Saturday, July 15, 2006

Baseball: The view from the porch.

Sitting on the porch last night...

Me: "Have you checked out that Two-Four guy's blog? He's got a great essay on the '91 Series. Damn, that was the best World Series ever. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember that season like it was yesterday. I remember where I was sitting and what I was wearing when the Dodgers lost and the Braves clinched the pennant that year. I was sipping margueritas on the patio at the Buckhead Taco Mac's, about to go to Oxford Books across the street... God, the whole city was just giddy for weeks."

Gunsmith Bob: "How far back were the Braves at the All-Star break that year?"

M: "I don't know. A long way."

GB: "I think they were twelve and a half games out of first. Do you know why I want them to come from behind and win the division this year?"

M: "Why?"

GB: "Because it would just absolutely crush the hopes and dreams of Mets fans for generations to come. They'd never recover."

M: (Mentally picturing a gum-chomping Bobby Valentine) "How could anybody be a Mets fan?"

GB: (Sighing) "Y'know, Tam, you could ask me 'How could anybody be a...' and just leave it blank, and I could think of seventy or more things I just wouldn't understand. Like 'How could anybody be a Democrat?'"

*Contemplative pause as the sunset turns really pretty for a bit...*

M: "Most Mets fans are probably Democrats."

GB: "Oh, definitely! All of 'em are. And probably gay, too. And bottoms. And they like Ted Kennedy. And I just don't get any of that."

M: "They're probably all from Canada, too."

GB: "Canuckistan!"

M: "...and they probably wish they had an American League team so they could have a designated hitter!"

GB: "Whoah, there! Don't talk blasphemy, now!"

5 comments:

Billy Beck said...

I'm glad you enjoyed that article, Kiddo. I can still see the hotel room I was in when I wrote that, not looking fifteen years down the road to a time when it would be valuable to anyone else in the world.

Looks like it's worked out. Good deal.

John from SF said...

Off topic, but I couldn't find an email address for you. I did a google image search for "American gun nut", and your picture came up first! Congrads!

ColtCCO said...

You know, I can hear this conversation in my head, and it's awesome. It's like being there.

Bob's "Whoa there!" just about sent me into a fit of laughter, just like when he talks about George Kelgren.

yccol!

Timmeeee said...

The '92 series was better.

triticale said...

How do people become??? Very simple. My brother explained it to my mother many years ago when cheering the Redskins against our home town Bears. His premise is that it is normal to become a fan of whatever team is the home team when and where you become a fan of the sport.