Thursday, April 01, 2010

Lessons learned this week:

  • Making up your own rank structure for your militia is silly, especially if one of your guys has designated himself Supreme Grand Field Marshal and you don't have enough members to really need a lieutenant yet.
  • Shooting the local meter maid is not striking a blow for freedom against the despotic Zionist Illuminati socialist tyrants in Washington, DC, Sparky.
  • The person urging you to shoot the meter maid is the FBI plant. The one who suggests you blow the meter maid up instead is probably working for ATF.
  • Apparently the Midwest is awash in crazy, racist militia kooks. I'll be sure to keep my head down while picking up asparagus at the Fresh Market today.

37 comments:

Bram said...

I learned that I missed the Feb. militia meeting. Damn.

Joanna said...

All I can think of is the chick in the Butterfinger commercial: "You guys are idiots."

Seriously, though: Why do people not understand that if you want to be the oppressed, heroic underdog, you have to wait until they start trying to kill you?

Joel said...

Well, that didn't take long - they've already admitted that the FBI plant built bombs. But I'm still waiting to learn who originally mooted the idea to Kill Kops for Khrist. I'm guessing his paycheck says something about the federal government.

Tam said...

"Entrapment" is becoming such a quaint, '60s concept.

Anonymous said...
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New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I'm wondering how far beyond running their mouths these idiotic hoohahs got to? What was their planning for action? I'm thinking they may very well been at the, "First we'll go to Home Depot to get PVC pipe, then we'll go to the grovery store to buy C4 explosive that afternoon. I believe Winn Dixie keeps the high explosive in aisle 5..." level.

Anonymous said...

The problem with entrapment is that it contains two elements: 1. prohibited conduct product of LEO, 2. person not predisposed to commit said offence.

It's the virgin soul element of entrapment that is always tough sledding.

Shootin' Buddy

Boat Guy said...

"Midwest" is one of the elite code-words for "flyover country" where ALL of us toothless inbred Bible-encumbered gun-toters live

Jay T said...

I suppose no one took the title of His Imperial Majesty, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, and Elect of God"

That would have been better.

Joel said...

That's my title! How'd you know?

Now if I could only get people to join my Militia, the Flyover Country Raving Dogs of Righteous Flaming Godly Death. We're so gonna totally win the apocalypse.

Tam said...

"Now if I could only get people to join my Militia, the Flyover Country Raving Dogs of Righteous Flaming Godly Death."

I'm in.

When do we strike?

Joel said...

Very soon. There's this guy who contacted me on my secret encrypted MySpace page. He said he knows where we can get some bombs and stuff...

BobG said...

"I suppose no one took the title of His Imperial Majesty, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, and Elect of God"".

Obama has that one already.

Robert Langham said...

The guy with the plan, the money, the car, the guns, buying the drinks who knows someone who can build bombs is the FBI/ATF guy.

Dave_H said...

Well when it comes to giving myself a rank, I'm all for stockpiling black leather, motorcycles, football shoulderpads, and calling myself the Lord Humungous, warrior of the wasteland.

Anonymous said...

"Now if I could only get people to join my Militia, the Flyover Country Raving Dogs of Righteous Flaming Godly Death."

Oh, oh! Me too! Me too!

Well wait, do you guys have moon pies up there? I'm not all Kung Fu studly like Shooting Buddy, but I watch a lot of WWF, so does that count? And I want to be the sniper - do you guys have kool XXXL cammies?

Ken said...

Are plastic colanders okay, or do they hafta be stainless?

Chas S. Clifton said...

Note that the Hutaree were a Christian militia, for when the FBI struck, they meekly turned the other cheek rather than going doing in a flaming Odinist Götterdämmerung.

monkeyfan said...

Thou shalt feel the Gleischaltung baby!

Chuckie Johnson said...

Jay T,

I think I recognize your Avatar..that's a neofascistOMGskinheadnaziracist flag, right?

Jay T said...

Chuck:

Yes. In an underwater way.

Tam said...

I knew it! "Bubbleheads" is really a code word for "neofascistOMGskinheadnaziracists"!

RWC said...

Tam,

Do you have a link to the article describing their rank structure? Tried to search and came up empty handed.

ps - do a google image search for 'reuben'...if you need more incentive than that to get out there and get one I can't help :-(

Anonymous said...

Sorry I am late. I was busy glueing a horse mane to a motorcycle helmet and putting studs in my elbow pads. What did I miss?

Gerry

Anonymous said...

Gerry - did you remember your jock this time? :(

WV - squeeita - what Gerry did last time he forgot his jock.

Anonymous said...

Anon,

Got it! Inside or outside?

Gerry

Dixie said...

Hi everyone.

I'd just like to let you know that there will be a militia meeting Wednesday night at 9. However, we might have to wait outside until the local KKK (#6699, Gay Black Jewish Klansmen for Tolerance and Understanding) finish up their meeting. Just remember to bring your RPGs and machine guns, I'll provide the chips, dip, and APCs.

Sigivald said...

It occurs to me that a rank structure is not inherently silly, if you're trying to be military.

Especially if you're "serious" and want to comply with the Geneva Conventions, which require "real military forces" (as opposed to unlawful combatants) to be identifiable and have a command structure.

Rank structure? Not silly. Supreme Grand Field Marshal? Silly.

Blast Hardcheese said...

Can I be the Lord High Everything Else?

Jason said...

The People's Front of Illinois is hiring! You should avoid the Illinoisan People's Front, the lousy splitters! The less said about the Popular People's Illinoisan Front, the better...

GuardDuck said...

All your FBI plants are belong to us!

D.W. Drang said...

Put me down to help organize the Pacific Northwest Affiliate Fly-Over Country Raving Dogs of Righteous Flaming Godly Death. Although,this being the Pacific Northwest, we probably need to form the Pacific Northwest Affiliate Fly-Over Country Raving Dogs of Righteous Flaming Goddessly Death, too...

DirtCrashr said...

I am already a rigidly intolerant but manically diverse Bay-Aryan - Peninsula Prefecture, Sub-Silicon Valley. No one from SoCal (below Sunnyvale) is allowed - or the East-Bay where flyover-country begins. No man is an island, but only WE are the Peninsula.

Joel said...

...the Pacific Northwest Affiliate Fly-Over Country Raving Dogs of Righteous Flaming Goddessly Death...

SPLITTERS!

Tam said...

Wait, wait...

Was that "Raging", like all "Grrr! Angry!" or "Raving", like disco balls and laser pointers and glow-in-the-dark necklaces?

Tam said...

Sigivald,

"It occurs to me that a rank structure is not inherently silly, if you're trying to be military."

True, but I meant "making up your own" instead of using the one we already have handy, or some near equivalent.

(And if we only have ten guys, nobody gets to be "Brigadier General", no matter how cool it sounds, because everybody will laugh at us when the details get out at the arraignment...)

D.W. Drang said...

Reminds me of the NatLamp thing about the Liberian Corporal staging a coup, because, well, if a Sergeant can do it... Then you get PO's PFCs and Privates, too.