Thursday, February 16, 2012

I need to not read stuff like this.

Law Enforcement bulletins are often sources of great humor, if your tastes in comedy run toward the "reefer madness" variety.

Every so often, some desk-driving dude will get a Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw:Fw... in his in-box, warning him of the dangers of full-auto Glocks or Pedobear or something and he'll fire off a rocket like this gem about the hip-hop fashion of wearing fake bulletproof vests.

Now, granted it's from a New Jersey-based site, a state where the very thought of a non-Only One running around with a handgun, let alone one loaded with hollowpoints, is enough to cause a flurry of pearl-clutching and sphincter-clenching, but that still doesn't explain this quote:
The absolutely [sic] stupidity of a product like this is obvious, and it's only a matter of time before it contributes to the death of someone wearing it.
I can't help but think of the end of Monty Python's Holy Grail, where the coppers show up and arrest Arthur's army, and the one cop grabs this guy's shield, snarling "'Ere, that's an offensive weapon, that is!"

Tell me, Mr. NJLawman.com, how is a vest, real or not, going to contribute to someone's death? I'm eager to hear this one...

31 comments:

Ritchie said...

"how is a vest, real or not, going to contribute to someone's death? "

Hold my beer, I'll show you.

Never misunderestimate the stupidity of people in large groups on either left coast. Perhaps it's the sea salt in the air.

libertyman said...

In some states it is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest? Really? I wonder why?

perlhaqr said...

I had actually forgotten that there were places so opposed to life that they banned vests.

Reno Sepulveda said...

I always thought Fran Drescher was the world's most annoying nanny but they all need to go on a nice Galapagos vacation. On a leaky boat.

Anonymous said...

Tell me, Mr. NJLawman.com, how is a vest, real or not, going to contribute to someone's death?

1. In a state where wearing body armor is illegal, an officer may, "in fear for his life," shoot on sight a scary-looking dude wearing one of these.

2. The rumor may get started that, while they have to say the vests will not stop bullets, they really will. Then, someone will have to test it by shooting themselves as many police officers have done in the past.

ExurbanKevin said...

While's it always a good idea to question anything gun-related emanating from places outside of America, in this case, I can see these vests encouraging a false sense of bravado (is there a REAL sense of bravado? I digress...) in a goblins wearing them ("Let's do this. We got vests."), and the last thing they need is more recklessness.

Blackwing1 said...

Didn't the local autochthons try a similar thing with a vest that was said to be bulletproof, but actually wasn't?

I don't think that worked out so well for 'em.

Anonymous said...

"In some states it is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest? Really? I wonder why?"

Think of it as more of a sentencing enhancement or tack-on count. It is illegal to wear a vest while committing another crime; it is not illegal to mosey down the street in a vest.

Some Dood robs bank while having vest on. Count I: Armed Robbery, Count II: Robbery, Count III: Intimidation, Count IV: Pointing a Firearm, Count V: Theft, Count VI: Unlawful Use of Body Armor.

See Indiana Code 35-47-5-13 for an example of such an offense.

Shootin' Buddy

Wolfwood said...

I'm not an Indiana lawyer, but I very strongly suspect you can't charge someone with both Robbery and Armed Robbery for the same incident. See: Blockburger v. United States (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blockburger_v._United_States)

Anonymous said...

What Shootin' Buddy said, but also...

As a current (and hopefully temporary) resident of the Garden State, I will say that NJ is the very definitiion of a police state. The police want EVERY advantage. The police feel that only they should have a gun, hollowpoints, body armor, etc...

Unlike most other places I have lived, Everyone from the State Troopers down to the Local town PD share the common view that the average citizen has no need to own "dangerous" weapons. Even things like blowguns are illegal here.

Soon I hope to return to a free state.

RJ

Anonymous said...

Tell me, Mr. NJLawman.com, how is a vest, real or not, going to contribute to someone's death? I'm eager to hear this one...

Because when I draw my police weapon to kill you, I want to make sure die as opposed to having any additional chance to return fire.

The only death they want to avoid is thier own. They are not overly concerned with citizens, other than to keep them as sheep paying their taxes.

Brian N. said...

"Perhaps it's the sea salt in the air."

That salt ain't no salitter, that's for Goddamned sure.

