Tuesday, February 19, 2013

OhGodI'mGettingOld! Moment #325,101

When did People magazine turn into Who Are These People? magazine?


Okay, I know who Tiger Woods and Beyoncé are. I'm assuming that "Jenn" is Jennifer Anniston, she of whose name I am cognizant for reasons that are unclear to me. "Kim" has the slatternly look of one of those Kardashian people, and her name begins with a "K", so that's my guess.

But who are all these other people with whom I am apparently on a first-name basis? I haven't the slightest clue...

44 comments:

BobG said...

No clue who they are, and no desire to know.

global village idiot said...

It's not a sign of aging to not recognize the people on the covers of the gossip magazines.

It is a sign of aging, however, when folks young enough to recognize people on the gossip mag covers don't know who the people YOU would recognize from gossip mag covers are.

"Florence Henderson? Who the hell is Florence Henderson?"

gvi

Scott J said...

That's not old age. It's a cultural badge of honor to not know who those "people" are.

I quoted the word because the lack higher brain function they and those who breathlessly follow them display makes me wonder if the term even applies.

Tam said...

gvi,

It's been a while since I've seen Liz Taylor in the checkout line. I'm assuming this means she has probably reached room temperature, no?

armedlaughing said...

It's one of those age things.
(not that YOU'RE old) :-)
Because of my dad, I knew who Bogart, FDR, Eliot Ness and The Shadow were.
He had no idea who Dustin Hoffman and Gene Wilder were.
It's generational!
(At least that's my story-and I'm sticking to it!)

gfa

Ken said...

I liked it better (even though it was before my time) when the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were named Stuhldreher, Miller, Layden, and Crowley.

Laughingdog said...

"That's not old age. It's a cultural badge of honor to not know who those "people" are."

This. Ten times over.

Fodder4Thought said...

I thought Justin Bieber was a Fark meme for almost a year before I found out he was a real (sort of) person.

Honestly, I think I'd be happier if I'd never realized it.

Robert Fowler said...

Tam, Elizabeth Taylor did indeed reach room temperature about a year ago.

Bram said...

Melissa cheated on Joe? No way.

I see the rags on at the supermarket and am satisfied when I don't know who they are.

Stuart the Viking said...

I'm sure you did much better than I would.

My friends are no help in this matter though. On the rare occasion Kim Kardashian comes up in conversation (my friends are much more "hip" than I am), they always refer to her as a fat ugly skank. So imagine my surprise when one day I came across a picture that was labeled with her name and the picture was of a perfectly normal looking, average weight, relatively attractive young woman (to my eyes anyway). Go figure. The way they always talk, I would have been looking for a troll.

s

KM said...

Tam, Elizabeth Taylor did indeed reach room temperature about a year ago

And she, like Whitney Houston & Michael Jackson, has been clean & sober ever since.

Critter said...

They sell magazines in the grocery stores now? I thought those things were hard to come by these days?

southtexaspistolero said...

I remember when People was about, y'know, regular people. Really, I do.

Firehand said...

Only reason I know who some of them are is that much of our news media considers what/who some celebritute is doing to be 'news'.

Old NFO said...

Don't know, don't care... sigh...

BillB said...

I told my wife I need to go to the doctor more often....without people magazine I never know who anyone is

Will said...

I recognize a lot of the names I see, and can match some of them to a face, but I no longer have a clue WHY most of them are famous. It seems some of them are noteworthy simply due to being famous, but what little I have read in the grocery line never covers the origins.
I guess I am officially clueless, now. Damn, I guess I blinked at some important point in history.

staghounds said...

Celebritute. Heh.

Anonymous said...

KM,
Now that's some funny shit right there. LOL

IdahoHunter

Bubblehead Les. said...

Oh, come on! You don't recognize Reba? Geeze Louse, she's OLDER than me, and I'm old enough to remember when we brought guns INTO the High School and were stopped with the Question : "Did you guys Win the Match?"

And THAT'S OLD!

leaddog said...

Ken,

Those guys changed their names too? What do they call themselves now?

Joseph said...

You have been up North for a while if you don't recognize Reba! Better turn in that Southern Redneck card, stop humping your cousin and chewing tabacco.

