Pashtunwali is the code of the mountain tribes of central Asia. It is a complex set of obligations one must follow, such as showing hospitality to guests and defending them from enemies, and one spurns it at the cost of outcasting and ostracism.
By comparison, Hoosierwali mostly just asks that you keep your sidewalks free of ice and snow or people will talk bad about you on the internet. Like now.
The picture below, showing the neatly shoveled and salted walk from the front door down to the curbside, while the walk in front of the house remains uncleared, displays the snow-shoveling neighborliness equivalent of wearing a ribbed condom inside out:
Not that I'm bitter or anything, but that pic was taken a few days ago, before the Great Thaw began, and so this afternoon that shady stretch of walk is covered with a lumpy, rock-hard, translucent coating an inch or two thick with the same coefficient of friction and amount of "give" as oiled glass.
23 comments:
"Wearing a ribbed condom inside out"
I would have bet money that there was not another human being on earth to use that metaphor.
Then there's Scandihooviwali, which is the tribal code for the denizens of the frozen north. It is a simple code, which has only two tenets. First, that a casserole be prepared and provided to those who are sick, grieving, or new. Second, that a host must either have a fresh pot of coffee ready when an unexpected guest arrives, or put one on immediately. Failure to adhere to the code will cause one to be shunned by the old ladies at the Fellowship Hall after Sunday services.
Thankfully, here in outer suburbia our sidewalks are vestigal and have no nead of clearing.
I have actually used that metaphor. " ribbed for his pleasure", describes the attitude of a lot if people I used to know. Why the hell would I want to make you happy?
This is the only place that can contrast Pashtunwali and the wearing of ribbed condoms inside out.
I'd be inclined to park a vehicle or three in front of the cleared spot so the denizens have to use their own sidewalk to get to a vehicle. Nothing like assisting karma in it's proper function.
Such neighborhood issues as this (and, without any relationship to snow clearing whatsoever, hanging and field dressing deer in the front yard versus the back yard) led to much turmoil in my Baltimore suburb my first year there, when I was saddled with Presidency of our Neighborhood Association, as each new resident was upon arrival.
The solution to the deer issue was easy: I ridiculed the person complaining about it, suggesting she knit a Bambi bag for her hunter neighbor. I was never again invited to her parties, a very small loss for the pleasure of shutting her up for almost 5 minutes.
The icy sidewalk solution, or at least to lack of snow clearing by those able to do so, was ridiculous amounts of salt anonymously poured on the offenders' ice, with subsequent dead grass in the spring.
Ridicule works for some things. For others, the best one can achieve is revenge.
What? I'm wearing them inside out?
I'm sorry, I know its a funky question, but dammit Now I must axe.......but have you ever TRIED to turn a condom inside-out? Not as easy as you may think....just sayin'.....
DaddyBear,
Scandihooviwali sounds an awful lot like BaptistChurchwali...where the denizens never had a meeting without it being turned in to a potluck.
As for sidewalks, I was very, very good until the last 4 inches of snow topped by 1 inch of ice. I did the driveway with the blower, who complained none stop about what it was being fed. I said, "The heck with the sidewalks." Two or three days ago before the melt started I looked around the neighborhood...and I don't remember seeing one sidewalk cleared. I think we're all just burned out with dah white schtuff.
Yep around here the key to selfishness can be seen as a nice clean path cut from the front door to the drive way, but the other half of the walk pure snow and ice.
Its a suburban "Fuck You", right there!
Well, as the old joke goes.
Jhonny always used half as many condoms as the rest of us because he used the (whatever ethnic minority is considered dumb that decade) condoms.
We don't clear sidewalks around here, but that's only because it would have melted by the time we finished. We do help the neighbors with downed limbs and welcome strangers into our storm shelters.
Your snow pics are reminding me of my native Michigan.
Nostalgic sighs in 3 - 2 - naw, not happening.
Well, I have about an acre of concrete to clear which is a real pita some days. The sno blower really did not like the slush we had last night.
My neighbor on the other hand barely gets out of the house, much less clear anything. And he is half my age.
Not sure what part of slobovia he grew up in.
Agree on the salt... and when they bitch the lawn won't grow, just smile... :-) Revenge best served COLD...
Our street certainly isn't representative of the city but while we don't have sidewalks, we shovel our double wide driveways and the street in front of our houses. It would be so much easier to only have to shovel a tiny shovel wide path to the street but it wouldn't be as fun nor worthy of being called exercise.
They don't send the plows out often and they don't do as good a job as shovels and snow blowers.
Oh, and you know people take snow removal seriously when they break out the broom after they shovel.
- wodun
Are you feeling a bit testy today? If so fine, if not you just made me spray a mouth full of masticated cheese crackers across the room. The ISO RC pithy comment deserves a post of the year award.
"...when they bitch the lawn won't grow, just smile..."
Why would they bitch that you've done them a great service? I've been wondering where I could order a tri-axle of rock salt for the driveway.
mikee: our town has a simpler policy ... if you aren't completely disabled, and let the sidewalk go too long, the city will clear it for you, and bill you.
Hoosierwali as you put it, though a coined term, could describe how Hoosierland was prior to the arrival and infestation of groups of individuals who insist they have much to teach us. It was not long ago neighbors helped and watched out for others nearby.
Great observation.
We have a new neighbor who is half my age and he has managed to summon the energy to shovel exactly 1.5 times this winter. (the .5 was half of his sidewalk to the property line) where as I was supposed to shovel the sidewalk so they could walk to their car (parked in front of my house) with dry feet. I shoveled the snow under their car. Next time I have to use the snow thrower it (the snow) is going in front of their car.
Not sure I'd trust the locals here with a shovel or any other object, blunt or sharp.
Considering that this town pretty much just stops until the scary white stuff goes away, it's not that big a loss.
No sidewalks here, I had to content myself with shoveling the board walkway to my outhouse, a path around the cabin, and around my vehicle over dirt. That wasn't enough, so shoveled a couple neighbors places.
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