Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Bad Ideas.

Just what society needed: the love child of a grocery buggy and R2D2.

My first thought was "You can't even put consistently reliable wheel bearings on the things, yet you think it would be awesome to give them more computing power than it took to get Alan Shepard to his tee time?"

My second thought was "Have these eggheads ever seen the damage a tantrum-throwing toddler can inflict on a shopping cart that doesn't have a touch screen?" Which, of course, led to the vision of a future mom putting her kid in the WALL-E grocery buggy which follows her into the produce section before being hijacked by kidnappers running the HACK-A-KART app on their Androids and carting off her precious bundle while she's absorbed in selecting tonight's arugula.

I'd further note that, in an economy where even plain old dumb shopping carts are increasingly tagged like migrating harp seals and fitted with The Club to keep them from being stolen by winos or sold as scrap, how about you just let me push the cart the old-fashioned way and read my own handwritten grocery list, and y'all can then use the savings to knock ten bucks off my grocery bill. How's that sound?

14 comments:

Spud said...

I have come to the conclusion that smart phones are desired mainly by those that aren't.

Tam said...

Spud,

Yea! Only a dummy would use a computer anyplace but the desk in their office.

(Incidentally, I'm trying to figure out what that statement had to do with the post topic and drawing a blank. Help me out?)

STxRynn said...

In observing the "domesticus yuppicus" at WF in San Antonio, I've concluded that they don't have children. They have dogs, cats, wallabi, or other earth friendly pets. Thankfully, they aren't into reproduction.

Respectfully submitted.....

Pakkinpoppa said...

My 2 year old plays with the credit card scanner thing if we're a little to the left side at the checkout, and if we're a little to the right, he tries to bankrupt. One day between glances at him and loading the conveyer, I noted that the "munchkin compartment" had suddenly gained product. Not just the boxes of graham crackers (cookies!) he'd snatched out of the grocery compartment, but well over a dozen gift cards. And not only the fistful he had, but the dozen plus he'd already purloined...the hundred dollar variety, of course. And while replacing them in their rightful rack, it was on to the credit card touchscreen...

Seriously, adding a touchscreen to an item that in certain parts of town doubles as the house and scrap metal conveyance, well, I don't see that being a good idea.

Secret Code: upplu Usentord

Hm, wasn't he in Lord of the Rings?

Bubblehead Les. said...

But look at the Bright Side. Now the Bag Ladies can keep track of just how many old sneakers they have loaded in their cart.

Anonymous said...

hey, these ******* push a cart as badly as they drive and are clueless as to why people want to 'recycle' them...
i've had as many if not more near misses and 'almost' trips to the ER from grocery shopping as i have from driving...
the same stupid bimbos are driving both the cars and the carts...
and you want to give them cart equivalent of a cellphone?
wv= vanal, like venal but with your head up your azz?
we're talking about creatures that are barely above a lapdog in their attachment to reality, the same people who the buy magazines and trash-sheets for sale at the checkout...
scary...

karrde said...

Does said love child contain the best parts/traits of both parents, or the worst?

I mean, it could be an infuriating little device with a mind of its own and an archaic language that most people need a translator to understand, PLUS wheels that squeak and casters that don't rotate freely...

Or it could be a smooth-rolling, easily-steered conveyance with an intuitive, helpful piece of electronic equipment attached...

Son of Sam Adams said...

Pakkinpoppa, you just hate poor people, Put a GPS in it and they can be led to the soup kitchens.

Rob K said...

I'd rather they leave the driving to me but get the Point-of-sale into the cart, so I can just push it out the door without going to a fixed station to check-out.

dave said...

Which, of course, led to the vision of a future mom putting her kid in the WALL-E grocery buggy which follows her into the produce section before being hijacked by kidnappers running the HACK-A-KART app on their Androids and carting off her precious bundle while she's absorbed in selecting tonight's arugula.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

/me grabs his phone and searches the Android Market for HACK-A-KART....

global village idiot said...

Imagine some homeless paranoid schizophrenic trying deal with the voices inside his head, the moment he discovers that his shopping cart really is following him around and attempting to engage him in conversation.

gvi

DirtCrashr said...

If it's easy for an Android-App equipped kidnappers to steal their trophy-spawn it's because they were in condition white. Condition white is soothing and reminds me of those happy people in THX-1138.
I might be inclined to disable the alarm-function and steal one of those things to put on my range-cart and ease my Match-day burden.

Anonymous said...

I don't often comment, but... Jeremiah Johnson was on the right track.

KU42

Kristopher said...

Follow you hell ... I'm waiting for that windows shopping cart to do a BSOD, and start running down the street, hopefully without someone's sprog sitting in the seat.