Sunday, March 23, 2008

Top news in the Monkey House:

The ten most-viewed stories currently up at

10. Muslim converts on Easter.
Okay, I can see why this is being watched: A vocal anti-jihadist gets rather publicly baptized by the Pope hisownself. Pretty newsish.

9. China puts out its Tibet version.
We all do want to hear China's rationale for going all Tienanmen on the world's leading exporters of hippie philosophy and general Shirley MacLainery.

8. Pregnant woman tortured to death.
Gruesome, but it definitely has the "If it bleeds, it leads" thing going on in spades.

7. Former radical back in prison.
A clerical error that lets someone out of prison... whoops! ...a whole year early because of a typo is news in anybody's book.

6. Pope celebrates Mass in thunderstorm...
And isn't electrocuted, which I suppose we can take as a good annual evaluation from his boss. Lots of Catholics on the planet, which explains lots of eyeballs for this story.

5. Troops kill shaved militants.
I don't care how prudish you are, you clicked on this headline. You know you did.

4. Man goes on stabbing spree at mall.
He must have noticed the "No Guns Allowed" signs. Definitely news.

3. Richardson: Speech key to support.
A Friend Of Bill's jumping ship to Obama Nation in the middle of the campaign is pretty noteworthy. Lots of eyeballs will follow that.

2. Sailors trapped in sunken ship.
Ongoing drama! Sailors trapped in Davy Jones' locker! Heroic rescue attempts underway! Look!

But the number one most clicked-on, most popular, most eyeball-grabbing bit on CNN right now, in the midst of calamitous shipwrecks, tortured moms, shaved militants, missing felons, and presidential politics?

1. J.K. Rowling: I considered suicide.

Sigh. Y'know what? I'm suddenly considering it, too.



Anonymous said...

The one headline read as "Bill Richardson Continues to Leave New Mexico Alone, Bothers Nation Instead" to me.

There was something about Obama in there? Huh.

Anonymous said...

She is the richest women on the planet based upon earning it herself. She is arguably the most "popular" author currently alive based upon books sales numbers. I can see the interest.

Anonymous said...

Wow!, I didn't know how much I didn't know! Except for nos. 2, 9, & 10, they're all news to me. I guess 30 seconds at Drudge every day isn't enough to keep me up to speed after all.

I don't really feel any poorer for having missed 70% of the top news stories though. I guess that means I'm even less in touch with my fellow man than I thought. Oh well - back to looking at the interesting stuff that doesn't entertain the masses.


Earl said...

News, news, views, news, views, all to sell soap or gas guzzling automobiles or EASY, FREE and SEXY. There is nothing NEW under the Sun.
You don't run, nor hunt with the pack nor the herds, why follow their scent?

BryanP said...

If I saw a news story about my favorite living author contemplating suicide I'd click on it too. She's not my favorite, but she definitely holds that rank for an awful lot of people.


Anonymous said...

I clicked on the link and the "Shaved Militants" story wasn't there!

I suppose I could try googling the phrase but the mind shudders at what might float to the surface...

Anonymous said...

Bryan said...
If I saw a news story about my favorite living author contemplating suicide I'd click on it too. She's not my favorite, but she definitely holds that rank for an awful lot of people.

5:30 PM, March 23, 2008

So ostensibly the infantilization continues unabated. I look forward to the Teletubbies going down along side Shakespeare...

Jeffro said...

I hear Dumbledore is gay. There's some news you can use.

BryanP said...


COnsidering that at the time he was working Shakespeare was considered to be middlebrow entertainment, that's not as much of an insult as you think it is.

Tam said...


Just goes to show that history is the final judge.

Anonymous said...

The fact that Rowling doesn't know that every living being thinks about suicide at one time or another shows how far 'round the bend her money's taken her. Either that, or I'm off the reservation for believing that everyone thinks about it, because I'm projecting. Damn it, Tam! lol

Anonymous said...

I don't think about suicide.

I annoy others until they consider suicide.

Then I larf and point at them.

Assrot said...

In a pig's eye!

Huh! You commit suicide!



P.S. - If you are really considering it, let me talk you out of it. If I can't talk you out of it, let me talk you out of your Smith Collection.