Monday, April 09, 2012

All mimsy were the borogroves...

Having had the word verification turned on for so long, I'd actually kinda missed the 'bot-generated word salad they use to try and spoof their way past the Turing screens in the spam filter. Check out this fragment of Vogon poetry I dug out of the spam comment trap this morning:
When traveling, it's not without exception important to prevention together. Let Mom imbibe the kids unified heyday while Dad enjoys a by a circular of golf. The next time Mom should remit in the spa while Dad and the kids relish in some pool time. Splitting up allows each progenitrix to utilize a much needed destroy b decompose during journeys time.

Planning is anyone of the most leading aspects that you whim lack to consider when you are traveling. Score steadfast that you without exception make it at least an hour and a half up front your take a run-out powder so that you cause sufficient time to manage yourself situated. This will eschew to convey you cordial of mind.

...

Instant that you've gotten a hardly tips on making your excursion affair a achievement, you can go flip with confidence. Apply these time-honored tricks of the calling and pass them on to those who may be accompanying you on the journey. One wish better from being more aware of and aware.

[link excised]Cheap Ray Ban glasses[/link excised]
I'm envisioning tanks of Cylon Hybrids in Shanghai, murmuring endlessly...
FTL system check diagnostic functions within parameters repeats the harlequin the agony exquisite the colors run the path of ashes fifty-two percent of heat exchanger cross-collateralized with hyper-dimensional matrix upper senses repair ordered relay to zero, zero, zero, zero, Christian Louboutin Replica...

14 comments:

bluesun said...

I'm alternately amused and annoyed at them. When your spam comments outnumber the legitimate ones, it gets a little bit depressing, no matter how weirdly worded they are...

Mike in KY said...

I was reading that kind of amused that I was actually making some sense out of it.

Then I got to the Cylon Hybrid reference... and LOL'd. Right out loud. Envisioned Gaius trying to talk to it.

Jump!

Shrimp said...

It almost makes me sad to realize that when we do get the first sentient AI, rather than Skynet, or Deep Thought, we'll end up with a spambot that will unceasingly spout off garbage, hawking everything from sunglasses to nonstick cookware to snuggies for the cat.

In true Vogon form, its first statement of sentience will be, "I spam, there for I am. Hurry, limited offer, $1.50 a can. Also, free male enhancement pills. Jessica has seen your Myspace profile, and wants to meet sexy singles in your area because you have the top-rated Youtube video, and won the Nigerian Lottery with a winning number of the Pepsico/Chevrolet/MSNBC awards program, and the prize is a cheap!! Rolex copy along with Canadian pharmacy VISA debit card."

Actually, I think I'd prefer Skynet...

Tam said...

Shrimp,

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

mikee said...

I respect "the time-honored tricks of the calling" and will not criticize them, for compared with Nigerian scam emails these computer generated solicitations contain some great language. Buried in a ton of crap, of course.

Incidentally, without the word verification here, naming the characters in my next fantasy novel will be a real chore.

Loki1776 said...

How did the transcript of a staff meeting make it to your spam folder?

global village idiot said...

JUMP!!!!

gvi

LauraB said...

Thinking, "her comments are better than my blog..."

Don M said...

Vogon poetry is better than half the stuff by e.e.cummings

Anonymous said...

I'm reminded of 1960s Japanese bike owners manuals...

...all your verbiage are belong to us..?

global village idiot said...

Shanghai Hybrids and Vogons be hanged. That stuff is the verbal equivalent of the aftereffects of a dog eating chocolate, no more.

If you want true abuse of the English language, you must find it from an English speaker.

http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/

gvi

DanH said...

Jabberwocky, Turing Tests, Vogon poetry, AND Cylon hybrids... the geek cred, it burns us...

Yup, I'm in the right place ;p

Bob in Houston said...

wait wait, can we go back to that part about the cat snuggies??

Moogie P said...

Heh.