Thursday, April 08, 2010

Non sequitur.

So the Hutaree thing is clinging like grim death to the front page. The latest news being a tape that the FBI stool pigeon made.

In the tape, Grand Field Marshal (or whatever his rank was) David Stone Sr. starts out sounding like any other disgruntled wookie-suiter I know:
"In this nation, we think we are free, but you need a certificate to be born, a license to drive, a permit to build, a number to get a job and even a paper after you die," says David Bryan Stone Sr., 45, the alleged head of the Hutaree militia,
I'm with ya so far, Dave, 100%.

Get up, stand up! Stand up for your rights! Fight tha power!
...accused of conspiring to overthrow the government and plotting to kill police officers.

"These are permission slips from the terrorists organization called the new world order," Stone says in the tape...

Wait, what? You lost me there. I'm still trying to figure out how shooting the meter maid gets rid of social security numbers and income taxes. Can you run that one by me again?

I'm beginning to pick up the vibe that there's a sort of "Underpants Gnome" revolutionary plan at work here. You know: "Step 1: Shoot meter maid. Step 2: ??????? Step 3: Utopia!"
"Every day, we watch ever so close for those evil blue helmets to appear on our streets -- but as long as through Interpol, law enforcement mercenaries called the brotherhood working for the new world order are doing such a great job, then we don't need to watch for these foreign armies to come to our shores. They are already here," Stone says.
I'm sorry, come again? You're saying that the meter maid is part of the UN interpol brotherhood conspiracy? I'm gonna need some proof on that before I just saddle up and start busting caps, if you don't mind. And when I say "proof", I don't mean "mysterious patterns in the stickers on the backs of road signs".

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

When Wookies go bad.

And these were Democrat Wookies.

You haven't linked to that crazy video yet.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

"And these were Democrat Wookies."

Uh, one was a registered Democrat. Which doesn't necessarily mean anything. I mean, John McCain is a registered Republican, after all...

Anonymous said...

"Uh, one was a registered Democrat. Which doesn't necessarily mean anything."

It simply restates the political axiom that political violence in the USA comes from the Left, not the Right.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

"It simply restates the political axiom that political violence in the USA comes from the Left, not the Right."

Wow, speaking of "non sequitur".

Enlighten me and my other confused readers. Elucidate how these people are, and I quote you, on "the Left".

Stranger said...

Generally, politically motivated violence does come from the "what's yours should be mine" people.

Who are no stronger on logic than they are about earning their own groceries, paying their own electric bill, etc..

And whose mental shortcomings are easily taken advantage of by those who have their own interests in mind. Tell una izquierda that blowing up an airliner will get their political affinity group free meals and the attempt will be made.

Which leaves me wondering about the source of the license rant. It seems somewhat more complex than such people commonly manage to invent for themselves.

Stranger

Bram said...

"In this nation, we think we are free..."

He lost me right there. I haven't thought this was a free country for decades.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I'm with shooting buddy! Let's march them Democrats (ALL of them are violent, probably, so let's just get em all. Better safe than sorry) to the FEMA Soylent Processing Plants! Viva La Revolucione!!!

Waita Minnit....


In other news, my ex-father-in-law did some engineering for highway safety types. He told me what those sign stickers really mean. Pretty chilling. Dates!

Anonymous said...

"Let's march them Democrats (ALL of them are violent, probably, so let's just get em all. Better safe than sorry) to the FEMA Soylent Processing Plants!"

Well, my family was involved in the First Great Democrat Shoot of 1861-1865 and then came back to shoot them during the extra innings until 1877.

As PJ says, that's why we have guns, to shoot Democrats.

"Elucidate how these people are, and I quote you, on 'the Left'."

Democrats are a party of the center-left of American politics.

From Wikipedia: "The party's modern liberal platform is considered center-left in the U.S. political spectrum."

Democrats do the violence in American politics.

Ahhh, the ultra violence. The Durango '95 drove real horasho.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

One of these people is a registered Democrat, which makes the whole Hutaree organization "Violent Leftists"?

That is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've heard all month, but it's only the 8th, so there's still time to get bumped from the winner's circle, although barring a Michael Moore - Glenn Beck Jell-o rasslin match/televised debate, I wouldn't hold my breath.

They hold no leftist views. They claim no leftist goals. One calls himself a Democrat, but I could call myself Napoleon and it wouldn't give me command of the Grande Armee.

Hey, John Ross was a Democrat candidate for sheriff; does that make Unintended Consequences a violent leftist screed?

Joel said...

The code becomes clear if you only read the pages on the left, Tam. I lost all respect for John Ross when I learned what a damned Marxist he is.

Bram said...

"That is quite possibly the dumbest thing I've heard all month..."

You obviously have not been following our President's pronouncements on taxation, nuclear weapons and terrorism. I’m kind of jealous – I can’t unheard those things.

Anonymous said...

"Democrats do the violence in American politics"

That may be correct, but they are really bad at it. Some how the mental illness that produces Democrats/Leftists seems to prevent efficiency in violence.

Desertrat said...

Dunno 'bout Democrats, but political violence in the US has long been the domain of the Left.

