Wednesday, August 29, 2012

This is where hubris gets you.

Just yesterday I was all patting myself on the back over keeping up a 3.5 post/day average for seven years and so of course I wake up this morning and I've got bupkis. Total writer's block. My head is emptier than the Women's Studies building at the University of Riyadh.

We could sit around and tell knock-knock jokes, but I can't remember any of those off the top of my head, either.

I'm off to CNN.com; if I can't find anything to make fun of over there, I may as well go back to bed and try again later.

29 comments:

NAVIGATOR said...



TAM

you are allowed to sleep in

feed the feline friends first

you can post later

SWEET DREAMS !

og said...

I dunno. Seems like we're overdue for another edition of platform wars.

Tam said...

The size of my giveacrap about platform wars, regardless of the platform in question, cannot be described without using prefixes like "nano-", "pico-", and "femto-".

People may feel free to start them in comments whenever they wish, however.

og said...

Exactly. You dont have to have a dog in the fight to watch them snap and snarl at one another.

Dwight Brown said...

"People may feel free to start them in comments whenever they wish, however."

I'd rather do knock-knock (and other jokes).

A baby harp seal walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "What will you have?"
Baby harp seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Phillp Glass.

Kevin said...

Ok, the surrealist joke got me.

Bil said...

Ok, odd point of fact - there is a women's studies program in Riyadh KSA. It's in the Diplomatic Quarters, and is run by Princess Manahil. My wife used to teach English as a 2nd Language there.

Now for the funny bit...Saudis have trouble saying their "p's". Pepsi comes out as bebsi. While taking the girls around on a walking/talking tour, my wife looks over, sees some shrubbery, and says "now class, these are bushes." Immediately after, a hand goes up in the back from one of the Arab girls.

"Ms., excuse me Ms. These are bushes? No, I think this is bushes"...and she walks over and lightly pushes my wife's arm....

Tam said...

Bil,

Oh, the things I have learned because of this blog! :D

mikee said...

I always enjoy the Cosmoline and Rust posts. Should you have to purchase another firearm or six to write said post, the sacrifice of your budget is appreciated in advance.

The posts on the joys/difficulties of driving/riding across Broad Ripple are usually quite well done.

Pictures of breakfast, lunch or dinner always please the hungry masses.

New Orleans is apparently having the equivalent of a Slip-n-Slide Party on a grand scale. Your thoughts?

In Japan the bar I frequented after work had a "Manglish" sign on the stairwell door, directed at the expats who gathered there. "Keep snake in trunks, step no piss." I think I know what it meant, but alternate interpretations are welcome.

Pictures of teh kitteh?

Dwight Brown said...

Kevin:

The first time I encountered the surrealist joke, I was hanging out with my friend Lawrence and we were browsing local BBS systems.

I swear, the two of us were on the floor laughing for what seemed like a solid 45 minutes at that joke.

Joseph said...

http://bit.ly/QSwIuZ

There you go, if you can't do anything with French .gov mandating breathalyzers, there's no help for you.

Via TTAC

Dwight Brown said...

Joseph:

Yeah. The LAT had an article about that over the weekend, too.

It seems that:
1) The guy who persuaded the French Parliament to pass that law also works for a company that sells breathalyzer kits.
2) The French are unfamiliar with the concept of "lobbying".

Dwight Brown said...

I feel like I'm posting too much in this thread, and after this I'm going to go down to our corporate cafe and get a nice steaming cup of STFU, but:

I'd be kind of interested to see if Tam has any thoughts (other than "You eeediot!") about the NY state judge who was censured for a negligent discharge in his chambers.

Dean in Az said...

I'd like to introduce you to someone almost as snarky as you... A Pen review on Amazon is the forum:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R19XO9PS38WRWO/ref=cm_cr_pr_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B004F9QBE6&linkCode=&nodeID=&tag=

og said...

You can always resort to banjo jokes.

Why do they let banjo players play in pizza parlors?
Because pizza is the only food that you can taste over the noise.

What's the difference between a run over skunk and a run over banjo player?
The skunk was on it's way to a gig.

Which one of the following does not belong: Herpes, Measles, AIDS, Banjo Players?
Measles--you can get rid of the Measles.

westofthewest said...

Relax you have plenty of bonus blogpoints accrued for faithfully posting on weekends.

Robin said...

I like light bulb jokes myself.

mariner said...

Dean in AZ,

That was hilarious! Several other comments on the same product are good for more laughs.

ASM826 said...

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Wendy.

Wendy who?

Wendy wind blows the cradle will rock.

SpeakerTweaker said...

My head is emptier than the Women's Studies building at the University of Riyadh.

Writer's block my foot! That's a wrap, sister!

Also, Bil wins the internet today.

Anonymous said...

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Yellow Lady.

Yello Lady who?

Why are you yodeling.

Kristopher said...

How many mall ninjas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

mustanger said...

I didn't know mall ninjas screwed in light bulbs.

Ummm... I started this one thinking they'd call maintenance, given that changing light bulbs would be beneath a demented Cub Scout's alleged skill level with canned .22's and climbing boots. [/puzzled]

Bil said...

Heh...cool, I apparently "won" the internet today with a true story.

Windy Wilson said...

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana again?
You know, knock-knock jokes are about as stupid as traveling salesmen/farmer's daughter jokes, but less smutty.

HerrBGone said...

Knock knock
Sounds like you're using the wrong octane gas.
Naw, it's probably low on oil! Have you checked under your 710 cap lately?

Sorry, I've been listening to Car Talk too long...

Critter said...

knock, knock.

Who's there?

Latvian.

Latvian, who?

Please open door. Is cold, also dark.

staghounds said...

Bushy pitches.

I know the BEST knock knock joke. Want to hear it?

Alright, you start,,,

Brad K. said...

Why did the elephant wear pink tennis shoes? To hide in the strawberry patch.

Ever see an elephant in a strawberry patch? The pink shoes work.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come over the mountains? "Here come the elephants, over the mountains."

Why did the elephants wear sun glasses? They were traveling incognito.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants wearing sunglasses come over the mountains? Nothing. He didn't recognize them.

Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a sedan.