Thursday, April 08, 2010

The very root of the problem.

All politics is, they say, local, and in local political issues we get to see the Big Problems facing America explained in the most simple and easy-to-understand terms.

For instance, in the fair suburban hamlet of Greenwood, Indiana, people occasionally drive their vehicles into retention ponds and glug their last before they can be rescued. This has naturally raised a hue and cry from the bereaved calling for guard rails around said ponds.

Greenwood looks into exactly how much this will cost, and...
[T]here are logistical issues. Some ponds are on private property, and barriers will be costly.

"We're looking at about $750,000," said Richards.

But the price doesn't put off Mike Farmer's stepfather.

"I don't know how many lives it takes before money doesn't become an issue," said Mears.

Money, Mr. Mears, is always an issue.

I know you don't understand this, but things like guardrails are not crapped out by some benevolent unicorn; they have to be built by people. These people would probably like to be compensated for their services.

We can't just wave a magic wand and make money a non-issue, you dolt. It doesn't work that way, although I can understand how watching Congress at work might convince you otherwise.

40 comments:

BobG said...

Some dumbass runs off the road and into a pond, and it is the state's responsibility to make certain no one is hurt? What an idiot.

Themadlemming said...

I work for a city government. We deal with stuff like this almost daily. "We/ I want the city to do ______. Why won't you do it?" "Well, Sir/ Madam, there's the issue of private property/ money/ not our responsibility."

JohnMXL said...

"But if it saves just one life, it'll be worth it!" Oh wait...that only applies when they are enacting laws that restrict individual freedom.

Anonymous said...

"I don't know how many lives does it take before money doesn't become an issue?"

Ya know, change out a noun and a verb here and there and you've got the rallying credo of nanny staters everywhere; reduces that nebulous and nefarious hopeychangey shit to what they really mean.

Of course the irony and absurdity would be lost on them...they'd be all, "hell, yeah!"

AT

Bram said...

How many lives does it take before staying on the road becomes more important than your phone call, changing the radio, or sending text messages?

Michael Z. Williamson said...

I live in Greenwood, and I haven't noticed this being a problem.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Broad Ripple can have a benefit for Greenwood Guardrails?

Men in sandals and angry women with pamphlets would strum guitars and have a drum circle.

I'm thinking: "The Broad Ripple Bake Sale for Greenwood Safety and the Liberation of El Salvador".

Shootin' Buddy

Anonymous said...

"Angry Women With Pamphlets" would be a great band name.

Shootin' Buddy

Boat Guy said...

Why is it the government's job to thwart natural selection?
Waaaay too much of that going on for several decades as it is...

Anonymous said...

"These people would probably like to be compensated for their services"

Hmmm... they must not be doctors. We enjoy working for free, or at least that's what I'm told.

WV: redge- when rage over congress' incompetence turns your vision red.

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

"I don't know how many lives does it take before money doesn't become an issue?"

Libs always grab on to the principle of "you can't put a price tag on a human life" (unless they're talking about elective abortion, of course), and it really is a good general principle. The problem is that, in real life, it always runs up against the limiting factor of a finite supply of money. You have to "put a price tag on human life," because you only have so much money to spend.

Of course, what Libs usually want also ignores things like private property rights, individual rights, and personal responsibility. But that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

Anonymous said...

The US should mandate only 100%floatable cars be sold by 2012.

We should give GM $1,000,000 to develop this technology and lead the world in floatation.

We should have a program to buy back old sinking cars so people can afford the new floaters.

We can recycle the old cars into guard rails for developing countries that can't afford the new $50K floating cars.

How many more people must die before Kenya has guard rails on their highways by 2025?

Gerry

Anonymous said...

If Mr. Mears feels this is such an important thing to do, then why doesn't he put up the money himself?

Oh, he wants us to pay for them.

jeffreyquick said...

I poked around a bit -- it sounds like Mr. Farmer might have had an epileptic seizure while driving, in which case he could have hit the guard rail full force and died that way. Also, he made it to the hospital and died there, FWIW.

If life is infinitely precious, what about the part of my life that I have to surrender to somebody else in order to pay for guard rails? Isn't that also infinitely precious? It's not like I get extra time at the end for paying my taxes...

Don Meaker said...

If money is not an issue, how many millions will Mr. Mears contribute....from his own pocket?

sofa said...

A unicorn at each pond could quickly fill the pond with skittles, making guard rails unnecessary.

And between elections, what are the underemployed unicorns to do?

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

"We should have a program to buy back old sinking cars so people can afford the new floaters."

Heh. If we make GM do it, they'll definitely be "floaters". No matter how many times we flush.

og said...

How about Mike Farmer's Stepfather get himself a post hole digger and some pieces of railroad rail and a socket set and some bolts and a bucket of yellow paint and go DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT HIMSELF rather than make ME pay to have it done?

Or, how about this: LET THE STUPID DROWN. IT UNCROWDS THE PLANET FOR THOSE OF US CAPABLE OF OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE ON THE ROAD. Shit, fill the damned retention ponds with gators and flesh eating bacteria.

Sorry. Bad morning on the roads.

Tirno said...

Arright, if you're wondering what the value of human life is, I'll give it to you:

$1,285,000

That's 40 working years times the average income of people with earnings over the age of 25. From wikipedia. That's every penny of income (not including other non-reported employment benefits) that the Average Joe earns in a lifetime, not allowing him any deduction for food, shelter or clothing.

So, as we can see, $750,000 would be about the same as finding this hypothetical Average Joe, and murdering him at age 48.34, in exchange for saving a hypothetical number of inattentive drivers from unintended suicide.

