Wednesday, April 25, 2012

You keep using that word...

Here's an interesting sociology project!

The following paragraphs were fished from the spam filter here at VFTP Command Central by our elite team of sewer commandos. They obviously originated in China, and I am betting that they were carefully written in Chinese with the aid of some translation software. "Self-Reliance Day" is obviously meant to be "Independence Day", now referred to amongst the vulgarians as "The Fourth of July". (It's okay, the paragraphs have been carefully stripped of links to black-market viagra, internet porn, and Christian Louboutin knockoff shops by our highly-trained link strippers, all former fugu chefs; you can touch them now.)
Traditionally, Self-reliance Day time is frequently related to parades, bbqs, fireworks, carnivals, festivals, a picnic, concerts, baseball games, politics events, community speeches and private gatherings. Today, most Americans continue to honor the custom and commemorate the respects of our Promise of Self-reliance. But will it be nice to bring the zest into the special event of our country's independence?

Outlined below are great tips and listing of homemade presents to commemorate the birth of freedom of the United States of America.

Wear a loyal home made shirt showing the flag of the usa, the Stars and Stripes style. You might create your own shirt using fresh paint or use emulsion paints for a better look. If you don't have much time, there are a lot of shops that offer imprinted t shirts. You could make one for yourself and provide some to your family and friends.

While wearing your customized loyal shirt, go to historic places and monuments. Especially locations that creates an ambiance of freedom and historic pasts. Honor ancient monuments of great People in america who fought, die and lived with an recognition of doing some thing ideal for our nation.

If cooking food and baking is the expertise, why not produce freedom goodies for everyone. Produce Stars and Stripes cookies, sweets with the United states banner, design desserts subsequent Granddad Sam's cap or portrait and thousand other kinds. Request your friends and family to commemorate your day of independence in your yard and barbeque grill some hamburgers, pork, meats, American sausages, marshmallows, surf flags, sing patriotic song and turn on some shines.

Produce homemade medals, records or rock monuments and keep people who you believed created an impact to enhance the lives of Americans. Fashion a brief speech using what they do and give them the name InchExcellent AmericanInch. I highly recommend this if you have friends or if someone in the family is on Navy blue or if there is a battle veteran. Awards can be given to public slave or someone who required the name of America in success.

Fireworks are also part of the Self-reliance Day time celebration. If you're good at it, create a pyromusical fireworks show for the entire community to see. Use excellent loyal songs as the music activity. Of if you are not too good at it, buy sparklers and enjoy lights all of them with friends and family. You may even produce battery operated sparkless shines with star style for the children.

Create hairpieces or costumes from the revolutionary time period and also have a outfit celebration. Produce a perform and amuse everybody. Be a musician and function people with drinks and food popular in those days.

This day we don't just celebrate our Self-reliance but we also celebrate the lives of people that died battling for what we're encountering now. They fought with fervor and honor. So, we should benefit from the freedom they had provided and celebrate this Fourth of July with a blast.
There is obviously a very different cultural mindset at work here, if you take your time to pick through all the implications contained therein.


perlhaqr said...

You mean like, the Chinese might actually still be proud of their country instead of totally cynical?

I think my next band is going to be named "InchExcellent AmericanInch", and we will create pyromusical displays.

taylor said... looking at word frequency we have:
Independence - 2
Loyal - 3
Honor - 3
Freedom - 4
Self-reliance - 4
celebrate (and variations) - 6

What is interesting to me is the inclusion of Loyalty. Independence Day is about disloyalty to the standing government. You know...that whole:

"But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security"

That is the core of what Independence Day is about. Knowing that you were going to become a traitor to your standing government by opposing them because it was the right thing to do. Its about stepping in and acting when you risk your life, fortune, and honor...not because you will win or because you will be popular...but because it was right.

But no, as the frequency analysis above shows, the main interest here is the "celebration", where they mention many fine products that you can purchase to "enhance" your celebration. All made with loyalty and pride in the People's Manufacturing Collective 36.

Anonymous said...

Too bad I squandered my opportunity to be one of Granddad Sam's public slaves.

Anonymous said...

Take family and friends on Long March!


Woodman said...

Wow, it's a fun game to try to reverse translate to the word they really meant to use.

jakeblade said...

I'm definitely gonna turn on some shines.

WindRider said...

In spite of their valiant efforts, they still got one word very wrong. "battling for what we're encountering now" should be "battling against what we're encountering now".

Still, it seems they've put more thought into celebrating Independence Day than most Americans do these days.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said... referred to amongst the vulgarians as "The Fourth of July".

Which is even more annoying to those of us who agree with John Adams that it should be celebrated on the Second.

Joe Allen said...

I will say this: it's forever changed the way I use scare quotes when I want to express inchsarcasminch.

And, I suppose, when I'm quoting someone else: inchnow referred to amongst the vulgarians as footThe Fourth of Julyfootperiodinch

Stuart the Viking said...

I like the idea of a Self-Reliance holiday. America was built and made great by the self-reliant attitude of early Americans. It is no surprise that as the American government grows and the people become more reliant upon government programs, America finds itself in trouble.

It would be nice to celibrate self reliance for once.


Joe in PNG said...

The problem with making "Self Reilance Day" a national holiday is soon, everyone is going to want the government to give them money to help celebrate it.

trevalyan said...

Allow me to suggest that replacing "loyal" with "patriotic", not to mention "self-reliance" with "independence" and "slave" with "servant" makes this Chinese essay sound a lot closer to the American ideal. It's not so much foreign modes of thought, as getting into trouble translating abstract expressions. I guarantee that I would be way worse at translating an Independence Day essay into French with Google Translate, forget into Chinese. (See: white morons getting inappropriate kanji tattoos)

But then again, in an era where reliance on government increases, patriotism is scorned, and our public MASTERS control our lives in unprecedented ways, I'm starting to think the Chinese are on to something.

