Thursday, September 01, 2005

Gear Ho': Tactical poser.

It's an absolute truism in the CCW community that if you wear a covering vest of some kind, especially one festooned with pockets, then every member of The Great Unwashed will divine the fact that you are carrying a pistola. This view is so entrenched that the garments are frequently referred to as "Shoot Me Vests".

I think most folks give entirely too much credit to the perceptive abilities of their fellow h. saps.

I was in line at my local inconvenience store the other day, waiting to pay for petrol and cancer sticks, and dressed to go to work. I was wearing a black 5.11 Shoot Me Vest, so as not to spook the straights with the pistol on my hip. I was wearing a Coal Creek Armory baseball cap, Adidas GSG-9 boots, and a black nylon rigger's belt. I was sporting a T-shirt from the local DOE SRT team, complete with butch-looking logo and lots of hooah-sounding Latin over the left breast. I was idly twirling my keychain, which is a Monadnock Persuader, and the pocket clips of knives were visible in both my front jeans pockets. I was wearing Wiley X SG-1 shades, fergawdssake, and the guy next to me in the line looks at me and, in an attempt to chat me up, asks...

..."Are you a photographer?"

"No, sir, I'm a tactical poser."

This answer left him puzzled, and so he plowed on in an attempt to land a date by regaling me with his days as a photographer for his college paper.

I'm beginning to think that you could walk through the middle of the mall with a neon-pink STI Open Class racegun in a drop thigh rig, wearing a tee-shirt that says, in four inch fuschia letters "I AM CARRYING A GUN", and maybe one in ten people would pause their cell phone conversations long enough to notice...

8 comments:

Say said...

Hey, you're blog has arrived. You're getting spam comments.

Welcome to it!

-SayUncle

Tam said...

Imagine my chagrine.

I wake up in the morning and "Ooh! Look! A comment!

No, wait..."

My first spam comment, and my first use of the itty-bitty trash can icon. It was a special moment.

Blake Wylie said...

Welcome to the Blogosphere. :)

Fairlane64 said...

In Kansas (my humble state of residence), CCW is still just a dream. Our governer has decided to vote it down yet again, even though it was passed by our house and senate. If only I had the opportunity to wear a 'shoot me' vest in earnest... ;)

Matt G said...

I remember thinking "it's so bleedin' obvious she's packing!"

Then I learned that I had underestimated by what amount, by size of pistol, and where.

Tam is a girly-girl. She carries a purse... for her BUG, spare ammo, and, uh, breath mints or something.

George said...

Just discovered your Blog, Tam!! Now I'll never get anything done at the office!!

GeorgeAtl....remembember??

Greg Bell said...

One time I was at the local Krystal getting some death squares. I had ordered through the window, specifically requesting that they be sans cheese (they always ask if you want it). Of course, they were dripping cheese when I got them. I go in, stuffing my SIG 229 lazily into my IWB holster. Some fossil who probably fought in the Spanish-American war absolutely insisted that I requested cheese. A guy standing beside me with his girlfriend looks down at the SIG (which I had forgotten to cover with my shirt) and told the old man, "dude, that man has a gun, if he says go get him a loaf of bread I suggest you do it!" At that point I was so pissed at the fossil that I almost said "damn right!"

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I wear a bright green t-shirt with 5 inch tall white letters on the front which scream "MY MASCOT CARRIES A GUN" (my mascot is Joe Miner, for UMR, and he does carry a gun - he is pictured on the back). I have worn it in like three different states, where people are presumed to not know who my mascot is. Not a single person has looked at me funny. Even if the shirt doesn't say that I carry a gun, it's got most of those words on it.