Firehand said...

"Because I say so! Are you going to cause a problem here?"

Wolfwood, they now charge someone with a pipe bomb of having a 'weapon of mass destruction', so I don't think they'd consider robbery AND armed robbery a problem

Anonymous said...

Wearing a fake vest is like screwing with a fake condom.

On the other hand, if everyone appears to be wearing a vest, people will get shot in the head by default.

Ygolonac said...

On the "stupid LEO bulletin" front, recently a California department sent out one regarding the horrifying Internet sales of short-barreled and full-auto weapons.

By a licensed Title II dealer.

"This company ... sells modified firearms and accessories over the internet. Attached are some pictures of some of their products for sale. You may ask, how can this be legal. The following justification appears verbatim on the [company's] Internet page. It explains how you can obtain these weapons through the National Firearms Act."

Wish he'd post the whole thing, so derisive laughter could be directed with more precision...

Tony said...

actually this article just shows the stupidity of banning vests.

Next the NJ police will demand all state subjects be equipped with a kill switch.

Bram said...

Anonymous - I know several NJ lawmen who do not share that view of the average citizen - but they admit that they are a small minority.

tanksoldier said...

Sent an email to the site. We'll see what comes back:

Could you send me a list of any other completely legal behavior one should avoid in New Jersey to prevent "unnecessary" interaction with law enforcement?

Expecting law enforcement to focus on illegal behavior is probably too much to ask.

Randy said...

Oh the irony. The Police, who by nylon by the acre to look as tactical as possible, are offended that others are viewing it as a fashion statement?

misbeHaven said...

I can see these vests encouraging a false sense of bravado (is there a REAL sense of bravado? I digress...) in a goblins wearing them ("Let's do this. We got vests."), and the last thing they need is more recklessness.
If the goblins want to practice natural selection and compete for Darwin awards, who are we to say no?

Anonymous said...

my favorite NJ gunlaw stupidity, Quoting the NJ Supreme Court Jester's here " When it comes to firearms the citzen acts at his peril." WTF?

Kristopher said...

Tony: "All subjects in Geidi Prime have heart plugs."

Sigivald said...

If the goblins want to practice natural selection and compete for Darwin awards, who are we to say no?

Well, the problem is that their practice of suicidal stupidity can involve us, in drastically unpleasant ways...

Devynsdad said...

I can only hope that any goblin I may be involved in a shoot-out with is as fashion forward as Fiddy.

Mattexian said...

Only reason I can think of that actually being in peoples' favor, is to prevent those "fake bulletproof vests" from being sold as the real thing to folks who think they need one (NG Privates, rent-a-cops), which will then fail in the intended purpose. Tho that then falls into the category of selling other "fake" contraband, like fake crack, so it's agin the law to peddle soap flakes to the corner narc as something else.

8Notch said...

A picture of a New Jersey state trooper explains all that you need to know:

http://www.nj.gov/njsp/maritime/images/srs-20070604-1.jpg

markm said...

It's quite simple. Cop gear is their "gang colors", and like any other gang, they're apt to shoot you for wearing it.

Anonymous said...

"It's quite simple. Cop gear is their "gang colors", and like any other gang, they're apt to shoot you for wearing it."

Bingo.

Justthisguy said...

Heh. I have the misfortune to have to live in the Flarduh county whose then-Sheriff completely bought into the Jenkem hoax, and put up a scary warning bulletin about it on the County Web Site.

Y'know those overbred needle-nose doggies with no room for brains in their heads? Well, what is the comparative form of "Collie?" I think they've gone past that here, and are trying for "Colliest."

The official County Animal, whose image is on the logotype, is a turkey. You can't make this up.

Justthisguy said...

P.s. Mad Mike W. is exactly correct about the kind of Sheriff and deppities we tend to have around here. I can't wait for the chippin' to begin.

Anonymous said...

I could be wrong, it's been almost twenty years, but didn't former-Rep. and now ex-felon Mario Biaggi try to slip a provision into the 1982 "plastic gun ban" bill that would have defined a bullet-resistant vest to be a "machine gun" and hence controlled by BATFE under the National Firearms Act of 1934? Biaggi was from Brooklyn, true, but that's just across the river from New Jersey in the same megalopolis.