Tam said...

"Allow me to suggest that replacing "loyal" with "patriotic", not to mention "self-reliance" with "independence" and "slave" with "servant" makes this Chinese essay sound a lot closer to the American ideal."

I got all that, except I'll note that in a properly American vocabulary, "loyal" and "patriotic" are not necessarily equivalent, and are at times antonyms. (cf. the very document whose signing celebrated is celebrated on Self-Reliance Day.)

trevalyan said...

Yeah, I understand that completely. Of course, "slave" and "servant" are nowhere near equivalent in any English-speaking nation- that's arguably a bigger failure of communication than confusing loyalty with patriotism. You ably showed why that goes against American thought, I'm just saying that the Chinese are -probably- trying to approximate that thought while lacking the familiarity with English abstraction. Which translation software is bad at helping with. I could be wrong.

At any rate, it's typically modern commentary that a Chinese spam artist has put more thought into their Independence Day writing than most anyone in the Greater Washington DC area. Happy Self-Reliance Day!

Stranger said...

Interesting translation, with a few more connotation yet to be discovered.

However, an astronomer friend tells me that the "star of Bethlehem" speaks of Jesus birth date being what would now be July 4, 7 BCE. That is, about two weeks after the summer solstice of that year.

I think flags and fireworks are appropriate - to celebrate two such events on that date.


NotClauswitz said...

I want to name my public slave Inch American, and my not-public slave Excellent Inch and have them both produce hairpieces and perform an encouraging dance - no mentions of dances? Dance monkey, dance!

Erin Palette said...

No reference yet to Hedwig and the Angry InchExcellent AmericanInch?

Chas S. Clifton said...

"Produce a perform and amuse everybody."

Isn't that what bloggers do?

Kristophr said...

Remember, do not allow your SKS to become sunburned.

Engrish is so much fun.

global village idiot said...

This post certainly underscores the difficulty we'll all experience when our mortgagors end up reclaiming the security of their loans.

Erin, the obvious reason there was no "Hedwig" reference was because he was East German. Moreover, the Chinese would have scrupulously removed any such reference, given the fact that Asians generally are uptight about the very same phenomenon that afflicted the unfortunate Hedwig.

(Great Minerva's Ghost, I was this >< close to successfully forgetting that movie entirely! Thanks a million, Erin!)


LabRat said...

What most jumps out to me is the pervasive communalism contained within the language. I mean, it's a social holiday here, but it doesn't quite match up.

Anonymous said...

Glad that I'm not the only one who objects to calling it "Forth of July" and not "Independence Day".

Goober said...

Taylor said “Knowing that you were going to become a traitor to your standing government”

You can’t be a traitor to your government. Only to your country. If your government is usurping power and harming your country, you are a traitor if you DON’T stand against them. That, I think, is the point that was made by our Founding Fathers, and the point that I think so many Red Chinese couldn’t possibly comprehend. I love my country. I volunteered to defend her (they wouldn’t take my broken ass, but that’s another story), possibly at the cost of my life. But this country’s current government can go piss up a rope, for all I care – they are not the same thing.

Drang said...

Reads like someone taking (first year) ESL is already preparing for their citizenship tests. I'm sure that the essays I was writing in my Korean Basic course read much the same way to Mr. and Miss Kim. (No relation....)

Which suggests that the digital slaves who labor away at the various sweat shops harvesting points for online computer gamers to buy are branching out to writing more-or-less coherent essays for spammers and scammers to use.

Alan J. said...

My favorite line, "...produce freedom goodies for everyone." I'm definitey going to use that at our next family BBQ.

And just wait, if David Axelrod ever reads this you'll be seeing that line again in Obama's next speech about how we need the rich to do more for their 'fair share'.

NotClauswitz said...

Was Hedqwig a Musician who could function people? I missed that and everything but the title of the movie.

RabidAlien said...

I was reading that with mild amusement, until I got to the end and the little bit about "Be a musician and function people". just went from a slightly funny parody to a porn? Wow...okay....soooooo...where's THAT particular party being held? And will there still be BBQ (fireworks fully dependent upon yourself and

Old NFO said...

I'm betting this came out of a HS class outside Shanghai... Just sayin... :-)

Brad K. said...

@ WindRider,

"celebrate the lives of people that died battling for what we're encountering now" Yeah, I caught that, too. Only the grammar error has been overtaken by events. We now have the taxation -- and spending -- despite the will of the people. We now have a narcissistic leader that despises the (revolting) peasantry. At 90 million rounds a year, the government is arming up against the populace.

@ Goober,

"You can’t be a traitor to your government. Only to your country." (or is that inchYou can’t be a traitor to your government. Only to your country.inch?)

See, that was the revolutionary thinking that made the US Constitution the first of it's kind. "Of the people, by the people, and for the people," was novel, and is still uncommon. Until then, the ruler was the nation. The government was the nation, the geography was mere happenstance, the people were both assets to the government and burdens on the movers and shakers. So, no, the Chinese wouldn't make that distinction. It wouldn't make sense to them. (I wonder if it would make sense to some of the clowns in Washington, DC?)

Robert said...

"If you're good at it, create a pyromusical fireworks show for the entire community to see. "

I would totally love to do this, except that all fireworks are made in china and I won't buy any. I'll probably just set some old tires on fire and blast "Highway to Hell" out of my car stereo at max volume. I'm sure the neighbors will appreciate it.

Kristophr said...

Drang: They aren't just digital slaves.

Gulag operators in China have learned that they can make a lot more money having their victims farm gamer gold than doing manual labor.

Assholes that buy gold off of ebay are supporting this crap.

Drang said...

@Kristopher: That's what I was trying to say, could have phrased it better.