It's a simplistic calculation, but sometimes simple is what you need to make the point: how many people's complete equivalent lives are you going to absorb to "save just one life"?

OA said...

Tirno said...
Arright, if you're wondering what the value of human life is, I'll give it to you:

$1,285,000



An abortion is far less expensive than that.



og said...
How about Mike Farmer's Stepfather get himself a post hole digger and some pieces of railroad rail and a socket set and some bolts and a bucket of yellow paint and go DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT HIMSELF rather than make ME pay to have it done?



The sad thing is that I can pretty much not only guarantee you that doing something his ownself didn't even cross his mind, but guarantee you that the city would throw him in jail if he actually did that.

jason said...

and notice how vague the problem actually is: they've "probably" had 10 or 12 accidents in the last couple years (that inlcudes those where "things went well." and for this non-problem they want to spend 3/4 of a million?
how about spending enough money to put up a sign that says "Driving into a pond is a stupid thing to do."

theirritablearchitect said...

Bubble-wrap theory, taken to its logical conclusion.

Time to start with the gallows construction, and make it sturdy, she's going to get a workout.

Tell me, why is it that the whole Darwinian angle of this mess is conspicuously missing from the discussion? The Donks/Libs/Progs are always harping about that, right? But when it comes to people my heart is supposed to somehow ache for others' stupidity?

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

"for this non-problem they want to spend 3/4 of a million?
how about spending enough money to put up a sign that says "Driving into a pond is a stupid thing to do."


It's government. They'd probably spend 3/4 of a million doing that, too.

Tam said...

Jake,

Your internets is in the mail.

Bram said...

Jersey spent more than that for electronic signs to tell me I'm sitting in traffic.

OA said...

"Tell me, why is it that the whole Darwinian angle of this mess is conspicuously missing from the discussion? The Donks/Libs/Progs are always harping about that, right? But when it comes to people my heart is supposed to somehow ache for others' stupidity?"


You mean the feeble, incapable, leg piddling cowards that wouldn't have survived 200 years ago? To be blunt, most of them are culls and they know it.

Hyman Roth said...

Indiana voted for Obama, didn't they?

Screw them. Can we re-program the GPS system to send more dummies into the lake?

Tam said...

Hyman Roth,

49.9% to 49%.

Maybe if the GOP had fielded an actual candidate, the 1.1% that went to Barr would have voted for the Dead Elephant party. The last-minute addition of Palin to the Amenhotep IV ticket helped, but not enough.

As it is though, 11/'08 merely proved the truth of the old maxim that when you run a liberal Democrat against a liberal Democrat, the liberal Democrat always wins.

GuardDuck said...

Amenhotep IV ticket

Lolz! Coffee - nose - reverse aspiration - pain.

curse you high snark goddess of the interwebs

atlharp said...

EEM-OOH-TEP!

On those guardrails why doesn't Greenwood work three jobs to pay for it himself. I mean if lives are at stake which he believes why doesn't he sacrifice his bank account?

I can't stand people like this.

Methusaleh McCain couldn't swing the election because he was as stale as "alternative" rock. Seriously, in the last election it was a lose/lose situation. The only thing that benefited us was that the right people were left with jizz dripping from their chins.

P.S. sorry for that image. :-S

DirtCrashr said...

Guardrails are no needed but directional signs are. They're just Seekers of Truth, looking for The Magical Quadrilateral to ramp-off, so they can land in bacon. It's Heavenly.

DMP said...

You can't fix stupid.

theirritablearchitect said...

"...Maybe if the GOP had fielded an actual candidate, the 1.1% that went to Barr would have voted for..."

OK, that does it.

That bastard actually got 1.1% of the vote?

I mean, look; Barry and his ilk, I get that. That's what those knuckle-draggers wanted, and he's their posterboy and all. True-believers and all. Like I said, I get that.

But Barr? WHO, in their right-flippin' MIND would ever vote for Barr, let alone a whole 1.1%?!?

Who?

Anonymous said...

Well damn, tia, start tossing around qualifiers like that and nobody votes for nobody (huh, not a bad option come to think of it).

But, as to "Who?"

*raises hand*

As to why?

No box for "Not Mac or O".

Al Terego

Anonymous said...

Kids these days. Mr. Mears is free to pay for the guard rails all by himself, being as money is no issue for him. Better yet, people could just keep their cars on the road all by themselves. -- Lyle

theirritablearchitect said...

Al,

Not to put too fine a point on it, but, have you ever really looked at Barr's history?

Where he started, and with whom he's been associated with over the years?

Not a stellar record.

Let's just say that he's a flavor-of-the-month kind of politician. The man has fewer principles than Bill Clinton, I dare say.

TheOtherLarry said...

Something bad happened.

Why, there outta be a law!

Dr. StrangeGun said...

I wonder if anyone realizes that the kind of guardrail usually installed by city works will get punched right through by an errant 4000 pound vehicle... and keeps the livestock out. (semicircle, I know, yadayada)

What Farmer Joe needs is a couple of nice heavy bollards. Find some cast off well liner or some other heavy pipe, sink it ten feet or so into the ground (easier than it sounds, especially next to a pond... pump and a hose in the top and a backhoe to hold it upright while it sinks itself in), fill with concrete or packed earth when done.

Errant motorists will definitely not make it... to the pond anymore.

WV = askabile . Goes without saing.

Anonymous said...

tia,

bro. bill *is* looking pretty good right about now, ain't he?

AT

TOTWTYTR said...

If he feels so strongly about it, Mr. Mears should fund the construction of guard rails.