SLA, Oakland/Berzerkely of the 60s/70s, Ayers/Dohrn, EarthFirst, Seattle/GATT, Chicago '68 and on and on. SEAI, Neo-Panthers, nowadays.

Art

Anonymous said...

"One of these people is a registered Democrat, which makes the whole Hutaree organization 'Violent Leftists'?"

Correct, see the law of Conspiracy which is what the USA is prosecuting them under.

"Hey, John Ross was a Democrat candidate for sheriff; does that make Unintended Consequences a violent leftist screed"

Again, correct.

Violence is the province of the Left.

Shootin' Buddy

jesperskibbey said...

Tam = The Voice of Reason.

Anonymous said...

"They claim no leftist goals."

Incorrect, murdering government officials has always been a Leftist goal. See Obama's Kitchen Cabinet, Bill Ayers and Forky.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

Art,

I agree with what you say there.

What I'm taking umbrage with elsewhere is certain people's lack of distinction between "some", "most", and "all", which is exacerbated by using "one who commits political violence" as the definition of "Leftist".

It's this kind of simplistic binary that has caused us to wind up with mouth-breathing populists getting labeled "conservative" just because there's an (R) after their name and they hates them some 'bortion.

Tam said...

SB,

So if a registered Republican were to shoot an abortion doctor, he would instantly and magically becomes a Leftist?

Wow, I didn't know that Methodists believed in Transubstantiation...

Anonymous said...

Republican becoming Leftist? I don't think John McCain would ever shoot an abortionist. He would vote to raise his taxes though.

Shootin' Buddy

Anonymous said...

John Ross ran for Congress, not sheriff, IIRC.

And he describes himself as a "pre-Roosevelt" democrat, which basically means a libertarian in today's terms.

Mikee said...

I cannot restrain myself from asking: How on earth, and why on earth, did you find the "stickers on back of signs conspiracy" webpage?

Because it would seem to me that a dedicated search into the more rural areas of Crazyland would be necessary to hit that site.

Or is there a whole universe of crazy of which I remain blissfully unaware, lurking close at hand just a mouse click away from where I normally reside? Can I somehow build a fence to keep it away?

TW: eteredu, the language of Crazyland, which is an anagram for "returdee"

perlhaqr said...

Mikee: I think that "sign conspiracy" page is a direct link off the Time Cube site.

Tam said...

Shootin' Buddy,

No, you are maintaining that it is the act of political violence that makes one a leftist; no matter who it is done by, for, or to, the perpetrator gets tapped with the Mao wand and automagically becomes FDR Jr.

That's f'ing crazy. I can't debate that because it's illogical and makes no sense. It's the debate equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and saying "Lalalalalala! I can't hear you! A leftist is whoever I say is a leftist!"

Sure, fine. If you define a leftist as "anybody who commits political violence", then all political violence is committed by the left.

I define "Republican" as "anybody with money in the bank", therefore the GOP controls all the private capital in the country.

Anonymous said...

Magic Mao Wand would be an awesome band name!

No, I'm not. I simply pointing out that political violence is done by the Left, not the Right.

When was the last time you saw Republicans riot at a Democratic convention? The Democratic Militia in Michigan is only the latest example of Leftist violence. The Left owns political violence as only they commit it.

Shootin' Buddy

Vaarok said...

A friend of mine works in the highway department. He would cut out messages and hide them under the reflective layer in streetsigns. Most of Utica NY has secret messages like the failings of ex-girlfriends in the signs... And insects. He liked to laminate insects.

Tam said...

Left, Left, Left,Right, Left...

roy in nipomo said...

"And he describes himself as a "pre-Roosevelt" democrat, which basically means a libertarian in today's terms."

Heck, being a "John Kennedy" democrat would practically mean he'd be a conservative in today's terms.

Anonymous said...

Really now, the only violence that the militia boys at Sipsey Street do is the violence to the breakfast buffet at Shoney's.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

That's some impressive hand-waving you're doing there. :p

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

And he describes himself as a "pre-Roosevelt" democrat, which basically means a libertarian in today's terms.


Woodrow Wilson was a libertarian? Go figure!

Gerry

global village idiot said...

Good grief.

A dozen or so years ago I spent an evening with friends in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago, one of whom had a brother who wanted to meet me.

"Nuttier than squirrel turds" doesn't even say it. We watched a video he brought over by a gal named Linda Thompson. Typical conspiracy drivel about camps and helicopters and so forth. My favorite part, however, was the "stickers on the back of road signs" thing. They're all on the backs, you see, because the "Blue Bonnets" all drive on the wrong side of the road!

Hmm...We're gonna be invaded and occupied by a coalition of Brits, Japanese, Aussies and Jamaicans. Uh-huh......

On and on he went. He knew I was a Reservist and asked me if I could get him an M16. Let's see...I've known you for all of 45 minutes, and you want me to do something for you that is not only practically impossible to carry off, but (if I could and wanted to) would end my career and make me a federal felon. Sounds great - what could possibly go wrong?

Lastly, he let me in on a "secret." This whole nefarious conspiracy was the work of none other than the Freemasons. Oh, really? I'm a Freemason and I've never been briefed.

