Wednesday, August 02, 2017

I want to see his #edc #pocketdump on the 'grams...

If you were the dictator of some Central Asian ex-SSR and you wanted all the ladies in the kingdom republic to see what a virile hunk you were and all the men to know you were a hardass with which one should not trifle, what would you do?

You'd film a video of yourself bustin' caps and flingin' knives in a way that nobody named Kim has ever been seen doing, and make sure that your troops would be seen looking on approvingly as you schooled them in the ways of the warrior.

This did not go as planned...

Is that a...? It sure is. It's a Walther G22 that looks like a Cheaper Than Dirt catalog threw up on it.

This dude is the dictator of an entire country and who lives, I am given to understand, the sort of lifestyle that has him up 'til 3AM snorting huge lines of blow off the ass cheeks of Miss Turkmenistan, and here he is with a budget .22 rifle that your average Kentuckian feels like they've outgrown around puberty, plus he's got a shitty airsoft grade optic and light on it that cost less than dinner for two at Texas Roadhouse.


Someone obviously held up the "Applaud vigorously, privates, or be made Permanent Latrine Orderly!" sign.

 Sexy Beretta .22 target pistol, but still... it's a deuce-deuce.

Jesus, this guy throws knives like Obama throws first pitches. Also, what's up with the targets? Are those fedoras? Is he practicing in case the Blue Man Group comes to Ashgebat on tour and suddenly goes full M'lady?

This video accomplishes pretty much the exact opposite of what it's supposed to accomplish. It makes him look like an Instagram twink. This man needs a Smithers, because this is what happens when you have not one person in your entourage unafraid to answer honestly when asked "Does this dress make my ass look fat?"