Anonymous said...

Or reapply for a new redneck card, and start humping your cousin...

Grayson said...

I never buy those gossip rags for three very good and sensible reasons:

First, they cost way too damn much.

Second, they contain absolutely no information that I consider useful.

Last, no one can use them as an effective substitute for regular toilet paper. Worse than so-called, "John Wayne" toilet paper, and I learned that lesson the hard way.....

Remember the following:
Hershey Squirts + no Charmin in friend's bathroom + pile of gossip rags beside toilet + desparation = one ruined t-shirt found laying in friend's bathtub (by friend's sister.)

I still get crap for what I did that awful day. That's why I hate gossip magazines.
Cheers.

Charles Pergiel said...

No wonder you're such a bitter clinger. If you paid more attention to who and what were actually important (which you would if you read People magazine every week), you would be a happy giver. [end sarcasm]

Ritchie said...

This is not the demographic you're looking for.

Mark Alger said...

Iffen you REALLY want the time-space continuum to shift under your feet... Remember when People was a two-page section in the back of Time?

Yah. Really. There used to be a magazine called Time.

M

The Freeholder said...

I take it as a sign of your more developed sensibilities. :-)

RabidAlien said...

@SteuarttheViking: I don't think its her outward appearance they were referring to...

@Joseph: Wow. I'm outta touch...I didn't know rednecks humped their chewing tobacco as well!

Me, personally, I glance over at the mags to see if there's any hot chicks with cleavage (or bikinis) on the covers. Otherwise, I find the impulse-buy section to be far more intriguing. Seriously? Who decides at the very last moment that they need a handy-dandy plastic pocket-sized dispenser for doggy poopy-bags? Or are those for storing the magazines in?

Anonymous said...

>I'm assuming that "Jenn" is Jennifer Anniston,...

Should have titled it: "The one where Tam realizes how old she is"

I keep looking for Batboy and the Weekly World News...

-SM

Anonymous said...

Tam; You're better off not knowing. It's not so much a sign of age as it is a sign that you're probably on the right track. -- Lyle

Brigid said...

Lassie's trainer was on the list of people that passed away. THAT one I remembered. I hope they put on his headstone " bark bark. . .Timmy's in the well!"

John said...

You have to be of a certain age to understand "Timmy's in the well"!

Chalkie said...

I recognized Reba, the name Beyonce (but no idea on the face), and a spork. They appear to be suggesting that we eat salad with a spork, which is just foolishness.

libertyman said...

I guess that is the "Woman's" section of the magazine rack. And I guess from the articles that women are only interested in gossip, comfort foods and dieting since those seem to be the main themes. Somehow I don't see my woman friends browsing that section of the magazine rack at all.

Tam said...

libertyman,

"I guess that is the "Woman's" section of the magazine rack."

Bzzzzt!

Checkout lane.

Justthisguy said...

Well, Tam, as you know, you are somewhat of an outlier (as am I). Most normal women eat that stuff up. Surely you are aware of the magazines on sale at the checkout counter in the supermarkets.

Say, how goes the nose? I do hope and trust they didn't have to destroy much of it. Owhell, that's what you get for being The Fairest of the Fair. (one of my favorite Sousa marches, btw)

Rob Reed said...

You know you're getting older when you don't recognize any of the celebs in "People" magazine. You know you're getting wiser when you realize you don't care.

Rob (Trebor)

libertyman said...

Yes, you are right, I missed that. No "men's" magazines there, a telling marketing scheme.

Robin said...

As for the Kardashian's, I'm still puzzled how one can turn an extraordinarily dull sex tape into celebrity.

Since mom's turning out the daughter's as bad pron stars isn't exactly a novel business plan ...

MJM said...

Like you: don't know and don't care who they are. Except, sometimes, they do provide some satire material, and they let me blog about The Idiocracy.

The real Mr. O said...

"Bzzzzt!

Checkout lane."

Distinction without difference, ma'am.

Larry said...

I recognized the redhead as Reba McIntyre, just because of my appreciation of all things redhead.

The others...meh, who cares, I don't see their signature on my paychecks.