"That's because you're not high enough up in the Order."

Oh really. Who is?

"The ones who really run the show are the 32nd Degree Masons."

You mean THESE PEOPLE? I said, as I pulled out my Scottish Rite dues card that showed me as being duly and truly a "Sublime Prince of the Royal Secret," 32nd degree Scottish Rite Mason.

Would you believe the guy turned as grey as Indiana limestone and asked me if I was going to turn him in?!

True story, every single word on my honor as a man and Mason.

gvi, PM
Griffith Lodge #735
Griffith, Indiana

wv: lousi

Anonymous said...

"That's some impressive hand-waving you're doing there. :p"

Just you wait until Knob Creek! I'll be using my Jedi hand waving powers all along Sipsey Street.

"SB, what's that flag?"
"Um, it's not a IIIper flag that's for sure."
"SB, what did that poster say?"
"Nothing at all *waves hand*"
"SB, why is that famous member of the gun culture dressed up in a Gadsen shirt and a tri-corner hat?"
"What Gadsen shirt?"

Shootin' Buddy

Wolfwood said...

In other news, my ex-father-in-law did some engineering for highway safety types. He told me what those sign stickers really mean. Pretty chilling. Dates!

Would it be rude to say that perhaps getting a few dates would've done most of these Hutaree folks a lot of good?

Anonymous said...

"Linda Thompson"!!!

Marion County Bar Association contribution to the Wookie Cause!

I thought they kicked her out and she ran down to Texas after she tried to bring all those guns into the courthouse?

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

"Woodrow Wilson was a libertarian? Go figure!"

Maybe he meant the other Progressive Roosevelt... ;)

Keads said...

Well of course the stickers on the back of signs mean something! How else could you navigate to DIA when the order comes down? www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Denver_Airport.html

Newbius said...

Thanks for sending me down the rabbit hole. :)

I hit every site I could find on "TacMar" stickers, and I've discovered that there are people out there who are bug-nuts crazy. Ironically, most of the people with blog posts about TacMars *ALSO* have links to people like Code Pink, ELF, PETA, and the like. One would assume that their sympathies tend toward Brand "D", or did when TehEbilBUUUUSH was President.

It is nice to know I am less crazy than them, even though I would agree that there are contingency plans in place for civil disruption. After all, what responsible government doesn't have contingency plans in the archive?

As for the Hutaree? I still think that the charges will be plead out to misdemeanor at best. I am expecting that the First Rule of Conspiracy will hold true, namely that the guy agitating for violence is the Undercover Government Agent. :D

Pax,

Newbius

(wv:"retori" Words spoken to yourself in the echo chamber)

Tam said...

Hey, this is stuff that dates back to the '90s heyday of conspiranoia, back when it was Clinton who was going to have the UN invade and throw us all into camps. It got really nutty on the gun boards leading up to Y2K; the Dems were going to declare an emergency and suspend the elections and we were all going to get shackled into boxcars and dragged off to FEMA camps when the lights went out. Good times, good times! ;)


(I didn't know that Mark Koernke and Alex Jones were members of Code Pink and PETA!)

Jenny said...

I dunno... I vaguely recall that there was a smidge of low-tax/pro-individual liberty-based political violence once upon a time.

.. of course, it's been a couple hundred years.

Ken said...

I dunno... I vaguely recall that there was a smidge of low-tax/pro-individual liberty-based political violence once upon a time.

.. of course, it's been a couple hundred years.


The Whiskey Rebellion?

(I keed, I keed.)

WV: "rehesse" Burn it down, raze it flat, and give it back to the Hessians!

Anonymous said...

"Mark Koernke and Alex Jones"

I'll need the cause numbers for the prosecution for the crimes of violence.

However, those guys are so far down the Wookie Hole that they bumped past L. Neil Smith on the way down.

Shootin' Buddy

Anonymous said...

from Joe in PNG:

Once one goes far enough Left or Right to pass the Wacko Event Horizion, it becomes hard to tell if one is a Rightist or Leftist. Inside the Crazytown Singularity all political paths curve into one Black Hole of Insanity.

(wv- comica: The Illogic used in Crazytown as seen by an outsider

Kristopher said...

Newbius:

Try looking up "chemtrails" and "sprinklers".

Heh.

Purity of Essence!

Tam said...

"I'll need the cause numbers for the prosecution for the crimes of violence."


You're about two tacks behind the Topic Drift.

mcthag said...

Tam? You are correct in wanting proof. I recommend 80+ proof in large glasses. After about three, this all starts making perfect sense.

After about five, I know what step two is, but I am too drunk to stand. Alas; utopia will never be achieved!

tanksoldier said...

Well, what he's saying is that as long as we have government agencies and agents that make us toe the UN line the UN doesn't need top send troops here to do it.

Now, whether that's a credible claim...

monkeyfan said...

I fervently hope 'they' send UN blue hats to our invasion U.S.A. red dawn party.

Those cats couldn't find their own asses if they were handed to them on AAA maps by a gaggle of barking Jesse Ventura HAARPies...Much less follow sticker-coded street signs to their rally points.

WV - remari

Do you really want to give another house away son?