Sunday, March 06, 2011

All that hate's gonna burn you up, kid...

It is becoming a habit to turn on Chris Matthews on Sunday mornings, just to get my heart started. Here is a guy who lives in some perfect mirror universe of the one I inhabit, whose weltanschauung is so totally alien to mine that we would probably extract completely different meanings from the sentence "See Spot run."
Me: "The writer is telling me that I see a dog named Spot running."

Chris: "The crazy right-wingers are trying to milk votes from idiots by pandering to their belief that our extremely classy president is secretly a dog."
See?

I'll say this, though: Whoever writes TV programming certainly believes that liberals are smarter than conservatives. As bad as Hardball is at parsing reality, at least Chris uses polysyllabic words in his lies. If you switch the channel over to Fox & Friends, running at the same time, 50 points of IQ gets sucked from the room every time one of those vacuous bubbleheads opens their cakehole to coo over some pointless human interest story. Seriously, the US government is apparently considering deploying military forces to yet another desert full of jerks who hate us, and you're wasting my time telling me about how firefighters saved a cute three-legged doggie by giving it CPR? Apparently the powers-that-be at Fox have decided that their target audience consists of the kind of people who have flocks of plaster ducks hanging on the wall.

28 comments:

Popgun said...

Good Job! Equal Opportunity Snark!

-Popgun

Desertrat said...

TV? TV is for watching some car racing, some college football and I vaguely recall there was something else, but I forget what.

Multitudes of straight-news sources around the innerweb. The problem is that at my age, the headlines are all that are of interest. I already read the same crap, thirty, forty or fifty years ago. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Skip said...

Tv is for sports...period.

McVee said...

Maybe the tingle Chrissy Has been experiencing is the dog humping His leg?
Regarding TV news, I've pretty much given up on it.
The new media is where it's at.
ANN (Althouse news network) yes, cnn, no.

S. L. Haynes said...

Tam, that's the punishment for watching the TV so early in the morning. Listen to some music instead. It might just make you feel better.

Anonymous said...

What's cool is hearing someone use what you've always thought was an obscure, but significant-to-you, movie quote. Let's you know there are kindred souls out there on the intertubes.

I'm gonna have to watch Red Dawn again now.

Paul said...

Plaster ducks? Man would I have loved to visit your aunts. Mine all had plaster floral arrangements.

It is interesting to see how taste change over time factoring in technology.

Anonymous said...

Your time would be better spent sniffing airplane glue.

Gerry

Borepatch said...

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you're misinformed.

- Mark Twain

My favorite Chris Matthews moment ever was when Zell Miller challenged him to a duel. Good times, good times.

atlharp said...

So what you are saying is that Oprah wasn't on?

rickn8or said...

If it's any comfort to you Tam, Sunday morning is pretty much the intellectual zenith in the teewee programming; typical daytime fare is much worse.

My job often takes me to banks to repair various bankster machines. I generally remove myself and the machine to the break room so as not to offend tender sensibilities. There is usually a tv on, and I've learned not to comment nor request nor initiate a channel change, lest I "draw back a nub". Would that there be something as enlightening as "Oprah" or "The View" holding the bank employee's rapt attention. The commercials are of the "Yes, we believe you REALLY are that dumb" variety.

My productivity has improved, as I hope to get out of the room before I'm overcome with Teh Stupid.

And these people are handling your money.

Joshkie said...

Me, I get off work in the morning get home watch me some DVR'd RedEye do some 'light' commenting, fall a sleep irritated.
:-)
Josh

W.V. Is prickgu.

I think you word verification is trying to tell me something.
Hmmmm....

Daniel said...

Yeah, but it keeps me warm.

Ed Foster said...

We of the unleft need all the votes we can get, and Joe Sixpack plus family need basic instruction in even the most primitive forms of logical thinking, which is making Glenn Beck rich.

That being said, the commentary panel lead by Brit Hume is usually pleasant, with people of the center left and center right discussing subjects in a conversational tone.

I suspect Mara Eliason is actually a lot further left that she presents on Fox, but she does cool the rhetorical jets when she's with Hume.

Otherwise, what Desertrat said.

Don Meaker said...

Because of the poor quality of network news, I get my current events from Drudge, Instapundit, and VFTP.

So I can be informed with minimal time.

tickmeister said...

No TV in my house for over 4 years. I do however have a plaster polar bear sitting on my CD shelf.

LabRat said...

Wasp, Where Is Thy Sting, or coincidental?

Tam said...

LabRat,

Florence King, but I think I was drawing on Reflections In A Jaundiced Eye?

The essay that had Bea in it...

Tam said...

ETA: Yup. That was it. "Confessions of a Bloom & Hirsch Girl".

Bubblehead Les. said...

I'm usually going to the BBC to try to keep tabs on what the Barbarians are up to, Fox for the news crawler on the screen bottom when the Brits break for tea, and in the early morning hours, the Business Channels that cover the Asian Markets seem to have the latest skinny. But the Lamestream Media and their local outhouses? Weather and Traffic only. Of course, if there's anything I REALLY MUST KNOW, I look to the View from the Porch.

Joseph said...

Saving the three-legged dog was good. It will at least be appreciative. The desert dwellers, they will take our food medical care and protection and in return will kill more of our finest.

loren said...

Gotta say Fox News is an embarrassment. When the blond "bimbo", the one with the Phd in real life starts to explain what 3 syllable words mean cause she doesn't know, I get all antsy and start throwing things.
Get all my news from the internet now. Smaller screen so it's harder to hit when Michael Moore comes up. Also less expensive to replace when I'm on target.

Joshkie said...

Bubblehead Les - BBC really?

loren - if some "blond "bimbo"" is explaining 3 syllable words it's because they want people like you to understand what they are saying. There are quite a few blond on FNC so when you are disparaging (this means talking bad about someone) someone inteligence it helps to give a name.
Like: loren = idiot.

:-D
Josh

southfield_2001 said...

You mean you don't feel a tingle up your leg every time you see Chris Matthews?

Anonymous said...

It was going along nicely until the plaster ducks bit. It always has to come down to the plaster ducks with some people, doesn't it? Plaster ducks this, and plaster ducks that... -- Lyle

Tam said...

Lyle,

Ever since that Florence King essay, I've never looked at plaster ducks the same way. I'm sorry! :o

Justthisguy said...

Ma'am, you remind me of one of my favorite Kinks tunes. I think it goes something like;

"Quack quack, ducks on the wall!
Quack quack, hanging on the wall!"

I forget most of the rest of it, but I do remember:

"The ducks have got to go!"

Beaumont said...

No plaster ducks, but I do have a painting of a duck...but only one such painting. Do I still qualify?