Sunday, April 11, 2010

The best soundtrack ever.



Some folks like busting clay pigeons or shooting one-hole groups with weird benchrest rifles and probably think I'm odd for getting my ya-yas knocking over steel plates and bowling pins with a pistol. Some folks aren't happy unless their gun has micrometer sights and adjustable everything, and others aren't having fun unless their shootin' iron is an authentic piece of Old West Tech. And for some folks, true shooting nirvana is only obtainable behind a gun with "da switch".

I have an embarrassing confession to make: Shooting machine guns doesn't really do much for me. I mean, I've worked around them for a while and that pretty much jaded me right out of what little fascination they held for me in the first place. It's like a regular gun, but it shoots real fast, and ammo ain't free, y'know what I mean? And jeezis do they get dirty. If someone else is buying the ammo and cleaning the gun, I suppose I'd take a whirl behind the trigger, but I doubt I'd spend all day on the line at Knob Creek. Now, I know other people really get a charge out of it, and that's cool with me.

However, I sure don't mind watching other people shoot machine guns, let me tell you, or even watching other people watch other people shoot machine guns. It's a beautiful sight, watching ammo going downrange by the pallet load, all in an eyeblink and knowing that it's the equivalent of setting piles of Grants and Jacksons on fire, just for the sheer exuberant fun of it. Conspicuous destruction; a unique 20th Century sort of Potlatch, and the crowd is as enraptured at the cordite-scented, ear-shattering destruction as anybody you'd see at a fireworks display or in the front rows of a rock concert. The look on a kid's face as he basks in the glow of total electric candy-coated Armageddon, with his dad standing next to him looking just as entranced, is wonderful. The spectacle is, quite literally, awesome.


Really, what I go to Knob Creek for is the gun show; roaming the tables piled high with stuff, running into people I know, seeing the oddities... It's a really good gun show, but since the whole thing takes place within 100 yards or so of all that Armageddon being unleashed on the firing line, it's even more than that: It's a really good gun show with the bestest soundtrack ever.

20 comments:

Laughingdog said...

I have an embarrassing confession to make: Shooting machine guns doesn't really do much for me

What is so embarrassing about that? I got to shoot an MP5 once (people keep assuming I'm a cop, so the guy at the range just put me in the bay with the Spec War guys one time). While it was nice to put a check mark next to "shot something full-auto", what I found really satisfying was putting one bullet almost literally behind the last over and over with it in semi-auto.

If they ever repealed the Hughes Amendment, I might get a machine gun. But they just aren't enjoyable enough for me to justify the current price tag.

Now SBRs are another matter entirely for me. When I shot my second round at the target 25 meters away, I thought I missed. I almost started giggling like a little schoolgirl when he said "No. You didn't miss. You stretched the hole."

Anonymous said...

However, I sure don't mind watching other people shoot machine guns...

There is something undeniably satisfying about watching other people's money go up in smoke.

DaddyBear said...

"Da Switch". Love it.

All Knob Creek is some claymores and my weekend would have been complete.

Glad you had a good time.

Atom Smasher said...

I did a rental once and shot a Thompson M1A1, an MP5, and I think it was an AR chambered for 9mm. I fell madly in love with the Thompson, seriously intended on getting one for a while. The only other full-auto I'd get if an meteorite full of $500 bills landed in my back yard would be a BAR. I would enjoy the authenticity of having two full-auto smallarms from the U.S. army in WWII in my hands.

That's all I'd "need", but I can't pretend that firing bullets faster, as you say, didn't give me a twitch inside. I liked it.

DirtCrashr said...

I thought it was neat as hell shooting the full-auto AK74-thing in 5.56 at Gunbloggers Rendezvous but it was like getting a good massage with industrial vibrator. Tingles and all that, but I couldn't hit a thing with it or even see what I was shooting at. Cheekweld?? Uh no.

staghounds said...

Plus, it's a sacrament of liberty.

As far as I know, this is the only country on the planet where there can be a legal, civilian, safe Knob Creek.

Anonymous said...

"...all day on the line..."

Uh, no. Kinda like an all-day orgasm (just guessing here, not that I'd know for sure on either count), it'd defeat the purpose of the "rush".

But since "someone else" did buy the bullets (three seconds worth), tell me you did take a quick turn with something cool.

AT

staghounds said...

"...seeing the oddities..."

And some strange guns, too!

And for something that always reminded me of our mutual reaction to knob Creek, go to 1:34:06 of R. Lee Ermey's first movie.

Tam said...

AT,

"But since "someone else" did buy the bullets (three seconds worth), tell me you did take a quick turn with something cool."

I am embarrassed to admit that I never made it down to the rental lanes. By the time we had walked the show, the place was packed and I was getting sore and cranky.

However, to keep it in the spirit of things the money went instead towards ammunition for upcoming mall ninja class. :o

Anonymous said...

Well, bullets iz bullets, and I guess prep for the real world with a SA is more practical than gratuitous fun with a FA...

We'll be wanting a class pic all in tactiblack ninjagear of course.

AFAIC, you could have spent my piddlin' twenty on something scatteredsmothered&covered at waffle house, or powerball tix; it's just a token of appreciation for services rendered here.

Oh, and TK "cranky"? Can't imagine such a thang. ;)

AT

Anonymous said...

From Joe in PNG:

I just love me some full auto shooty fun. The Glock 18 is one of my faves.

-However-
I don't much care for the mag loading process, especally when one doesn't have a loading tool. 3 burst of fun followed by a few minutes of thumb cramp.

Crustyrusty said...

Eh, I can agree with you on the full auto thing. I guess I got jaded being an AF cop and all.

I had more fun trying to put 5 rounds in the same hole at 500 meters. Go figure.

netfotoj said...

Tam's got a camera! Nice photos. And for the world's best soundtrack, check out the sound of the U.S. Navy's 20mm Phalanx cannon. Sounds like Travis McGee's "Green Ripper."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP6GpAnmAPU

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

osm

Michael in CT said...

Between the National Guard, friends with full auto and going to a rental shoot, I've been able to get my grubby little hands on enough full auto to know that given my current income and probable future income, I won't be shelling $10K+ for a full auto. If I ever hit lotto, then sure I'll probably get a few: a Thompson, something in 9mm, a BAR a Bren and a belt fed of some sort. I've fired the more modern stuff, but the most fun was with a BAR tapping out 2-3 round bursts.

reflectoscope said...

Rock and roll will never die, no. I remain more impressed with effective use of repetition, however.

That said if I woke up with a suitcase full of non-sequential $100 bills I'd probably move somewhere where automatic firearms, suppressors et al are conversation pieces rather than contraband.

Jim

Diesel said...

I would rather have a closet full of suppressors than firearms with the group therapy switch any day.

Ross said...

Awesome writeup, Tam. And thanks for the photos.

And NO thanks for just adding something to my "bucket list" - going to Knob Creek some day. *grin*

Firehand said...

Over the years I've had the chance to shoot a couple of Ingrams and a Uzi; fun, but nothing I'd make a habit out of.

On the other hand, I REALLY want a working model of the 37mm antitank guns in front of the 45th Infantry Division museum...

Anonymous said...

"the equivalent of setting piles of Grants and Jacksons on fire"

Anyone who plays any of the various gun games seriously should refer to it as "turning money into noise"...