Sunday, February 26, 2012

Overheard in the Car:

Passing a small Baptist church with a large For Sale sign out front, roomie has a suggestion:
RX: "Look, a church for sale... Hey, you could buy it and set up your own! 'Tamara's First Church of Sit the %*&# Down'! You could write sermons on topics you think are important, like 'You Can Google That $#!t'."

Me: "That'd look awesome on the little sign out front. Wow, it's like you know me or something."

My half of Rashomon...

Riding in the car with Bobbi yesterday, she asked if her driving was making me nervous. I told her no, it's just that her control inputs were a little abrupt, and so all the vector changes were very sudden. She gave a response that only half made sense, so I pondered it for a second:
Me: "Wait, there's something I'm not getting here..."

RX: "My control inputs are digital, not analog, and the inc..."

Me: "Yeah, I get that, but I don't get the bit about '...the anchorman isn't funny'."

RX: *Gives me the look you give someone who has suddenly started spouting gibberish*

Me: *equally baffled, just sit there blinking back*

RX: *starts laughing hysterically*
I ran the word-sounds I had heard through my parser again and realized that what I had heard was "the increment isn't fine" and not "the anchorman isn't funny", and then started laughing too. However, "the anchorman isn't funny" became the all-purpose phrase at Roseholme for the rest of the day.


John said...

"the anchorman isn't funny"

pretty much destined for an 'all purpose' reply

Kevin Baker said...

You are aware that Tucson is the home of the Church of Tamara, are you not? I keep waiting for you to come out here to deliver a sermon!

Roy in Nipomo said...

I'm partial to the name of "The Third Church of Rodney", myself.

Robb Allen said...

Anchorman *wasn't* funny, so you have that going for you.

Anonymous said...

"First Church of Sit the %*&# Down' and Shut the %*&# Up!" should be the full name and the fist tune in the hymnal is "The Rodeo Song."

I wanna hear the sermon on "Stop Touching It." (Guns, that is).

Dwight Brown said...

"Tamara's First Church of Sit the %*&# Down and Shut the %*&# Up!" would get me out of bed on Sunday mornings.

The sermon I'm waiting for is the one titled "The Cylinder Should Rotate THIS Way, Dammit!"

Buzz said...

If Al Bundy can do it, so can Tam.

I'm ready to pass the plate at the church of "quit thinking with your feeeeelings and making the rest of us pay for your guilty conscience."

Matt G said...

I could be a layleader of such church, I think.

Grayson said...


I'm waiting for someone to establish the Church of the Gun.
As ordained (is that the proper word?) by Saint John Moses Browning, and his Apostles; preferably Smith, Wesson, Winchester, Colt, Ruger, Mauser, Enfield, and Cooper.

Devout followers would be annointed with a droplet of Hoppe's #9, and during the service, the minister, instead of passing out wafers, shall pass out cleaning patches.
I think this idea has some interesting potential.

In addition to the sermons, "Stop Touching It!" and "The Cylinder Should....", I wish to hear, "The Barrel Should Be Cleaned From the Chamber End" and "Show Thy Love For Thy Comrade By Keeping Thy Booger Hook Off Thy Bang Switch", and other important lessons.:D

Any other thoughts on the subject?

Grayson said...


Almost forgot:

"Make ready on the firing line."

Grayson said...

Just had another thought:

What's the proper service for blessing a brand new gun? Anybody?

Gewehr98 said...

Spouse #2 makes me carsick on occasion with her control inputs, too. The surging/lagging throttle is what really gets me, plus the "accelerating just to mash on the brakes" routine. I was fighting a flu bug one day when she did that, and I told her quite seriously to pull over, I'd rather walk at a steady pace in the snow than yack from the ride. That's saying a lot for somebody who enjoyed his below-the-radar bomb runs on 8-engine heavies in a previous career...

Will said...

Had that hearing condition really bad when I was younger. Not that it went away, I think I just got better at recognizing the correct word/phrase from many years of use.

Originally, I would have to pause for a second before responding, so I could figure out what word that would sound similar to that out-of-place word would fit the context of the conversation.

A big problem was if I asked the person to say it again, they would repeat the sentence exactly, which was never, ever, useful.

When I was twenty, the boss's wife commented that I was reading lips, as I didn't seem able to hear conversation if I wasn't facing the speaker. When tested in school, they discovered that my hearing range extended far beyond normal human ability. I attribute all of it to my Asperger's.