTF, Mother, they are your friends and protectors of your innocent chilluns...didn't you see them on teevee?

AT

alath said...

< provocatively dressed women engaging in extramarital sex >

See, I knew it was Hollywood's fault.

jeffreyquick said...

http://www.livescience.com/environment/070830_gw_quakes.html
http://propheticnews.net/content/view/3878/

Anonymous said...

"According to one of Iran's top clerics, earthquakes are caused by provocatively dressed women engaging in extramarital sex."

Pffft, how does my computer have anything to do with earthquakes?

As to volcanoes, I think we can all agree that Global Warming causes them as the polar bears tunnel under the earth to escape the oppressive heat of the Artic. When the polar bears, scientific name "digging bears", disrupt a large pool of magma, a volcanic eruption ensues.

Shootin' Buddy

Themadlemming said...

Meanwhile, in his Latverian castle, Dr. Doom laughs maniacally as his plans move forward....

Anonymous said...

Just you wait, in a year or 5 Katla, Eyjafjallajökull's really mean, nasty and very large neighbour will have it's statitiscally probable meltdown and hissy fit.

Shutting down airports in Europe for a few days will be considered childs play.

Anonymous said...

I want to thank George Bush for keeping my boss trapped in the UK and out of my hair for another week. God bless your George.

Gerry

Anonymous said...

"Just you wait, in a year or 5 Katla, Eyjafjallajökull's really mean, nasty and very large neighbour will have it's statitiscally probable meltdown and hissy fit."

All the more reason to shoot all the polar bears now!

Defend freedom, shoot bears.

Shootin' Buddy

perlhaqr said...

Bram: I voted for Viking Raiders. I thought making the Euroweenies deal with that again would have been a lot of fun.

Joanna said...

Defend freedom, shoot bears.

I'll follow you anywhere.

Tam said...

I was going to say that modern Vikings could sail up the Seine and be drinking beer out of the shoes of Parisian strippers in 48 hours flat but, come to think of it, the descendants of the Vikings aren't all they used to be, either. Look at the liberal enclaves that have sprouted up in the traditional Scandihoovian homelands of Sweden, Denmark, and Minnesota...

monkeyfan said...

I heard it was the explosive growth of the Australian Drop Bear population due to Gorebull Warning that was causing an imbalance in the resonant balance of the crustal layers as they float upon Gaia's bodily fluids.

WV - Peebrati

A small Iranian sausage.

D.W. Drang said...

Good luck gettin' the hippies to not have or express an opinion.

maddmedic said...

And now the kooks in charge can blame this on Gorebal Warming also!!
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/04/19/killed-injured-northern-afghanistan-quake/?test=latestnews

And Minnesota is not all Scandinavian!! Good solid Bohunks running around with guns here!!

Kristopher said...

You're so behind the curve, Tam.

The prevention of Anthropogenic Plate Tectonics is the latest trend in environmentalism.

Timmeehh said...

Ah Laurentide, the iconic beer of Quebec!


http://beer-packaging.blogspot.com/2009/07/biere-sybolique-beer-icons-2.html

Anonymous said...

Um, Laurentide...which holiday is that? Does it come around Christmas?

cap'n chumbucket

D.W. Drang said...

REUNITE GONDWANALAND!

wv: ingag. How Pelosi, Reid, Obummer, and probably Lindsey Graham and Michael Steele would like me to speak.

rickn8or said...

< provocatively dressed women engaging in extramarital sex >

Then I guess I don't have to sweat earthquakes and volcanos around HERE.
(said the man in the New Madrid Fault zone.)